Yum! Cum!

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Pin the Tail on the Ass Tag Teams

Part 7 of Jack and Emily's journey of sexual renewal. Catch up at:-

1. Masturbatorium - Jack's sperm donations;
2. Inseminatorium - a 'natural' service business;
3. Out of Office Service - Sandy's lust sated;
4. The Sex Counselor's Class - From vanilla to strawberries and cream
5. The Play Date - Friends with benefits
6. The Pool Party

Sure enough, on the Monday following the pool party, Emily receives an e-mail from Tess inviting she and Jack to a 'Tag Team' night at her house on Friday. 

Image: "TheSportster" Wrestlemania

It was to be a 'fun' night, so they are to wear some sort of sexy fancy dress costume, mask or hat. Tess is going to introduce them to Fanny and Dick, another couple in their circle - nibbles and drinks kick off at 7pm. The change from Wednesday to Friday is to allow the kids to have a pajama party with no school next day. Tess asks if they would mind if her children come to Em's house for the evening and their 17 year old Tabitha would 'sit' them. "Just to clarify" Tess wrote, "our little group has some basic rules.  We meet for group sexy fun - there is no 'partner swapping' as such, and at the end of the night we go home with our own partners, for the sake of the children. We use a 'safe word' of 'Red light' if there is something you don't like, or a double tap on the other person's shoulder".

Emily immediately replies with a "Can't wait!".

On Friday, Emily has the children fed, showered and dressed for bed early. Tabitha arrives with her brother and sister about 6. Once she has been shown where everything is, Emily and Jack drive over to Tess and Tim's. Jack and Emily have dressed in leathers and Em looks the quintessential 'biker's moll'.

Tim answers the door dressed in a Tarzan loin cloth. Tess calls out "Hi", flouncing around in a skimpy leopard print 'dress' - well 'dress' is a bit of an exaggeration - it is a piece of cloth draped over one shoulder, leaving the opposite breast exposed and hung down the front and back, barely covering her butt. A simple cord cinches it to her slim waist.

It is just a minute or two later and the door bell rings again. Tess brings in Fanny and Dick and introduces them. Fanny is dressed in tight white leather short-shorts, a pink fluro crop-top and she towers on 6" perspex platform shoes. Dick, with sleeveless leather top over his bare hairy chest, is sporting heavy gold bling, looking perfectly like her pimp.

Tess arranges everyone seated around the lounge, separating each from their partner. After hor dourves and a couple of glasses of champagne, Tess rings a bell and announces "Let the games begin".

"OK girls. Time to get commando, if you're not already. We are going to play 'pin the tale on the ass'". Tess produces two bowls with the three names of the girls in one and the guy's names in the other. She then comes out with three blind-folds and three fox tails on butt plugs and a large tube of lube. She draws the first guy's name out, Dick, and he is duly blind-folded and given the first tail with the plug well lubed. The first girl's name drawn is her own, so Tess flicks her 'dress' up and assumes the position and Em lubes her up. The others twirl Dick round and round, and then with much jeering, yahooing and encouragement, Dick feels his way around, fondling bodies, breasts and butts until he finds Tess's naked arse, then with exploring fingers, 'pins the tail on the ass', with much cheering.

Image from Amazon.com

The game is repeated twice more till all foxy ladies are appropriately tailed.

With three glasses of champagne downed, the ladies retire to the bathroom. "I have never understood women" says Tim. "They always seem to turn going for a piss into a social event!". The other two agree with a half tipsy giggle.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Tess presides over the proceedings. "OK girls, we are playing Tag Team next. But we are going to trick the guys. We all have to remove make-up and wash off perfume. I have a different bottle of perfume that we will all wear. Then I have three wigs, blond, black and brunette, the same as our natural hair, but we are each going to wear a different colour from our natural hair. OK, now lets strip off, keep your tail on and get ready".

The girls sashay back into the lounge, swinging their boobs and twerking their fox tails, to much cheering and clapping from the guys. The men start stripping themselves without further encouragement.

"Right O guys. We are going to play Tag Team next, but I'm afraid you are the ones being tagged" announces Tess. Pulling out three padded ottomans, Tess directs the men to finish stripping and to sit down. "Right girls. Blind-fold these fuckers. Now lie them back and use these cords to tie their hand to the legs". The men are now lying on their backs over the ottomans with their heads hanging over one end and their legs over the other, with rising erections on prominent display.

