Sextreme Sport - The Ride

Sometimes or perhaps usually, memories of the ordinary, day-to-day things don't rise up to reminiscences. It's the unusual, out of the ordinary things that have some special 'trigger' that brings reminiscences to the fore.

Personally, sex wise, I am a vanilla, cuddly type. Cunnilingus is the closest I come to 'kink'. Whilst the encounter I describe below was extreme for me, for others you might think, "What's so unusual about that!". But as a sexygenarian at the time (8 years ago), I was starting to slow down to retirement, but still trying to explore experiences that I never got to experience in my up-tight younger years.

The Lady in Question

The lady in question working as 'Cristal', had been an average suburban sex worker, dissatisfied with her future prospects, decided to rebrand herself and move into the 'private' world. You notice that I didn't use the word 'escort'. With new breast implants, dyed pink hair and web-site and social media launch as 'Hot Babe', "the filthiest, dirtiest English slapper you will ever stick your cock in", "I am a wild, nasty, shameless, hardcore whore", "I specialize in XXX Pornstar Action, deep throat like you've never seen, all the way down your gullet, drenching your bedroom in fountains of squirt", she is not the sort of girl to take home to meet your mother or to take as an escort to a 5 star restaurant.

The Encounter

So I joined the long line of men waiting to take her on. I secured a week-day long-lunch booking, not too far from work.

At the agreed place and time, Cristal eventually comes in, cunningly disguised in an all-over tan and skimpy fluoro bikini that barely holds in her newly acquired FFs. After the obligatory preliminary shower, Cristal returns, and there is some "dancing" around each other, sizing each-other up - discovering each-other's delectations.  We move into a clinch and Cristal lifts her top and thrust her orbs into my face, saying "Wrap your tongue around these!".

There is writhing and squirming, jockeying for position till Cristal gains the upper hand and 'attacks' with tongue and mouth.  But despite being in the under-dog position, I pull her leg over and start giving that English pussy a good old Aussie licking.

She rolls off and pulls me up to a standing position in front of the mirror, then on her knees, I meet Deep Throat.  But I regain the upper hand, and push her back onto the bed, head over the edge for a face-fuck. I then pull her legs up over my shoulders for more lip-licking 69 whilst simultaneously 'pile-driving' deep down (up?) her throat.

But Cristal, showing her amazing flexibility, extricates herself, and standing, still in her 5" stillettos, with one leg shoulder high against the mirror in a vertical 'split', demands, "Well are you going to fuck this English pussy now?".  What follows, is a series of moves and positions that would do an Olympic gymnast justice. She throws pillows on the floor, pushes me down and proceeds to impale herself on me, both forward and reverse and a 'twister'.

But I regain control, and have Cristal spread-eagled on her back on the bed.  I crawl up the bed, pausing to apply more oral lubrication, before pinning her under me.  A DFK tongue battle ensures.  She lifts her legs high over my shoulders to achieve maximum penetration, and much pleading to The Almighty can be heard (definitely a 10 on my fuchter-scale).

As her shudders finally subside, I roll off, and she dives on my member to slake her thirst at my fountain of love.

Half exhausted, we both lie back for a cuddle and chat about love and marriage and internet BLOGS.

But its not long before she can feel a nudge in her crotch as Little Tom rises for more.  She swings round and licks and sucks some more, and I give her the two-finger salute.  Before long she is bucking again and reaches for another rubber and has barely got it on before the 'time up' buzzer sounds.  But do you think a buzzer is going to stop this Wicked Wench when she wants something ("its all about me!").  She is on board now and riding like a woman possessed, until in another body shuddering orgasm, she gets what she wants!  Her pussy has clamped tightly around me and I continue pumping as tremors continue to ripple through her body, till I explode too. (OMG, twice in an hour, its unheard of for the old fella).

Now, totally exhausted, we both fall back to catch our breath.  The buzzer goes a second time, and I slowly get up on wobbly legs.

The final score? A 2 all draw!

After Thoughts

Would I return? Probably not! But it is something that every man should try at least once. But with age and my latest issue of ED after prostate cancer treatment, I wouldn't be up to it.

