Tuesday 24 July 2012

The Wicked Wench of Wupert Stweet

"There was movement on the forums, for the word had passed around
That the MILF from "Butterflies" had got away,
And had joined the Wild Ladies - she was worth a thousand pound,
So all the cracks had gathered to the fray.
All the tried and noted punters from the brothels near and far
Had mustered at "The G" overnight,
For the punters love hard riding where the Wild Ladies are,
And Sir Thomas snuffs the battle with delight."

(with apologies to ABP)

(Edit Jan.2019 - Since Cristal first inspired the above parody verse, I have finally completed a full length piece, titled The Rider.)

From all reports this young blond filly of ample assets with her butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" English Rose looks and seductive accent, continues to seduce the men of Melbtropolis. Despite her "Hot Babe" tag, this is really the "Wicked Wench of Wupert Stweet".  

Its time she got a good licking - this is a job for "Super Tongue" ("I've eaten more pussies than Sunday roasts!").

Meanwhile, in the grey canyons of the business district of Melbtropolis, mild mannered business analyst Sir Thomas, slips out for an early long lunch.  He boards his trusty #109 steed, flashing his Seniors Card at the ticket inspector, and heads on down to "The G".

Cristal ("The Wench") was busy as usual.  ST had rung the day before to ensure he got a lunch-time booking, but only 1:15 was available. But even now, she is running 15 minutes late.  He settles in the waiting room with just women's daytime TV and a NW magazine for company (not even a 'Ralph' - wtf)!

Cristal eventually comes in, cunningly disguised in an all-over tan and skimpy fluoro bikini that barely holds in her newly acquired puppies.

Up in the room, Sir Thomas slips into the shower cubical and steps out as "Super Tongue"!  

On Cristal's return, there is some "dancing" around each other, sizing each-other up - discovering each-other's delectations.  They move into a clinch and Cristal lifts her top and thrust her orbs into his face, "Wrap your tongue around these!" ST thinks, "I'm supposed to be giving her the 'licking'. She shouldn't be demanding it!"

There is writhing and squirming, jockeying for position till Cristal gains the upper hand and is attacking ST with her tongue and mouth. But ST, despite being in the under-dog position pulls her leg over and starts giving that English pussy a good old Aussie licking.

She rolls off and pulls him up to a standing position in front of the mirror, then on her knees, ST meets DT (Deep Throat).  But ST regains the upper hand, and pushes her back onto the bed, head over the edge and continues the face-fuck, then pulls her legs up over his shoulders for more lip-licking 69 (is there even a name for this position?)

But Cristal, showing her amazing flexibility, extricates herself, and standing, still in her stillettos, with one leg shoulder high against the mirror, demands, "Well are you going to fuck this English pussy now?"  What follows, is a series of moves and positions that would do the Australian Ballet justice, before Cristal throws ST to the floor onto a pillow and proceeds to impale herself on him, both forward and reverse cow-girl.

But ST regains control, and has Cristal spread-eagled on her back on the bed.  He crawls up the bed, pausing to apply more oral lubrication, before pinning her under him.  A DFK tongue battle ensures.  She lifts her legs high over his shoulders to achieve maximum penetration, and much pleading to The Almightly can be heard.

As her shudders finally subside, ST rolls off, and she dives on his member to slake her thirst at the fountain of love.

Half exhausted, they both lie back for a cuddle and chat about love and marriage and internet forums.

But its not long before she can feel a nudge in her crotch as ST rises for more. She swings round and licks and sucks some more, and ST gives her the two-finger salute.  Before long she is bucking again and reaches for another rubber and has barely got it on before the buzzer sounds. But do you think a buzzer is going to stop this Wicked Wench when she wants something ("its all about me!"). She is on board now and riding like a woman possessed, until in another body shuddering orgasm, she gets what she wants! Her pussy has clamped tightly around ST who continues pumping as tremors continue to ripple through her body, till he explodes too. (OMG, twice in an hour, its unheard of for the old fella).

Now, totally exhausted, they both fall back to catch their breath. The buzzer goes a second time, and ST slowly gets up then gingerly stands on wobbly legs. He showers and slips back into his disguise as mild-mannered Sir Thomas.

The final score? A 2 all draw!

As Sir Thomas settles back in the 109 to catch his breath and wait for some strength to return to his knees, he wonders:

"Who was that woman?  Was that really the 'Wicked Wench', or was it in fact 'Wonder Woman' stripped bare?"

And so Sir Thomas slips back into work a bit after 3pm (it was an extra long "Lunch") - little do the juniors realise that The Old Man (TOM) is in fact the fearless defender of Twuth, Justice and the Punters’ Way!

