Sextreme Sport - The Ride

Sometimes or perhaps usually, memories of the ordinary, day-to-day things don't rise up to reminiscences. It's the unusual, out of the ordinary things that have some special 'trigger' that brings reminiscences to the fore.

Personally, sex wise, I am a vanilla, cuddly type. Cunnilingus is the closest I come to 'kink'. Whilst the encounter I describe below was extreme for me, for others you might think, "What's so unusual about that!". But as a sexygenarian at the time (8 years ago), I was starting to slow down to retirement, but still trying to explore experiences that I never got to experience in my up-tight younger years.

The Lady in Question

The lady in question working as 'Cristal', had been an average suburban sex worker, dissatisfied with her future prospects, decided to rebrand herself and move into the 'private' world. You notice that I didn't use the word 'escort'. With new breast implants, dyed pink hair and web-site and social media launch as 'Hot Babe', "the filthiest, dirtiest English slapper you will ever stick your cock in", "I am a wild, nasty, shameless, hardcore whore", "I specialize in XXX Pornstar Action, deep throat like you've never seen, all the way down your gullet, drenching your bedroom in fountains of squirt", she is not the sort of girl to take home to meet your mother or to take as an escort to a 5 star restaurant.

The Encounter

So I joined the long line of men waiting to take her on. I secured a week-day long-lunch booking, not too far from work.

At the agreed place and time, Cristal eventually comes in, cunningly disguised in an all-over tan and skimpy fluoro bikini that barely holds in her newly acquired FFs. After the obligatory preliminary shower, Cristal returns, and there is some "dancing" around each other, sizing each-other up - discovering each-other's delectations.  We move into a clinch and Cristal lifts her top and thrust her orbs into my face, saying "Wrap your tongue around these!".

There is writhing and squirming, jockeying for position till Cristal gains the upper hand and 'attacks' with tongue and mouth.  But despite being in the under-dog position, I pull her leg over and start giving that English pussy a good old Aussie licking.

She rolls off and pulls me up to a standing position in front of the mirror, then on her knees, I meet Deep Throat.  But I regain the upper hand, and push her back onto the bed, head over the edge for a face-fuck. I then pull her legs up over my shoulders for more lip-licking 69 whilst simultaneously 'pile-driving' deep down (up?) her throat.

But Cristal, showing her amazing flexibility, extricates herself, and standing, still in her 5" stillettos, with one leg shoulder high against the mirror in a vertical 'split', demands, "Well are you going to fuck this English pussy now?".  What follows, is a series of moves and positions that would do an Olympic gymnast justice. She throws pillows on the floor, pushes me down and proceeds to impale herself on me, both forward and reverse and a 'twister'.

But I regain control, and have Cristal spread-eagled on her back on the bed.  I crawl up the bed, pausing to apply more oral lubrication, before pinning her under me.  A DFK tongue battle ensures.  She lifts her legs high over my shoulders to achieve maximum penetration, and much pleading to The Almighty can be heard (definitely a 10 on my fuchter-scale).

As her shudders finally subside, I roll off, and she dives on my member to slake her thirst at my fountain of love.

Half exhausted, we both lie back for a cuddle and chat about love and marriage and internet BLOGS.

But its not long before she can feel a nudge in her crotch as Little Tom rises for more.  She swings round and licks and sucks some more, and I give her the two-finger salute.  Before long she is bucking again and reaches for another rubber and has barely got it on before the 'time up' buzzer sounds.  But do you think a buzzer is going to stop this Wicked Wench when she wants something ("its all about me!").  She is on board now and riding like a woman possessed, until in another body shuddering orgasm, she gets what she wants!  Her pussy has clamped tightly around me and I continue pumping as tremors continue to ripple through her body, till I explode too. (OMG, twice in an hour, its unheard of for the old fella).

Now, totally exhausted, we both fall back to catch our breath.  The buzzer goes a second time, and I slowly get up on wobbly legs.

The final score? A 2 all draw!

After Thoughts

Would I return? Probably not! But it is something that every man should try at least once. But with age and my latest issue of ED after prostate cancer treatment, I wouldn't be up to it.