Cristal has expanded her extreme repertoire. With up to 3 other like-minded 'sluts', she organizes "Wet & Wild" gang bangs, with sufficient men to ensure that all holes are constantly satisfied. She arrives with a wheelie case full of toys, plastic sheeting to protect floor and furniture, condoms by the gross, quart bottles of lube, and drinks and nibbles to sustain everyone's energy levels.

In writing a review at the time, I was inspired to write a parody verse from Banjo Paterson's "The Man From Snowy River". Then just last year, I was further inspired to update that with a full length parody, "The Ride - The Man From Yarra River". Whilst inspired by Cristal, it is a piece of fiction that does capture the feeling of "Sextreme Sport".

Reminiscences: Musings in Memoir — Prompt #3 "Ride"

A, B, C - (new) beginnings (#AtoZChallenge)

Let's start at the very beginning,

A very good place to start,

When you read you begin with A-B-C,

When you sing you begin with Doe-Ray-Me.

"Sound of Music"

It was over 30 years into a 'lustless' marriage, that my wife finally dropped the bombshell that "she didn't enjoy sex, and never had and didn't want it". But marriage is not just about the sex - there were lots of reasons to stay together, not the least being my increasing role as her carer with her medical condition. Needless to say though, it messed with my psyche with bouts of depression.

It was a lady at work that finally inspired me. She was a real go-getter, divorced, raising a teenage boy, building her own house, looking to start a new relationship. I learned to NOT let circumstances control my life and feelings, but to take responsibility for my own happiness. I realised that it wasn't just my wife's condition, but that I had all sorts issues from my own upbringing as well as societal mores that I had to re-evaluate.

So I finally took the plunge into transactional sex. Fortunately, here in Melbourne, Australia, the sex-work industry is legalized and regulated. It was an enormous learning experience for me. From simply getting used to various procedures and protocols of how brothels operate, to introducing and selecting ladies, negotiating the whole range of service offerings, learning about sexual techniques and positions that I had never experienced before, to finding, understanding and negotiating the whole client-lady 'relationship' issues. It was almost as bad as negotiating the whole dating scene.

But sexually, I was like a kid let loose in a lolly shop. So many ladies, so many experiences, so little time. OMG, is this what married life should have been like?

Health wise, my chronic depression lifted, though home-life was still heavy going. My 'outings' provided periodic boosts to get me through the following couple of weeks. It provided much needed respite. Who cares for the carer? What I've learnt is that the most important thing is to learn to care for yourself. To be a better lover/carer of someone else, love yourself as well.

Well I finally found a parlour, "The Main Course", a short tram ride from work, with a range of more mature ladies that I hit it off with. With a flexible work-place, I was able to get out for long 'lunches' once or twice a month. I ended up with about a dozen ladies whose company I enjoyed and would visit semi-regularly. My 'problem' became deciding who I should see next, to spread myself evenly amongst them. I came up with my "A-B-C" system - April, Bianca, Cristal, etc... My visits were now alphabetical, so I got to visit each of my dozen 'regulars' once or twice a year.

Another major learning experience, was about relationships. During numerous pillow talks, I got to learn a lot about and appreciate all the different experiences and relationships that got these ladies to this point. Most importantly, relationships must be equally two-way. There is no place for 'ownership' or 'possessiveness'. Years earlier, in our marriage vows, we did not 'take' each other, but 'gave' ourselves to each other. I had a short booty-buddy 'relationship' with one lady when she left the brothel. But when the time came that she found a proper boy-friend, I was happy to step aside and happy for her happiness.

"Vive ut vivas" (Live life to the fullest). "Ancora Imparo" (Still Learning).

 

Click to see who else is taking the challenge. 

The Ride - The Man From Yarra River

(An Australian classic recrafted #literotica

with apologies to 'Banjo' Paterson, "The Man from Snowy River"
public domain since 1991)
Content Warning! Contains sexually explicit graphic descriptions.

 

There was movement on the forums, for the word had passed around
That the MILF from "Butterflys" had got away,
And had joined the Wild Ladies - she was worth a thousand pound,
So all the studs had gathered to the fray.
All the tried and noted punters from the brothels near and far
Had mustered at "The G" o'night,
For the punters love hard riding where the Wild Ladies are,
And Sir Thomas sniffs their perfume with delight.