As TOM settles down at his desk, there is a stirring in his loins - Oh no! Is it the delicious memory, or the remnants of vitamin V, or ... no, it couldn't be ... not "Cristallization"?  He licks his lips and wiggles his tongue - no, thank goodness - "Super Tongue" is safe for another day!
PS. Apart from some literary license, no facts were harmed in the production of this review.  Everything else should be taken with a grain of Cialis and was written with tongue firmly in pussy.  All allusions, alliterations and aspersions are altogether intentional.

1 comment:

  1. PS: Cristal Hot-Babe (aka "CristalDownUnder") is further 'perverting' the punters of Melbtropolis by organizing adult parties (Wet and Wild Gang Bangs) with a couple of her friends. From their reviews and photos, imagine if you will, a "MFMMMFMMMFMM" with a gross of condoms, a litre of lube, numerous sex toys (both mineral and vegetable), a crate of beer and trays of snacks (to keep their energy up) and lots of plastic sheeting to protect the furniture (a couple of these ladies are renowned 'squirters'). Can you picture triple "spit roasts"?

    Call me old fashioned (or just old), but although I don't mind sharing my Ladies Of Pleasure, I do prefer them one-at-a-time. Perhaps if I was 20-30 years younger (but then I had been 'liberated' back then). Sigh!


Comments, feedback and discussion is always welcome. But please understand that there will be about a day's delay for moderation.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


#WBSW (2) #WriteBigSexyWords (2) A-to-Z Challenge (21) aging (23) Altar of Love (1) andropause (6) anger (1) Anniversary (1) arousal (10) au naturale (12) Australian kiss (4) average (1) bare-back (4) begging (2) benefits (5) bereaved (1) bloopers (1) blow job (2) bondage (1) BoobDay (1) breakfast (5) buddy (15) camel_toe (1) carer (6) changing (1) Cherry Lane (1) choices (8) Christmas (3) client (13) clothing (1) coitus (3) comforting (1) conversation (18) cosplay (2) cream-pie (1) cunnilingus (24) DATY (24) depression (8) Desire (3) DFF (1) DFK (1) e[lust] (39) ejaculation (7) embarrassment (4) erectile dysfunction (17) erections (3) erotic fiction (29) Exhibitionism (1) facesitting (2) fellatio (5) fiction (3) Food 4 Thought (3) french kiss (3) french-maid (2) friends-with-benefits (1) fuchter-scale (10) G-spot (1) goodbye (1) goodbyes (2) grieving (1) hair-trigger (3) happiness (1) happy-ending (14) health (2) health checks (7) help (1) holiday (7) hot-widow (1) humor (6) insemination (2) intimacy (1) Joie de Vivre (2) kink_of_the_week (1) KinkOfTheWeek (3) lady-of-pleasure (60) laughter (9) legality (2) lesbian sex (1) Libido (4) lichter-scale (6) lifestyle (1) linctus (15) Lingerie is for Everyone (2) listless (1) LOP-Amber (1) LOP-April (6) LOP-Aysha (3) LOP-Bianca (1) LOP-Britney (1) LOP-Chanel (4) LOP-Cristal (6) LOP-Crystal (3) LOP-Daniella (9) LOP-Emma (1) LOP-Firecracker (3) LOP-Grace (6) LOP-Jess (1) LOP-Kaz (5) LOP-Kelly (1) LOP-Kim (1) LOP-Mai (1) LOP-Meghan (12) LOP-Ruby (5) LOP-Samantha (3) LOP-Samma (1) LOP-Vanessa (1) LOP-Veronica (5) LOP-YummyMummy (1) lust (17) lustless (2) masturbation (13) matrimony (7) Medium (1) mindfulness (1) Money (1) monochromerotic (1) moroccan (5) multi-orgasmic (9) nipples (2) not cumming (13) observation (3) orgasmic (26) orgasms (22) paying (12) penetrative sex (7) Photography (5) poetry (5) preferences (9) professional (10) prostate cancer (9) PSE (4) radiotherapy (8) rape-in-marriage (5) raunchy (23) regular (34) reminiscence (11) respect (13) reunion (2) sabbatical (4) satisfaction (1) scissoring (1) scruples (2) seduction (7) senses (1) sex education (6) sex toys (1) Sexmas (1) sexual health (11) sexygenarian (11) spooning (1) squirting (10) starfish (5) STDs (2) stress (1) surrender (2) sympathy sex (5) taboo (1) tastes (10) TMI (1) tongue-engine (11) toon-sex (1) Top10 (1) uncovered (2) vaginal sex (3) viagra (15) Voyeurism (1) Wealth (1) wicked Wednesday (4) Wicked-Wednesday (6) Wisdom (1) Wishes (1) woman-on-woman (6)