Cristal has expanded her extreme repertoire. With up to 3 other like-minded 'sluts', she organizes "Wet & Wild" gang bangs, with sufficient men to ensure that all holes are constantly satisfied. She arrives with a wheelie case full of toys, plastic sheeting to protect floor and furniture, condoms by the gross, quart bottles of lube, and drinks and nibbles to sustain everyone's energy levels.

In writing a review at the time, I was inspired to write a parody verse from Banjo Paterson's "The Man From Snowy River". Then just last year, I was further inspired to update that with a full length parody, "The Ride - The Man From Yarra River". Whilst inspired by Cristal, it is a piece of fiction that does capture the feeling of "Sextreme Sport".

Reminiscences: Musings in Memoir — Prompt #3 "Ride"

To All the Girls I've Loved Before - Thank You

I see from my diary, that its been 10 years since my sexual liberation, so in the words of Hal David, sung variously by Willy Nelson, Julio and Englebert, I want to say 'Thank You' to "All the girls I've loved before".

 

I won't repeat my history that lead to that liberation - it was covered in 'Was the last-time, the LAST Time?'.  Sadly I confess that in that 35 years I had never had or received oral sex, nor had my lady ever orgasmed. 

It was in that time of depression that I 'saw the light', that I had to take responsibility for my own happiness, emotional and physical needs. Not wishing to leave the marriage, I turned to professional help - commercial sex.

I am fortunate to live in a state and country where commercial sex is legal and regulated. So in the past 10 years I have learnt and experienced many aspects of this 'service' industry.

 
There have been 1 or 2 'star-fishes' who obviously didn't want to be there, that provide a receptacle rather than a service. 

 
There have been those that seemed quite inexperienced and nervous. There have been some that really tried to provide a good service, but there has been no 'connection'.  Can there really be a 'connection' between a sex worker and client?

I will digress slightly at this point to thank a Punter Review web forum.  This particular site encourages ladies to join in general conversations and is well moderated.  It was here that I learnt how best to choose a lady from the introductions, that might best suit my needs.  Reviews from other punters also provided recommendations and service descriptions.  So I quickly found myself enjoying the company of a number of special ladies, that I dedicate this post to.

I quickly developed skills in cunnilingus with guidance from some of my ladies. For the first time I experienced ladies that really wanted/needed sex themselves - yes, there are ladies in the sex industry that are not there just for the money, but because of their own high sex-drive needs. For the first time I experienced ladies' orgasms in all their wonderful varieties - O-O-O-OMG. Then to top this off, I found my first squirter. To all these wonderful ladies, "Thank You"!

So despite the danger of overlooking someone, here is my "Honor Roll" in roughly chronological order:-

• First off, thanks to Kelly who popped my punting cherry. Tho in hindsight, not great sex, she was a very gentle, kind lady that guided me for an enjoyable first time commercially. I almost felt like a virgin being introduced to sex for the first time. I needed it.
• Daniella was a dark horse, passed over at our first introduction, but next time I discovered a highly sexed, passionate women whose company I enjoyed over eight years. It was she who taught me the joys of DATY and nick-named me 'Thomas the Tongue Engine'. I have written about our times together three times on this blog - 'Maid in Morocco', 'That Smile' and 'A Bad Habit'.
• Megan introduced me to CIMS, snow-balling and the taste of cum. But more importantly, Megan took me out of the time-constrained commercial environment, to Booty-Buddy visits at home, of 'Breakfast with Benefits', and coping with a Buddy relationship coming to an end.
• Sandy was a hot New Zealand blonde, with whom I discovered the difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms.
• April was probably the first 'screamer' I encountered, and my head in a scissor lock whilst she convulsed, won't be forgotten. And I sustained the first and only 'punch' in the nose in my whole life (from a convulsing pubic bone). If the end-of-the world was at hand, I couldn't think of a nicer lady to go out with a bang with.
• Cristal HotBabe ('The Wicked Wench of Wupert Street') was a once off PSE that you've got to try once in a life-time. It was wild, almost gymnastic with some positions I've never seen or heard of before or since.
• Kaz is an all round lovely lady - great body, good conversationalist, great kisser and great sex. I discovered that ladies that have mastered kegal muscle control can add an amazing dimension to sex - I quipped that she does 'DFF'. Also 'Munching on Special-K'.
• Grace introduced me to humour and laughter during sex. Wow, cumming and laughing at the same time is an experience. Yes, sex should be fun.
• Amber is one of those sex machines with a voracious appetite, and a very nice lady to boot.
• Ruby is an incredibly passionate lady, a great kisser and very orgasmic. I swear her prominent nipples are wired to her clit. A keen lover of cunnilingus, I was rewarded by her squirting, again and again and again. Awesome.