There was Stiffy, who made his name, when FIA ruled the net,
The old man with hair as white as cum;
But few could fuck beside him when his blood was fairly up -
He would go where ever whore and man could go.
And Randy of the Overblow came down to lend a hand,
No better fluffer ever held a cock;
For never whore could throw him while the bed-springs still held up,
He learnt to fuck while still a lad at school.

And one was there, a callow youth on a skinny, small-breasted whore,
He was something like a sprinter undersized,
With a touch of 'tuckey pony - three parts thoroughbred -
And such as are by Melbourne Ladies prized.
He was hard and tough and horny- just the sort that won't say die -
There was courage in his quick impatient thrusts;
And he bore the badge of lust in his bright and fiery eye,
And the proud and lofty carriage of his cock.

But still so youthfully skinny, one would doubt his power to stay,
And the old man said "That whore will never do
"For a long and tiring fuck - lad you'd better stay away,
"Those thighs are far too rough for such as you".
So he waited sad and wistful - only Randy stood his friend,
"I think we ought to let him cum" he said;
"I warrant he'll be with us when he's cumming at the end,
"For both his whore and he are mountain bred".

"He hails from Yarra River, up by 'Buang's side,
"Where the whores are half as cheap and twice as rough,
"Where a horse's hoof strikes fear from every furtive glance,
"The man that holds his own is good enough,
"And the Yarra River riders in the Gully make their home,
"Where the linctus runs those giant thighs between;
"I have seen full many punters since I first commenced to play,
"But nowhere yet such fuckers have I seen".

So he went — they found the Ladies atop the fucking bed —
They were faced the headboard with arses in the air,
And the old man gave his orders,
'Boys, go at them from the jump, no use to try for fancy riding now. 
And, Randy, you must whip them, try and wheal them on the rump. 
Ride boldly, lad, and never fear the spills, 
For never yet was punter that could keep these Ladies tight, 
If once you breach the sphincter of those cunts.' 

So Randy whipped and whealed them — he was racing on the wing 
Where the best and boldest floggers take their place, 
And he raised his flogger o'er them, and made their arses sting 
With the 9tails, as he met them face to face. 
Then he halted for a moment, while he dropped the dreaded lash, 
And they saw his swollen donger full in view, 
And they charged beneath his torso with a sharp and sudden dash, 
And licked and sucked his member to the hilt. 

Then fast the punters followed, where the gorges deep and red
Resounded to the slapping of their thrusts, 
In the gangbang wild and wet, they queued 
To lick and suck and fuck. 
And upward, ever upward, Wild Ladies held their way, 
Where fountains of squirt, high and wide were sprayed; 
And the old man muttered fiercely, 'We may bid the Ladies good day,
NO man can hold them down all this day.' 

When they reached the 'gasm's summit, even Randy took a pull,
It well might make the boldest hold his breath, 
The hairy twats grew thickly, and the hidden flesh was full 
Of fucking holes, and slick and swollen clits. 
But the man from Yarra River let his Lady have her head, 
And he swung his flogger round and gave a cheer, 
And he raced her down the climax like a torrent flood the bed, 
While the others stood and watched in very awe. 

He sent the linctus flying, but the Lady kept her head, 
He cleared the convulsing body in his stride, 
And the man from Yarra River never eased off in his thrusts — 
It was grand to see that mountain fucker ride. 
Through weary legs and bodies, on the rough and broken bed, 
Through the slippery spreading labia, at a racing pace he went; 
And he never drew a breath till he landed safe and sound, 
At the bottom of that hot and luscious descent. 

He was right among the Ladies as they 'roused a second time, 
And the watchers on the sidelines standing mute, 
Saw him ply his tongue so fiercely, a clit to raise the thrill, 
As he traced across the labia in hot pursuit. 
Then they lost him for a moment, 
Where two luscious labia meet 
'Mongst the tangled legs and bodies, the Wild Ladies panting yet, 
With the man from Yarra River mounted still. 

