Au Naturale? Oui? Non?

Let me say right up front, that this post is not meant to be "preachy".  Whilst I normally practice "safe sex", there have been the occasional times with one or two of my very special regular ladies, when we have got a bit "carried away" in the passion of the moment, and I have no regrets about that.

But I do want to high-light the realities of STDs, but in a balanced "risk" based assessment.

An Historical Perspective

First up, STD are not a new thing (though the deadly HIV virus is relatively new). During the two world-wars, military hospitals treated more VD (as it was known then) cases than battle injuries.  In OZ immediately after WW-I there was an epidemic of syphilis.  Returned servicemen picked up the "clap" in the brothels of Egypt, Palestine and France, returned home and infected their wives and subsequently their new-born children.  It is estimated that around 1920, 10% of Australian babies were born with syphilitic conditions.  This STD epidemic did not get publicity because, (a) such things were not discussed, and (b) it was over-shadowed by the influenza pandemic.

WW-II brought penicillin and other antibiotics and VD became a "mild", treatable annoyance.

Now I won't pursue the historical line, but rather I want to focus on the epidemiology of the situation.  We are talking about contagious diseases spread through inter-personal (sexual) contact.

WHO - The Risk Network

Epidemiologists talk about the "Risk Network" of who has had contact with who. In this case, who have your partners had sex with and who have your partner's partners had sex with, etc.  It is the "six degrees of separation" scenario.  The following diagram from the California Department of Health Services maps the sexual inter-relationship network at a college in Colorado Springs where an outbreak of gonorrhea occurred in the 1980s'.

The majority of students only had 1 or 2 partners, but you can clearly see that there are about 5 individuals who were highly sexually active and most students were only 2 or 3 couplings away from these focii of infection.

HOW - Mechanisms of Contagion

The next aspect of epidemiology is the mechanism of infection.  With STDs, we are talking about blood-born viruses so infection is essentially through blood-blood contact.  Thus shared syringes and open wounds are the highest risks.  But the lining of the vagina, penis and urethra have millions of blood capillaries very close to the surface of the skin and trans-cutaneous (through the skin) infection is highly likely.  The viral load in saliva is effectively non-existent - the chief risk of oral infection is via cold-sores, ulcers, etc.

RISK MITIGATION

Barriers to the "How"

The condom is still the most effective method of avoiding contagion.  With the range of thicknesses and sizes (girth), with some experimentation, you should be able to minimise any discomfort and loss of sensitivity.  But correct use is still essential (fitting it on and withdrawal immediately on completion to avoid slipping off).

The question of barriers for oral (condoms for fellatio and dams for cunnilingus) is open to debate.  The medics at my STD clinic tell me the risks from uncovered oral are minimal when there are no skin lesions on either partner.

Minimise Contagion "Entry Points"

In mentioning lesions, remember that contagious transfer can still occur in the uncovered pubic areas if there are warts, pimples, cuts, etc.  Similarly with lip and mouth ulcers, cold sours etc.  At home, we avoid kissing if either of us have a cold.  Show the same respect to your sexual partners.  In sport we now have the "blood rule".  Apply the same rule to your sexual activity - if you (or your partner) have any open sores, then avoid intimate contact.

This is probably a good place to recommend you discover, explore and enjoy the full gamut of intimate interactions.  A guy is much more likely to "get into trouble" if he is only focused on the one outcome, of "getting his rocks off" as quickly as possible.  Also, having sex when drunk is also dangerous.  A little liquor might help relax you, but with too much you quickly loose inhibition required for rational choice and risk minimization.

Choice of Partner - the "Who"

This very much falls into the risk minimization category rather than prevention.  Historically, prostitutes have been the principal source of infection.  But in recent decades, especially in countries like Australia with regulated prostitution, this situation has completely reversed.  Recent surveys (in OZ) have shown that regulated prostitutes have the lowest incident of STD of any sexually active demographic.  In STD clinics, infected men are 5 times more likely to have caught it from a casual encounter (pickup at the pub/club?) than from a prostitute.  Since regulation, there have been zero cases in HIV identified among regulated/tested prostitutes.  As one wag put it, professional electricians rarely get electrocuted - it is the weekend amateur that is in greatest risk.  As I have written elsewhere, under Australian regulations, prostitutes are required to always practice "safe sex" (I would guess that we have better than 95% compliance) and must have monthly STD health checks (as good as 100% compliance with brothels records checked at random).  Most perform a visual check of potential clients and any suspect conditions will have you turned away.

In whatever sort of "relationship", the key is communication and trust.  And that is two way.  Its not just "Can I trust her?", but "Can she trust me?".  I mentioned health checks above - you do have checkups yourself I hope. Take your share of the responsibility.

Early Detection and Treatment

Generally, men are not good at caring about their own health. Surely your sexual health is as important or more-so than your general health. Get to know your own body - yes self examination applies to men too. In OZ we have free, anonymous sexual health clinics - use them. If we expect our Ladies of Pleasure to have monthly check-ups, we should show them the courtesy of having ourselves checked as well, say 6 or 12 monthly.