"OK girls. I've got a timer here and we are going to have three minutes on each guy in turn, switching to the next man on the bell. We'll start off sucking those nice cocks I see rising to the occasion. Then we'll switch ends and sit on their faces to see if they are as good suckers and lickers as they are fuckers. Then we'll do the round again for some more clitoral attention whilst we suck them off 69 style. Finally, we will fuck these poor aching twitching cocks, three minutes each, repeating the circle until one of them comes."

"Now girls, I want you to call out the counts as you reach each orgasm. There is a prize for the first to orgasm and a prize for the most orgasms. For you guys, there is a prize for the guy that lasts the longest before cumming."

Tess sets the timer for the first round and announces "Let the game begin".

Two minutes into the first sitting of cunnilingus, Fanny shouts "That's one" whilst her body shakes and her thighs clamp around poor Jack's head. On their second guy, Tess and Em call "One" and Fanny calls "Two" and "Three". On their third sitting,  Tess calls three more and Fanny two more. Emily is struggling to climb the peak again. In the 69 round, all three girls have three more orgasms each.

Under 69, poor Dick is struggling to hold back. He holds his breath, stiffening his legs and reciting football scores in his head to take his mind off what is happening. The switch of partner gives him a few seconds each time to back off.

In the fucking round, despite the prize incentive, all three guys can't help but to thrust back. All three just manage to pass the six minute mark. With his third partner, Tim thrusts and twists in Fanny's cunt (though neither know who the other is) until he hits her g-spot. Fanny orgasms again with a massive vaginal orgasm, her whole body shaking and her cunt clamping tightly around Tim, sucking and sucking, until he can't resist and explodes into her. As Fanny's orgasm subsides, she breathlessly whispers "That's six I think". She falls forward onto Tim's chest, their heated perspiration intermingling. Her cunt still holds Tim's slowly deflating erection in, when there is a small twitching orgasm. She giggles, saying "Seven". In the remaining two minutes she claims "Eight" and "Nine".

"Oh bugger" exclaims Tim, "I just couldn't hold out any longer".

On the final bell, the girls lean forward removing their man's blind-fold and kissing them passionately, with a "Thank you".

The girls get up and undo the men's tied hands. Tim and Fanny embrace and kiss passionately. But Dick and Jack still have raging unsatisfied erections. With a glance at each other, they each push their woman forward over a chair and with a flick of their fox tails to one side, plunge their aching hardness into the waiting red hot wet cunts and finish what the girls had started, with Jack lasting longest by about one second.

All totally exhausted, they collapse onto the settees to cool off and to catch their breath. After a couple of minutes, Tim announces, "OK guys. Dinner's not finished till we've eaten dessert". So they all immediately drop to their knees in front of their last partner and lick those creamy pussies clean.

Finally, Tess gets up and brings in glasses of iced water.

Recuperated, they get chatting and congratulating Tess on an excellent games night. Tess then brings out three packages and presents Fanny with prizes for the first and most orgasms, and Jack for lasting the longest. As a consolation prize, Tess brings out a little medallion hanging on a loop of ribbon, which she hangs over Tim's cock. There is much whooping, clapping and slapping Tim on the back.

Unfortunately, Tim and Tess only have a double shower, so the couples go off to shower in pairs, each with their final partner. In their semi-drunken state and the girls wigs, the guys still aren't quite sure who they are with. In the bathroom, Fanny removes her wig and fox tail, and Tim says, "So it's you. You were awesome". In the shower, having washed each other down, Fanny says "You were pretty awesome yourself. Come here!" and pushes Tim's head down to her groin, thrusting her pussy into his face where he licks and sucks until she comes again, "Oh thank you! That's ten. A perfect ending to a perfect evening!" exclaims Fanny.

As they dry off, Emily and Dick came into to shower, then Tess and Jack. 

All dried, Tess tells them "You can all wear your fox tails home too". With fox tails reinserted, they all collect their gear putting on just sufficient clothes to be semi-respectable for their drives home. Back with their respective partners as they head to the door, Fanny turns around and says "Our place next month?".

Click to see who else has

written erotic fiction this week.

Click to see who else is saying "MMM" on Monday.

The Pool Party

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Why Can't a Man Love More Like a Woman? The Orgasm Gap

Photo by Julianna Crozier, The State Press, 
published Monday, April 24, 2017.

Content Warning: This subject primarily discusses traditional cis heterosexual couples and gender characteristics described are from observational statistical norms only, and should not be interpreted as holding across the sexuality spectrum.

