Thursday 24 February 2022

Limited Edition

My local pleasure palace is called "Spoilers". So for my 15th anniversary of enjoying the company of their Ladies Of Pleasure, I dug out my old screen printing equipment and printed myself a Limited Edition pair of celebratory jocks.

Sadly I don't think I can keep it up for another 15 years.



Wednesday 16 February 2022

Elust #146 - The Clitoral 'Erection'

 (This post reproduced per the conditions of acceptance of a post link for publication.

NOTE: All comments next to each link are my own, and I apologize in advance to any contributor if I have unwittingly misconstrued your writing. These comments are per. the Elust editor's competition challenge rule #5.)

Image courtesy of Sara Bella

Image courtesy of Mistress Luna.
Image courtesy of Sara Bella.

Welcome to Elust 145.

Elust is the only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #147? Start with the rules, and submit a post any time and it will be added to the next edition. Please enter your email address in the sidebar widget on Elust to subcribe to email updates!  

Erotic Fiction

The Baker’s Wife - Tabitha Rayne is rescuing stories from  her books that are no longer available due to publisher closing their doors. Reappearing as a collection as "Almost Pulped". This baker's wife "needs to be kneaded"!
Droit de Seigneur 27 - The Lords Right! "Yvain stared at the man she had married, before she was brought to the castle for the Seigneur to take her virginities."
Strangers on a Commute - My commutes home from work were never this good!
Precious Juice - A warning to all guys, "You cannot masturbate as much as girls do. Oh no! It's gonna be soon a dry river between your legs". Horror the thought!

Erotic Non Fiction

CUCKADOODLEDO! - 'Mistress Victory' recounts a phone-sex erotic BDSM encounter.
My New Strap On - The Barefoot Sub recounts her task for Sir, using a new strap-on (her first) on playmate Pink.
Cuckold Husband in Chastity Buys His Wife a Pearl Necklace - Oz BigDownUnder, services Mr Cuckold Husband and Mrs Hotty Hotwife in Dubbai.
Hands - Joy recounts "For as long as I can remember hands have been my favourite part of the male body: knuckles, fingers, palms, a glimpse of that little bone at the wrist peeking out from under a shirt cuff, just all of it."
My Bukkake Events are Back! - With easing of Covid restrictions, Sandra is back (with Oz) organising Bukkake Events (London, UK).
New Slave into Ballbusting and Small Dick Humiliation - Milady Goddess, introduces a new slave to her world of BDSM - ouch!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

6 Sustainable Tips For an Eco-friendly Sex Life - I hadn't really given this a thought before. Eco condoms, glass dildos instead of silicone/rubber, plastic free packaging, long wearing environmental friendly clothes (no nylon lingerie), organic lube, and rechargeable batteries in your toys. Great thoughts Ella!
What Type of Vibrator is Right For You? - I was a bit worried at first that this was a chick only post, then I got to the 'penis vibrator' - yah!
The Power of a Kiss - I'm like Tomi, the deep french kiss is such a turn-on. It has surprised me, as Tomi touches on, that there are people that aren't into kissing, and there are so many types of kissing in the spectrum.
Bookmarking: a strategy for prioritizing intimacy - 'Bookmarking'? What can that have to do with Lust? But of course Bridget weaves it in beautifully - balancing work/life/sex is something we all have to grapple with and prioritizing is so important. And Bridget's idea of learning to say 'pause it there' (bookmark that), so that you can 'resume' at a more appropriate time, is great. I gives a new perspective on 'coitus interruptus'!

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

A Goddess to Tease You Into Her Trap - Sakura's Domme Views - some Q&As on her fetishes.

Body Talk

H is for Hair Down There and Everywhere, Still Don’t Care - 'Sans cheveaux' or 'Hair sweet'?
The Clitoral 'Erection' - If only men understood women's anatomy better and learned to play her 'clitoral' instrument. Why can't men make love like a woman?

Writing about writing

Episodic - The issue with episodic writing (as distinct from writing a whole book) is that each episode must have a certain degree of completeness, without too many hanging questions that might not be answered till the very end of the book (or last episode).
Write the Erotica You Want to See In the World - "It can be just pure escapist drivel, too. All good art is allowed to have its escapist, check-out, dissociative, frivolous forms". "But it can also be radical. The erotica I love is gender affirming."

Sex-Work

Advice For When Booking an Independent Escort - From an escort to potential clients. Research before booking, communicate, be respectful of boundaries, privacy, time, paying and cleanliness.
How To Be Anonymous in the Adult Industry 2022 - Workers in the Adult Industry are under attack from both ends, from creepy, stalker 'clients', to oppressive moralistic laws posing as "protecting minors", to economic denial of 'sex work is still work' by denying access to basic banking facilities. Anonymity helps, but brings its own issues of being scammed and having work work stolen. 

Elust 145

Monday 7 February 2022

The Unholy Trinity

"Write Big Sexy Words" for February 2022
salacious, dalliance, cosset, frisky, intimacy, covet, wanton, idolatry, supplicate

I covet covert copulation
With a wickedly wanton wench.
A dalliance of delightful decadence
To cosset connubial consent,
For frantic frisky fornication
And sublime salacious supplication
For intrinsic inane intimacy.
Adultery, idolatry, frivolity,
The unholy trinity, content!

The Best Unholy Trinity Quotes
WBSW

The Clitoral 'Erection'

"WTF are you talking about Thomas? A 'Clitoral Erection'? Guys have erections - we all know about that and seen them. But a 'clit' is just the size of a pea, isn't it? How can a clit have an 'erection'?"