And down by 'Buang's gullies, where the rugged Ladies 'cline, 
Their tired and weary bodies to recoup, 
Where the air is musky scented, and the milky breasts do shine 
At midday in the warm and mellow air,
Where 'round the O'blow spillway, the river flows away 
To the billabongs and plains, toward Melbourne as it runs, 
The man from Yarra River is a household word to-day, 
And punters tell the story of his ride.

---xxxxXxxxx---

PS. Feb.5th

Now, do yourself a favour and read or listen to Paterson's original.

This iconic bush-ballad, beautifully captures the excitement of high-country horsemen rounding up wild brumbies.  I just hope my poor parody achieves even half that adrenaline pumping excitement.

Then try and find a copy of the movie of the same name, starring Tom Burlinson as Jim, The Man From Snowy River, with Kirk Douglas, Jack Thompson and Ingrid Thornton. If not the full movie, at least watch the YouTube clip of Jim's amazing down-hill ride - no CGI or special effects here - brilliant scenery, riding and cinematography.

To All the Girls I've Loved Before - Thank You

I see from my diary, that its been 10 years since my sexual liberation, so in the words of Hal David, sung variously by Willy Nelson, Julio and Englebert, I want to say 'Thank You' to "All the girls I've loved before".

 

I won't repeat my history that lead to that liberation - it was covered in 'Was the last-time, the LAST Time?'.  Sadly I confess that in that 35 years I had never had or received oral sex, nor had my lady ever orgasmed. 

It was in that time of depression that I 'saw the light', that I had to take responsibility for my own happiness, emotional and physical needs. Not wishing to leave the marriage, I turned to professional help - commercial sex.

I am fortunate to live in a state and country where commercial sex is legal and regulated. So in the past 10 years I have learnt and experienced many aspects of this 'service' industry.

 
There have been 1 or 2 'star-fishes' who obviously didn't want to be there, that provide a receptacle rather than a service. 

 
There have been those that seemed quite inexperienced and nervous. There have been some that really tried to provide a good service, but there has been no 'connection'.  Can there really be a 'connection' between a sex worker and client?

I will digress slightly at this point to thank a Punter Review web forum.  This particular site encourages ladies to join in general conversations and is well moderated.  It was here that I learnt how best to choose a lady from the introductions, that might best suit my needs.  Reviews from other punters also provided recommendations and service descriptions.  So I quickly found myself enjoying the company of a number of special ladies, that I dedicate this post to.

I quickly developed skills in cunnilingus with guidance from some of my ladies. For the first time I experienced ladies that really wanted/needed sex themselves - yes, there are ladies in the sex industry that are not there just for the money, but because of their own high sex-drive needs. For the first time I experienced ladies' orgasms in all their wonderful varieties - O-O-O-OMG. Then to top this off, I found my first squirter. To all these wonderful ladies, "Thank You"!

So despite the danger of overlooking someone, here is my "Honor Roll" in roughly chronological order:-

• First off, thanks to Kelly who popped my punting cherry. Tho in hindsight, not great sex, she was a very gentle, kind lady that guided me for an enjoyable first time commercially. I almost felt like a virgin being introduced to sex for the first time. I needed it.
• Daniella was a dark horse, passed over at our first introduction, but next time I discovered a highly sexed, passionate women whose company I enjoyed over eight years. It was she who taught me the joys of DATY and nick-named me 'Thomas the Tongue Engine'. I have written about our times together three times on this blog - 'Maid in Morocco', 'That Smile' and 'A Bad Habit'.
• Megan introduced me to CIMS, snow-balling and the taste of cum. But more importantly, Megan took me out of the time-constrained commercial environment, to Booty-Buddy visits at home, of 'Breakfast with Benefits', and coping with a Buddy relationship coming to an end.
• Sandy was a hot New Zealand blonde, with whom I discovered the difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms.
• April was probably the first 'screamer' I encountered, and my head in a scissor lock whilst she convulsed, won't be forgotten. And I sustained the first and only 'punch' in the nose in my whole life (from a convulsing pubic bone). If the end-of-the world was at hand, I couldn't think of a nicer lady to go out with a bang with.
• Cristal HotBabe ('The Wicked Wench of Wupert Street') was a once off PSE that you've got to try once in a life-time. It was wild, almost gymnastic with some positions I've never seen or heard of before or since.
• Kaz is an all round lovely lady - great body, good conversationalist, great kisser and great sex. I discovered that ladies that have mastered kegal muscle control can add an amazing dimension to sex - I quipped that she does 'DFF'. Also 'Munching on Special-K'.
• Grace introduced me to humour and laughter during sex. Wow, cumming and laughing at the same time is an experience. Yes, sex should be fun.
• Amber is one of those sex machines with a voracious appetite, and a very nice lady to boot.
• Ruby is an incredibly passionate lady, a great kisser and very orgasmic. I swear her prominent nipples are wired to her clit. A keen lover of cunnilingus, I was rewarded by her squirting, again and again and again. Awesome.