For the '4Thoughts or Fiction' meme prompt #174' 'The Orgasm Gap', guest host Zara Smith quotes from a research study, “Studies have consistently found that there is a gendered orgasm gap, with men experiencing orgasm more frequently than women in heterosexual sexual encounters”. The most commonly quoted statistic is that among heterosexual couples, 95% of males had an orgasm during sex (intercourse) and only 65% of females.

Interpreting the Research Data

Frankly, I'm surprised at the 65% - other research reports around 40%. But the critical issue is the restriction to "during sex/intercourse". A sexual encounter is (or should be) much more and longer than just the intercourse. What are the statistics for women's orgasms during fore (or after) play?

One factor not accounted for in this research, is age/experience. With experience, comes better communication and understanding of each other, so hopefully the gap will be less. On the other hand, older women have the issue of menopause and its effect on libido, and older men grapple with ED. The related factor is how long each couple had been in the relationship - hopefully couples in longer term relationships, with more understanding of each other, will be more likely to have a smaller orgasm gap. And what about the 'missing 5%' of males that don't orgasm - is that we septuagenarians with ED?

Other research data sometimes quoted, is the time to reach orgasm - for males it is around 5 mins, but for females it is about 15 mins. On the basis of this statistic, a couple should spend at least 10 minutes in foreplay before penetration. Or to reword an old joke, you should alternate, 10 mins 'Offer' and 5 mins 'Honour'.

Vive la Difference

Frankly, the male and female orgasm are so different, that I don't think it is even valid to compare counts of either.

First and foremost, the male orgasm is the primal response of the urge to procreate. The goal of every sexual penetrative encounter, is ejaculation, and thus orgasm. For the majority of men, ejaculation and orgasm are effectively concurrent. (But with age and especially post prostate cancer radiotherapy ED, I have found that in fact either can occur without the other). Further, my observation is that the male orgasm is primarily the pumping muscles at the base of the penis, which is quite different to female orgasms from the pelvic floor or kegal muscles, not forgetting some full body convulsing. It is only recently that I have experienced minor pelvic-floor leg shaking orgasms (after 50 years) - more of this later.

Female sex on the other hand is primarily for the hormonal responses. Release of Oxytocin during orgasm is associated with pleasure and emotional bonding. Although the vaginal orgasm (as distinct from clitoral orgasms) is also essentially the 'tie' to increase the chance of insemination, where inward sucking orgasmic convulsions hold the ejaculating penis in longer and suck the ejaculate in toward the cervix (we see this in animal servicing - my wife used to breed dogs so I have personal observation experience of 'the tie'). The anecdotal feedback I have received, is that the 'tie' type vaginal orgasm is a very small percentage of all female orgasms.

For simple males, orgasm is a single event. But for women, there is a wide variety of types of orgasm. They are most often not single events. The record I have had the pleasure of observing and being the recipient, was a cluster of several clitoral orgasms, followed by about 8 squirting orgasms (vaginal g-spot), and 1 massive vaginal orgasm (the 'tie' described above), followed by 5 or 6 'after shocks'. How does that count against my measly single 'shot'? For the above 'research', this would count as just '1' during intercourse.

The Loci of Stimulation

The key points of stimulation are the penis and the clitoris. But so many men still don't fully understand the importance of clitoral stimulation toward a woman's orgasm (despite some improvement in Sex Ed curriculum). Further, the majority don't understand the full internal structure of the clitoris, from the visible head, to the 'legs' behind the labia, down to the g-spot on the upper wall of the vagina. The entire structure is sensitive to stimulation and penetrative coitus just doesn't stimulate that very much.

The Road to Arousal

Most commonly, the stimulus for male arousal is physical, visual topping the list, followed by aural and tactile. For females, emotional triggers, romantic gestures, relational closeness, relaxing intimate atmosphere, erogenous touching, etc are more conducive to arousal. Consequently, it is the female arousal that is more easily 'punctured'.

'A woman's sex drive is related to how beautiful you make her feel!' (found on twitter, original source unknown).

Arousal of erogenous zones are understood by most people. But there are variants and nuances that should be learned. But more importantly, there are approaches and touches that are not always received well, typically by the woman. Communication is the key. Men must learn that anything they do is not necessarily OK. They must learn respect, to ask permission, "Is this OK? Do you like that?". Conversely, women must be up-front, though gentle, in saying "I don't like that!" or "Here, do it this way" (show and tell).

The next stage is timing. Men typically don't understand how long it takes for a woman to become aroused. There must be communication to indicate when it is OK to move on to the next level. This applies to all stages, from flirting, initial touching, kissing, caressing, outside clothes, under-clothes, breasts, genitals, and ultimately when she is ready for penetration.