To these ladies and all my other companions, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!

The Wicked Wench of Wupert Stweet

"There was movement on the forums, for the word had passed around
That the MILF from "Butterflies" had got away,
And had joined the Wild Ladies - she was worth a thousand pound,
So all the cracks had gathered to the fray.
All the tried and noted punters from the brothels near and far
Had mustered at "The G" overnight,
For the punters love hard riding where the Wild Ladies are,
And Sir Thomas snuffs the battle with delight."

(with apologies to ABP)

(Edit Jan.2019 - Since Cristal first inspired the above parody verse, I have finally completed a full length piece, titled The Rider.)
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From all reports this young blond filly of ample assets with her butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" English Rose looks and seductive accent, continues to seduce the men of Melbtropolis. Despite her "Hot Babe" tag, this is really the "Wicked Wench of Wupert Stweet".  

Its time she got a good licking - this is a job for "Super Tongue" ("I've eaten more pussies than Sunday roasts!").

Meanwhile, in the grey canyons of the business district of Melbtropolis, mild mannered business analyst Sir Thomas, slips out for an early long lunch.  He boards his trusty #109 steed, flashing his Seniors Card at the ticket inspector, and heads on down to "The G".

Cristal ("The Wench") was busy as usual.  ST had rung the day before to ensure he got a lunch-time booking, but only 1:15 was available. But even now, she is running 15 minutes late.  He settles in the waiting room with just women's daytime TV and a NW magazine for company (not even a 'Ralph' - wtf)!

Cristal eventually comes in, cunningly disguised in an all-over tan and skimpy fluoro bikini that barely holds in her newly acquired puppies.

Up in the room, Sir Thomas slips into the shower cubical and steps out as "Super Tongue"!  

On Cristal's return, there is some "dancing" around each other, sizing each-other up - discovering each-other's delectations.  They move into a clinch and Cristal lifts her top and thrust her orbs into his face, "Wrap your tongue around these!" ST thinks, "I'm supposed to be giving her the 'licking'. She shouldn't be demanding it!"

There is writhing and squirming, jockeying for position till Cristal gains the upper hand and is attacking ST with her tongue and mouth. But ST, despite being in the under-dog position pulls her leg over and starts giving that English pussy a good old Aussie licking.

She rolls off and pulls him up to a standing position in front of the mirror, then on her knees, ST meets DT (Deep Throat).  But ST regains the upper hand, and pushes her back onto the bed, head over the edge and continues the face-fuck, then pulls her legs up over his shoulders for more lip-licking 69 (is there even a name for this position?)

But Cristal, showing her amazing flexibility, extricates herself, and standing, still in her stillettos, with one leg shoulder high against the mirror, demands, "Well are you going to fuck this English pussy now?"  What follows, is a series of moves and positions that would do the Australian Ballet justice, before Cristal throws ST to the floor onto a pillow and proceeds to impale herself on him, both forward and reverse cow-girl.

But ST regains control, and has Cristal spread-eagled on her back on the bed.  He crawls up the bed, pausing to apply more oral lubrication, before pinning her under him.  A DFK tongue battle ensures.  She lifts her legs high over his shoulders to achieve maximum penetration, and much pleading to The Almightly can be heard.

As her shudders finally subside, ST rolls off, and she dives on his member to slake her thirst at the fountain of love.

Half exhausted, they both lie back for a cuddle and chat about love and marriage and internet forums.