A Good Erection requires Perfect Alignment
of the Nuts and Bolts. ©tmurphyphotos

Some Anatomical Facts of Embryonic Development

Before c.2017, medical research of fetal development of the cavernosa was almost exclusively about penis development. In 2018, Baskin et al published "Development of the Human Penis and Clitoris".

This "VeryWell Mind" web-site  gives a good simplified introductory overview.

  1. The first 2 weeks after conception are the Germinal stage, up to when the multiplying cluster of cells implants in the uterine wall.
  2. Then comes the Embryonic stage; the cluster of cells have already differentiated into three layers. At about 4 weeks, the neural tube forms which will develop into the brain and nervous systems; the head is forming and the small cluster of cells that will become the heart start to pulse. By week 5, buds form that will become arms and legs, and internally, the circulatory system is forming. Specific to this post is the formation of a couple of very specific blood vessels, the 'corpus cavernosa' (note: there are two 'cavernosum'). These differ from arterial and venous vessels, in that they are full of a spongy cellular structure that swells as they fill with blood. These are the basis of the formation of the genitals. Note that at this stage, the embryo is still physically asexual. (Some researchers have claimed that all fetuses up to differentiation, are 'female', but personally I think 'asexual' better describes them).
  3. At around 6 weeks, it is in the Fetal stage. Around 14 weeks, the 'differentiation' process starts when gender specific organs develop. Specifically, in the male, the cavernosa become sheathed in skin which will become the penis. In the female, the cavernosa form the clitoral structure which becomes the base on which the labia grow to form the vulva. The full clitoral structure is shaped like a 'wish bone'; the 'head' of the clitorus is the female equivalent of the male's penis glans, and is the only part of the clitoral structure externally visible. The urethra passes between the two cavernosa 'legs' of the clitoris and the ends of the cavernosa form the entrance of the vagina, the 'G-spot'.

Anatomical Ability of a Clitoral Erection

So you can see that the female anatomy has an analogous internal structure to the penis, and thus is capable of an equivalent 'erection', even though shorter (average about 4"/10cm) than the average penis. Sure, the word 'erection' implies a structure arising (externally). So whilst the female cavernosa fill with blood and swell and harden like a penis, it is all internal, so technically not an 'erection' by the strictest definition of the word. 'HealthLine' has a good recent article on the subject, "14 Things to Know About Clitoral Erections".

So What Does a Clitoral 'Erection' Look Like. 

The head of the clit, it's glans, can swell and harden. The vulva swells slightly and the labia (lips) become full. The inner labia (minora) push out through the outer labia (majora). The labia become flushed (vive la chatte rouge). Some have described it as looking like a flower blossom opening. The bottom end of the labia spread the vaginal opening. Some have described it like the labia are whispering "Avanti! (Come in!)".

The Female Perspective - Some Questions

I won't presume to write about something that I've only observed a couple of times, and I'm relying on anecdotal descriptions and the little there is in the literature. But what I would really like is to get some feedback from my female readers (use the comments or write your own blog response). Are you aware of the ability of your clitoris to have an erectile type response? Apart from the outward visible engorgement/swelling of the clitoral head/glans, have you experienced full vulva engorgement, including 'blossoming' of the labia and 'gaping' vagina? Does arousal of your G-spot send feelings up the full length of your clitoral structure?

The Epidemic of (Sexually) Uneducated Males

Even medical web-sites like 'Healthline - Human Body Systems' describe the penis in detail under "Reproductive System (Male)", but "Reproductive System (Female)" only discusses the vagina (and uterus and Fallopian tubes); the vulva and clitoris are totally ignored. As long as sexual education only focuses on reproduction and not on sexual arousal, will the 'orgasm gap' continue!

The "orgasm gap" is well known, but the truth of the cause is not well understood. Men complain about their wives losing interest is sex, as if it's the wife's fault, when in fact it is the male's fault in that he never learned to arouse his wife, to give her any clitoral erections and orgasms. So often women have to satisfy themselves. Is it any wonder that some women turn to other female company, either 'bi' or lesbian, because a woman knows how another woman can be aroused - "Why can't a man love more like a woman?"

If only men were taught that women have an organ just like their penis and can have 'erections' just like them. Men need to learn to watch and learn from how women arouse themselves, massaging their clitoris head and their labia and vulva. Of course, another person can arouse in a way that a woman alone can't - the tongue!

NOTE TO ALL MEN - a women's sexual centre is NOT the vagina. From their teens, men learn that sex is all about their penis, its erection and orgasm, then when they start fucking women, it is still about their penis ejaculating into a vagina.

Do Dildos Perpetuate the Penis Preeminence Myth?

The promotion of dildos to women, I suspect is due to male owned sex toy manufacturers. When I read more honest women's reviews of dildo use, I hear women saying that with dildo-in-vagina they still don't reach orgasm. Is it any wonder that at least there is a move to clitoral stimulation 'toys'.

Outercourse vs Intercourse

One work-around is 'outercourse' where his penis and her vulva rub against and arouse each other. But in typical male fashion, he knows it as a "pussy slide", something that the woman does to him to arouse him. It was only recently that I read a woman's take, calling it a penis massaging her vulva. Perhaps its all about who's on top, "in the drivers seat"! (Of course the penis can be replaced with another vulva for intimate massaging.)

From this position, once both have been equally aroused, and her 'erection' is calling "Avanti", then it is a simple slide into coitus.

Good Sex is a Shared Experience - She Comes First

The number one rule of good sex is that he delays his gratification, focusing on her arousal with extended fore-play, until "She comes first!".


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