Up to this point, the goal of arousal for both male and female, although reached by different paths, is the same, the sexual desire. For females especially, it is often called a plateau when they fail to move on to orgasm. For it is at this point where the divergence to the orgasm gap starts. Once aroused, orgasm is reached by direct stimulation of the sex organ, the penis or the clitoris - take note males, the primary female sex organ is the clitoris, NOT her vagina. Whilst penetration of the vagina readily stimulates a penis to orgasm, her clitoris is not generally stimulated enough from penetration in the typical 'missionary' position. A knowledgeable male can adjust his thrusting to ensure her g-spot gets some attention, or pubic rubbing of her labia and clitoral head. But much more successful is to use a woman-on-top position, because she knows which angles, twists and pressure points give her the stimulation she seeks. And the best variant is 'outercourse' or the 'pussy slide' where the penis and clitoris stimulate each other directly, and she can readily move on to intercourse if and when she is ready or desires.

But once we shake off the traditional concept that sex=penetration, other forms of genital stimulation of both partners is much more equitable, with hands/fingers, mouth/tongue.

Sex needs to be understood as a joint endeavour. Think of it like mountain climbing. There will be stages where one must help the other up, there will be plateaus, but to reach the summit together, you must climb together. And the  summit is sexual pleasure, not necessarily ejaculation.

Instruments of Arousal to Orgasm

We are all equipped with nature's own instruments of arousal, hands, fingers, mouth, tongue, penis and labia. But skill levels are sometimes appalling, and understanding that a partner may or may not like certain things is often not communicated. I have had the privilege of sharing cunnilingus with numerous ladies and discussed their experiences, and I am amazed at some of the stories they have told me. (I am eternally grateful to these ladies for teaching me acceptable pleasuring techniques, and I obviously learned well, with one dubbing me 'Thomas The Tongue Engine').

Mutual masturbation is an important tool for a couple to move on from initial arousal toward orgasm, together.

Arousal aids (sex toys) are becoming much more common, but again, communication is critical as to when, how and if they can be used on a partner. For females, they have become important instruments in women achieving (perhaps their first) orgasm, probably solo. It reminds me of the story where the husband says to his wife "Why don't you tell me when you orgasm?". She replies, "Because you're not around when I do"!

Perhaps you should consider (together) a 'Toy For Two' like I reviewed a while back, that provides clitoral stimulation during coitus.

"Why Can't A Man Love More Like A Woman?"

As a result of the "Orgasm Gap" and women's understanding of the reasons and their desire to 'have what he's having', I suspect there is an increase in women turning to 'bi' encounters to get the satisfaction they want, from someone that understands what a woman needs to achieve the 'Big O'. In a recent fiction piece I wrote, the key lady laments "Why can't a man love more like a woman?".

Only once men come to understand that sex is not just about their orgasm, and they start to understand how to arouse a woman, that "She comes first" and "The show's not over till the 'fat' lady sings!" will the orgasm gap start to narrow. Sexual pleasure must become the "Land of the we" instead of the "Land of the me!".

A Medical Response

I subscribe the the 'WebMD' mailing list and they regularly post information on sex life.  A recent post relevant to the Orgasm Gap, was "Habits of Couples Who Have Great Sex", summarized as:-

1. Define sex broadly - it's much more than PIV and (male) ejaculation;
2. Get educated;
3. Touch each other - physical contact builds connection and trust;
4. Confide in each other - communication;
5. Use therapy - uses resources outside yourselves;
6. Stay flexible about each others wants/needs;
7. Make time;
8. Experiment;
9. Cater to and care about satisfying your partner;
10. Seek gratification - practice makes perfect;
11. Use tools;
12. Work at it;
13. Limit porn - porn sets unrealistic expectations of what sex IRL is like;
14. Don't obsess about orgasm;
15. Read each other's cues;

Wrap Up

I wouldn't dream of calling this a 'conclusion' or the 'final word'. Many readers from the sex blogging sphere, being 'sex positive' probably don't have this issue, and think my comments all too obvious. But I know I have a lot of young, curious male readers and so I hope the above causes them to think twice about ensuring their partner orgasms as often as they do.

As always, feedback is always appreciated, positive or negative. Being a mere male observer and commentator, I'm sure there will be some females or non-binary readers, that feel I have got something wrong or missed the point, or don't have the right to speak about how a woman feels. That's fine, speak up and have your say. As a writer, I have to grapple with 'audience' issues all the time.