To these ladies and all my other companions, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!

Lucky Tom Dedicates His Song

"To all the girls I've loved beforeWho travelled in and out my doorI'm glad they came alongI dedicate this songTo all the girls I've loved before."

My local bordello has a weekly Lucky Door Prize raffle draw and this week my number came up - first prize a free session with the lady of my choice.  It was only the previous Monday that I had seen my current regular, G, and here it was just 7 days later, I was having an awesome time with G again.  I got thinking about my "luck" and the great times I have with G, then of all the other great times with all my other great ladies, that made me think of the above song - thanks Willie Nelson for expressing so beautifully, my gratitude.

Sadly, it wasn't always so.  It wasn't until my late 50's that I came to my senses. I was getting quite depressed, but it was a lady at work that opened my mind. She was a single mother, coping with a teenage son, she had managed the construction of her own house - a real "go getter".  I learned from her that one has to take responsibility for your own happiness.  Sure, there were reasons for my wife's zero libido - abusive father, injury, illness, medication, etc.  But whether I let life's misfortune make me unhappy, or whether I made my own happiness, was my choice. As the old saying goes, "When life dishes up lemons, make lemonade".

And so it was that I took the plunge with the oldest professional help. There was a lot of misapprehension and soul searching, having all the misinformed view of prostitution promulgated by the do-gooder press. I was so lucky with my first Lady Of Pleasure - I could not have met a nicer lady that put all my misconceptions to rest.

And the rest is history, so to say. I have had good times, great times and some awesome times - "so this is what marriage was supposed to have been like?".  My ladies have taught me a lot.  The greatest driver of great sex is what goes on between the ears. Its about R.E.S.P.E.C.T.  Its about compatible senses of humour. Its about unselfishness, of wanting to please/pleasure each other. With ongoing times together comes communication and trust.

So here is to:- 

• G (Amazing Grace with the luscious labia to dream of), 
• D ("The Body" builder with an occasional bad habit and my first GILF),  
• V ("11"), C (the Maltese terrier), 
• A (too much of a nympho for my own good),   
• T/M (booty buddy),  
• C1 (the Wicked Wench - wild, but once was enough) and 
• K (Special Krazy).  

And to all the others - thank you.

-----

OMG  The news of the Boston bombing just flashed across my screen!  When will the world ever learn to "make love, not war"!

The Wicked Wench of Wupert Stweet

"There was movement on the forums, for the word had passed around
That the MILF from "Butterflies" had got away,
And had joined the Wild Ladies - she was worth a thousand pound,
So all the cracks had gathered to the fray.
All the tried and noted punters from the brothels near and far
Had mustered at "The G" overnight,
For the punters love hard riding where the Wild Ladies are,
And Sir Thomas snuffs the battle with delight."

(with apologies to ABP)

(Edit Jan.2019 - Since Cristal first inspired the above parody verse, I have finally completed a full length piece, titled The Rider.)
---

From all reports this young blond filly of ample assets with her butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" English Rose looks and seductive accent, continues to seduce the men of Melbtropolis. Despite her "Hot Babe" tag, this is really the "Wicked Wench of Wupert Stweet".  

Its time she got a good licking - this is a job for "Super Tongue" ("I've eaten more pussies than Sunday roasts!").