But its not long before she can feel a nudge in her crotch as ST rises for more. She swings round and licks and sucks some more, and ST gives her the two-finger salute.  Before long she is bucking again and reaches for another rubber and has barely got it on before the buzzer sounds. But do you think a buzzer is going to stop this Wicked Wench when she wants something ("its all about me!"). She is on board now and riding like a woman possessed, until in another body shuddering orgasm, she gets what she wants! Her pussy has clamped tightly around ST who continues pumping as tremors continue to ripple through her body, till he explodes too. (OMG, twice in an hour, its unheard of for the old fella).

Now, totally exhausted, they both fall back to catch their breath. The buzzer goes a second time, and ST slowly gets up then gingerly stands on wobbly legs. He showers and slips back into his disguise as mild-mannered Sir Thomas.

The final score? A 2 all draw!
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As Sir Thomas settles back in the 109 to catch his breath and wait for some strength to return to his knees, he wonders:

"Who was that woman?  Was that really the 'Wicked Wench', or was it in fact 'Wonder Woman' stripped bare?"

And so Sir Thomas slips back into work a bit after 3pm (it was an extra long "Lunch") - little do the juniors realise that The Old Man (TOM) is in fact the fearless defender of Twuth, Justice and the Punters’ Way!

As TOM settles down at his desk, there is a stirring in his loins - Oh no! Is it the delicious memory, or the remnants of vitamin V, or ... no, it couldn't be ... not "Cristallization"?  He licks his lips and wiggles his tongue - no, thank goodness - "Super Tongue" is safe for another day!
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PS. Apart from some literary license, no facts were harmed in the production of this review.  Everything else should be taken with a grain of Cialis and was written with tongue firmly in pussy.  All allusions, alliterations and aspersions are altogether intentional.

Having Sex With Stangers - NOT!!!

I have heard and read people put down seeing prostitutes as “having sex with strangers”.  For those of us who have chosen this (sexual) life style, that ain’t necessarily so (though I guess there are some that never see the same lady twice).

One of the advantages of punter forums is having some idea of what a lady will be like before you meet her in the flesh.  Then there is the “introduction”, and again from what I have learned from forums plus personal experience, I believe I have grown a lot in judging how I will get on with a lady just from the introduction - its important to ask the right questions and to not be led purely by looks and the little head between your legs.  Mind you, the “introduction” varies greatly between parlours, from the ‘parade’ perhaps with numbers (the worst), to non-English speaking Asian ladies poking their head through the door with a simple “Hello, I’m xxxx”, to the private intro. room where questions can be asked (and very occasionally an encouraging grope).

Of the 15 ladies I have seen this year, I have seen 6 more than once.  I feel I am changing.  I went through a phase of resentment (about my wife and home situation) and set out to visit multiple ladies and parlours.  But I find myself settling down now and enjoying a small number of regulars.

What makes a regular enjoyable is “clicking” personalities, good conversation, a sense of humour, plus good sex.  It means we can relax, let go and mutually enjoy our time together.

I now have around six regulars at my favourite parlour, so on some days I have to toss to decide who I should see, or check my diary to see who I haven’t visited for the longest time.  Mind you, if I only see my ladies once in three months, are they still ‘regulars’?

Of course, all Working Ladies have their own individual traits and “protocol” about how their bookings progress.  Some have their ‘standard’ conversation pieces. One or two (eg. the “Wicked Wench”) play the ‘slut’/’porn-star’ role.  I remember M, one of my early regulars, aimed to make her clients feel that they were “making love” with her.  

A current regular, ‘A’, has a fun-filled ‘game-plan’ of pretend infractions that require ‘punishment’ - this starts with ‘stumbling’ on the stairs so you ‘bump’ into her arse or get a flash of her black silky knickers.  Watching her undress from the shower earns a further ‘punishment’.  My ‘punishments’ have included having my hands tied to the bed-posts with her stockings and her knickers draped over my face as a blind-fold, whilst she has her way with me.  Its not BDSM at all, just play.

Great Sex that is fun and play-full is just the best!!!