PS. The Modified Male Orgasm

I touched on this above, and want to come back to this subject to finish off. Can a male have a female like orgasm? To some extent, yes! Some men claim that concurrent prostate massage has led to a slight pelvic orgasm at the same time as ejaculation - with my occasional prostate massage, I haven't had this experience. But I have found that constrained ejaculation causing ejaculate to backup in the urethra almost to the bladder, has led to leg shaking pelvic orgasms. In one case, my partner clamped her mouth tightly around my glans during fellatio forcing my ejaculate to backup, then with a massive pelvic orgasm, she released an explosive geyser-like ejaculation. The other situation I am finding since my radiotherapy ED, is the use of a tight cock ring and a tight masturbation sleeve, which holds the ejaculation back from release (despite its very small volume). This 'locked-in' feeling triggers a small pelvic orgasm.

But loving more like a woman? I do my best to put my women's needs on a level footing with my own. I do my best to try and listen and follow their direction/lead. But frankly I'm not naturally a 'romantic', emotive type of bloke. The best I can do is to be aware of our differences, and consciously make adjustments in my behaviour.

Click to read other's Thoughts on the "Orgasm Gap"

How Many Angels Can Dance on the Head of a Pin?

It had been a stressful Monday at work and as I finally got away after 6, I really felt I needed some stress-relief before I went home to goodness-knows what, so I stopped off at a brothel I drove past every night.

I selected a perky cutie calling herself Vanessa, and we headed off to the bedroom. As I came out of the shower and she walked back in, she stared at me saying "Oh, my God. Its so big".

I ignored her comment, helped her out of her skimpy g-string and top, and we retired to the bed.

But despite passionate kissing and cuddling and a nice hand-job, she still insisted that she didn't think she would be able to take me, since she was relatively new to the job.

I told her to relax and told her the story of "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?". (It dates back to the 13th century, to Thomas Aquinas, as an illustration of pointless arguments.)

Image from Pinterest, originally from ck12.org.

"So how about we dance?

I held my erect pin vertically and directed her to squat over it, then to perform a little dance on the head of my pin.

Well, she definitely was tight. (Sadly, it reminded me of my wife's vaginismus, frozen vagina, years ago). But as Vanessa twisted and 'danced', she giggled, but I did feel her wetness developing. She didn't exactly inch on to me, it was more millimetre by millimetre. By the time her tight pussy had taken in my glans, her giggles had turned to moans, and her little pirouettes had become a vigorous twist.

Her love juices were running down my root now, and with released passion and enthusiasm, she lifted up then thrust down on me, again, and again and again. She leaned over me, took my head in her hands and kissed me passionately, saying "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You're so thick, but Oh so nice! I should be paying you." (which she didn't).

Needless to say, I didn't last long, though she didn't orgasm herself.

I got an extra big kiss and cuddle as I was leaving and she said "Do cum again. I'll know what to do next time" with a giggle.

As I drove home, greatly de-stressed, I congratulated myself for my part in initiating this pretty little thing angel into the work of pleasuring gentle-men of all sizes.

PS. The above is a slightly embellished IRL encounter from about 15 years ago - I'm not really that big, though she did think so.

Click to see who else is saying "MMMM!" this Monday!

ED Recovery? The Test Drive

 #F4TFriday

The time has come.

I've been trying a non-invasive method to treat my Erectile Dysfunction (2 year post prostate cancer radiotherapy treatment) for 3 months. As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, there has been a modicum of success with Viagra and cock-ring producing erections that just might be sufficient for coitus. So its time to try it out.

My lustless wife has had no desire for any form of intimacy for decades, so this is not for her. As for me, the days of aching urgent needs, dwindled over the years from daily, to weekly to monthly and the intensity subsided. But now there is no feeling of 'need' any more, just memories of 'that would be nice to have again'. As I face the possibility of widowhood in the next few years, it would be nice to know that I might have something to offer any future partner. Regrets? Sure, I've had a few!

But for now, all I have are some LOP 'buddies', that are understanding, willing and warm and intimate. My carer duties have become almost full time, so the best I can manage is to extend a shopping trip by an hour.

I finally manage to arrange a time. Miss C welcomes me warmly, despite it being 12 months since our last encounter. She reassures me that my situation is not uncommon. Being a middle aged SW, she has quite a number of older clients with post-prostate treatment conditions, including implanted pumps, rods, cock-rings and caverject injections.