Meanwhile, in the grey canyons of the business district of Melbtropolis, mild mannered business analyst Sir Thomas, slips out for an early long lunch.  He boards his trusty #109 steed, flashing his Seniors Card at the ticket inspector, and heads on down to "The G".

Cristal ("The Wench") was busy as usual.  ST had rung the day before to ensure he got a lunch-time booking, but only 1:15 was available. But even now, she is running 15 minutes late.  He settles in the waiting room with just women's daytime TV and a NW magazine for company (not even a 'Ralph' - wtf)!

Cristal eventually comes in, cunningly disguised in an all-over tan and skimpy fluoro bikini that barely holds in her newly acquired puppies.

Up in the room, Sir Thomas slips into the shower cubical and steps out as "Super Tongue"!  

On Cristal's return, there is some "dancing" around each other, sizing each-other up - discovering each-other's delectations.  They move into a clinch and Cristal lifts her top and thrust her orbs into his face, "Wrap your tongue around these!" ST thinks, "I'm supposed to be giving her the 'licking'. She shouldn't be demanding it!"

There is writhing and squirming, jockeying for position till Cristal gains the upper hand and is attacking ST with her tongue and mouth. But ST, despite being in the under-dog position pulls her leg over and starts giving that English pussy a good old Aussie licking.

She rolls off and pulls him up to a standing position in front of the mirror, then on her knees, ST meets DT (Deep Throat).  But ST regains the upper hand, and pushes her back onto the bed, head over the edge and continues the face-fuck, then pulls her legs up over his shoulders for more lip-licking 69 (is there even a name for this position?)

But Cristal, showing her amazing flexibility, extricates herself, and standing, still in her stillettos, with one leg shoulder high against the mirror, demands, "Well are you going to fuck this English pussy now?"  What follows, is a series of moves and positions that would do the Australian Ballet justice, before Cristal throws ST to the floor onto a pillow and proceeds to impale herself on him, both forward and reverse cow-girl.

But ST regains control, and has Cristal spread-eagled on her back on the bed.  He crawls up the bed, pausing to apply more oral lubrication, before pinning her under him.  A DFK tongue battle ensures.  She lifts her legs high over his shoulders to achieve maximum penetration, and much pleading to The Almightly can be heard.

As her shudders finally subside, ST rolls off, and she dives on his member to slake her thirst at the fountain of love.

Half exhausted, they both lie back for a cuddle and chat about love and marriage and internet forums.

But its not long before she can feel a nudge in her crotch as ST rises for more. She swings round and licks and sucks some more, and ST gives her the two-finger salute.  Before long she is bucking again and reaches for another rubber and has barely got it on before the buzzer sounds. But do you think a buzzer is going to stop this Wicked Wench when she wants something ("its all about me!"). She is on board now and riding like a woman possessed, until in another body shuddering orgasm, she gets what she wants! Her pussy has clamped tightly around ST who continues pumping as tremors continue to ripple through her body, till he explodes too. (OMG, twice in an hour, its unheard of for the old fella).

Now, totally exhausted, they both fall back to catch their breath. The buzzer goes a second time, and ST slowly gets up then gingerly stands on wobbly legs. He showers and slips back into his disguise as mild-mannered Sir Thomas.

The final score? A 2 all draw!
---

As Sir Thomas settles back in the 109 to catch his breath and wait for some strength to return to his knees, he wonders:

"Who was that woman?  Was that really the 'Wicked Wench', or was it in fact 'Wonder Woman' stripped bare?"

And so Sir Thomas slips back into work a bit after 3pm (it was an extra long "Lunch") - little do the juniors realise that The Old Man (TOM) is in fact the fearless defender of Twuth, Justice and the Punters’ Way!

As TOM settles down at his desk, there is a stirring in his loins - Oh no! Is it the delicious memory, or the remnants of vitamin V, or ... no, it couldn't be ... not "Cristallization"?  He licks his lips and wiggles his tongue - no, thank goodness - "Super Tongue" is safe for another day!
------------------------------------------------------------------
PS. Apart from some literary license, no facts were harmed in the production of this review.  Everything else should be taken with a grain of Cialis and was written with tongue firmly in pussy.  All allusions, alliterations and aspersions are altogether intentional.