A, B, C - (new) beginnings (#AtoZChallenge)

Let's start at the very beginning,

A very good place to start,

When you read you begin with A-B-C,

When you sing you begin with Doe-Ray-Me.

"Sound of Music"

It was over 30 years into a 'lustless' marriage, that my wife finally dropped the bombshell that "she didn't enjoy sex, and never had and didn't want it". But marriage is not just about the sex - there were lots of reasons to stay together, not the least being my increasing role as her carer with her medical condition. Needless to say though, it messed with my psyche with bouts of depression.

It was a lady at work that finally inspired me. She was a real go-getter, divorced, raising a teenage boy, building her own house, looking to start a new relationship. I learned to NOT let circumstances control my life and feelings, but to take responsibility for my own happiness. I realised that it wasn't just my wife's condition, but that I had all sorts issues from my own upbringing as well as societal mores that I had to re-evaluate.

So I finally took the plunge into transactional sex. Fortunately, here in Melbourne, Australia, the sex-work industry is legalized and regulated. It was an enormous learning experience for me. From simply getting used to various procedures and protocols of how brothels operate, to introducing and selecting ladies, negotiating the whole range of service offerings, learning about sexual techniques and positions that I had never experienced before, to finding, understanding and negotiating the whole client-lady 'relationship' issues. It was almost as bad as negotiating the whole dating scene.

But sexually, I was like a kid let loose in a lolly shop. So many ladies, so many experiences, so little time. OMG, is this what married life should have been like?

Health wise, my chronic depression lifted, though home-life was still heavy going. My 'outings' provided periodic boosts to get me through the following couple of weeks. It provided much needed respite. Who cares for the carer? What I've learnt is that the most important thing is to learn to care for yourself. To be a better lover/carer of someone else, love yourself as well.

Well I finally found a parlour, "The Main Course", a short tram ride from work, with a range of more mature ladies that I hit it off with. With a flexible work-place, I was able to get out for long 'lunches' once or twice a month. I ended up with about a dozen ladies whose company I enjoyed and would visit semi-regularly. My 'problem' became deciding who I should see next, to spread myself evenly amongst them. I came up with my "A-B-C" system - April, Bianca, Cristal, etc... My visits were now alphabetical, so I got to visit each of my dozen 'regulars' once or twice a year.

Another major learning experience, was about relationships. During numerous pillow talks, I got to learn a lot about and appreciate all the different experiences and relationships that got these ladies to this point. Most importantly, relationships must be equally two-way. There is no place for 'ownership' or 'possessiveness'. Years earlier, in our marriage vows, we did not 'take' each other, but 'gave' ourselves to each other. I had a short booty-buddy 'relationship' with one lady when she left the brothel. But when the time came that she found a proper boy-friend, I was happy to step aside and happy for her happiness.

"Vive ut vivas" (Live life to the fullest). "Ancora Imparo" (Still Learning).

 

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