As we snuggle up for a kiss and cuddle, a relaxing warmth enfolds me. How nice is that primal need for the intimate touch of another human body. C wriggles in closer, worming her cleft over my modest erection. She assures me that it is stiff enough and its hotness is as good as ever. I don't feel anything especially arousing, just part of the overall warmth of intimacy. I do however feel C's wetness and her own increasing need as she works her clit over me.

Its time I satisfied her needs. I slide down her body and let the old tongue-engine loose on her lady bits. Well at least my tongue is still in excellent working order and all the old sensations are still good.

After she had come down from her orgasm, she asks if I am ready to enter her. She tells me she needs to feel filled. I warn her that condoms decrease sensitivity even more and I'm not sure I can even penetrate. She suggests we try a super-thin non-latex condom and give it a go.

As I slide in, there is relief that my erection has passed the test. Even though there is no feeling of arousal, it is warm and nice to feel the ultimate of human intimacy. But orgasm for me just isn't on the radar.

Sadly our time all too soon comes to an end. As we chat, shower and dress, I tell C that I came expecting that this might be my last time. But I thank her that she has reassured me that there is some sort of future for limited intimacy.

Thank God for these wonderful Ladies Of Pleasure that give men like me, some warmth and intimacy in the autumn of our life.

PS. My visit to Miss C used my last Viagra script, and its still a month or so to the Dr's appointment. So its been a couple of weeks with no daily Viagra. Sadly, even with cock-ring, there is no hint of erection and zero sensation. So whilst my 'treatment' has enabled an erection sufficient for coitus as needed, there appears to have been no  'healing' for long-term improvement. However, I shall continue my 'treatment' for another 6 months and see.

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DFF - Deep French Fucking

A couple of things came to me recently that lead to this post.  A national paper's 'Lifestyle' blog had an article on the perennial issue of why women don't/can't orgasm with vaginal sex.  Then there is that bland term "penetrative sex" - the sex-blog world talks lots about the peripheral, preliminaries (bondage, spanking, cunnilingus, fellatio, etc), but the "final" sex act is somewhat of an anti-climax, although it is supposed to be THE Climax!

Then I had another encounter with "Special K" - we hadn't seen each other for 10-11 months, but in the past year we have become regular 'buddies'.  Her technique for "penetrative sex" is something to blog about.  Of the hundred or two ladies with whom I have had the pleasure of their 'company' (and these being 'professional' sex workers at that), I would venture that barely a half dozen have mastered this technique.

Sure there are various positions, 'cow girl', reverse cow girl, 'doggy', missionary, etc, that spice up the main event.  But I am talking about something more.  In struggling to work out how to describe this pleasure, the nearest analogy I could come up with is comparing the "simple kiss" with Deep French Kissing (DFK).  Thus I settled on "Deep French Fucking".

I have written before about the "dry root", or "non-sex", AKA "outer sex".  If we extrapolate that technique and imagine your lady "Deep French Kissing" your cock with her vulva, you start to get the 'feel' of it.  The primary drive is stimulation of her clitoris.  From her perspective, the key is the use of her pelvic muscles. The most sensitive parts of our genitals are her clitoris and vulva, and the head/tip of his penis.  K has a particular 'move' whereby she 'nibbles' or 'kisses' the head of my cock with the mouth of her vagina, using her muscle control - awesome.

There is a lot of pelvic action, more so by your lady, using both the front and back sides of your cock as well as your knob, rubbing every ridge, and exploring every wet slippery fold of her clitoris and labia majora & minor with the occasional foray into the inner sanctum.  As well as in/out, there will be back & forth, left/right, and rotating/twisting actions.

In some sense, DFF is driven by the lady, but the gentleman should be able to judge which moves are most pleasurable to you both, and use his cock to caress both the outer folds of her vulva as well as inside with a variety of moves.

Couple the above with a whole-of-body embrace, skin-on-skin stimulation and actual Deep French Kissing, you have optimised the chances for your lady to achieve that big "O" during "vaginal sex".

In comparison, doesn't "penetrative sex" sound so bland.  Surely this is why our boys seem to think that sex is only all about in-and-out "pumping" till he has his climax.

I am reminded of the story about the young prince getting married. He asked his father, the King for advice. "Its quite simple" said The King.  On your wedding night, your wife will say, 'I offer my honour', to which you will reply, 'I honour your offer'. Then its just a matter of honour and offer, honour and offer...".

Poor prince, so much to learn.  I'm just sorry that I am just discovering these things in my silver-haired years. Better late than never though. I just hope I can contribute my little bit to sex education to a younger generation.