Like most diseases, the earlier anything is detected, the sooner treatment can start and the quicker you will recover.

The Bottom Line - Risk, the Numbers "Game"

Now I'm no professional in this area and I can't put numeric probabilities on various aspects of risk and mitigation. All of life is risky. Just keep things in proportion in your mind. There is no point in being paranoid about contracting HIV from a drop of semen on the skin when the risk of being run-over by a car when crossing the road outside is a ten thousand times higher.

Outside of a monogamous or closed polygamous relationship, I don't advocate 'au naturale' as your normal 'modus operandi'. But having followed all the above risk mitigations, I am comfortable in taking the risk of an occasional "in flagrante delicto".

Be Informed

A short post like this can't possibly cover all aspects of this topic. So read up further. If in any doubt, talk to a medical practitioner (use one of the free anonymous services). And feel free to add your informative comments, though I do have the power of moderation.

Breakfast With Benefits

I have previously written about how I came to be seeing T privately in "Client or Buddy?".  On this occasion, I had arranged a morning/breakfast visit. I left home at 7:10am as if going to work, then diverted down the Peninsula Freeway, arriving around 8:30am, having stopped along the way for orange juice  and croissants, and to message my boss to say I had a 'family situation' and wouldn't be in until lunch time.

I am welcomed by T in her black nightie with a very big hug and kisses.  In the kitchen,  we arrange my flowers in a vase, then I send T back to bed whilst I pour orange juice and warm up our croissants.  T is sitting up in bed with a big smile, still in her nightie, when I come in with breakfast.  Now there is something very special about slipping into the bed where your lady has just spent the night and to slide under the covers (compared to the barren bed of parlours).

We manage to drink half our juice and eat most of our croissants between kisses and  cuddles.  We have a brief discussion about going "au naturalle" last time - T is very  apologetic, to which I tell her not to apologise, since it was obvious we both wanted it, nay ‘needed’ it and enjoyed it.  But we agree that it might be best if we do try to contain ourselves to 'safe sex'.

T is quite playful this morning as we slide down for some serious kissing and cuddling.  I help her pull her nightie up over her head.  We are all body and hands and kissing now.  My hand is rubbing her knicker covered crotch and I ask "Where are the  crotchless knickers you told me about?".  She responds with giggle. As I help slide her knickers off, she says, "Wait a minute, I've got a present from the girls (when she left the parlour)".  She jumps out of bed with a giggle, gets something out of her dresser  drawer and runs starkers into the lounge room. "No peeking" she calls.  I hear more  giggling and comments like "What goes into this hole?" and "How do I get this on?".

Eventually she sidles back into the bedroom wearing a black, crotchless, fish-net body  stocking, swaying her hips and giving me a little show. Her magnificent 38DDs strain  under the plunging neck-line and her hot red nipples poke through the netting like  traffic lights.

Then its back into bed and into a clinch.  There is much rolling around, cuddles, and hands all over each other and kissing up and down. Finally, under Thomas-the-Tongue's ministrations, with a huge arch of her back and an "AAAGHHH",  T comes to a shuddering climax.

I come up her body and pull the stocking off her breasts for some more licking, sucking  and kissing.  I find the stocking a bit rough on our skin, so I help her slide it off and  we enjoy the warm smoothness of our nakedness as she kicks it off her feet.

Remembering our earlier discussion, I roll on a rubber, I lie over her to embrace, kissing and cuddling and we again slide together, with no awkward fumbling.  We just "click" intellectually, emotionally and physically. T is still quite  horny and I am hard, and our coupling becomes passionately vigourous. We roll around for what seems like for ever - time stands still - but I suppose it must have been 30 minutes or more.  We are hot, sweaty and breathless, but I know my sensitivity is declining.  

We roll onto our sides and reluctantly de-couple.  T strips me bare and works her oral magic. But still, she can't bring me off, but she has the taste for more!  So she tries some handy-work, but that makes it worse for me.  I gently ask her to stop, show her that for me, a hand-job must be dry.  I show her my DIYHJ - she sits astride, watching and admiring.  She tells me how horny it makes her watching the straining muscles of a guy's arm and the thickening, reddening member.  She leans forward and licks the pre-cum.  T is watching intently.  She sees me tighten, now red hot and hard I feel like I am ready to burst.  "Its all yours!" I  say.  T pounces, sucking hard as I explode, savouring ever drop, swallowing twice.  I continue spasming for what seems like ages.  This is awesome.  T certainly knows how to please her man.   Wow!.

We lie back and cuddle and chat for a bit, then drift off in petit mort for perhaps 5-10 minutes. Then its reluctantly off to the shower and dress.  We settle in the lounge for a cup of chai tea and chat about T's upcoming trip. I leave my 'gift' on the table and head off to work about 11:30 - wow, what a fabulous 3 hours! What a way to start to day.  What better way to break fast!