AKA the cunning linguist; AKA el lingüista astuto; AKA Thomas the Tongue Engine; AKA le linguiste adroit; AKA il linguista abile; AKA the cunning linguist; AKA el lingüista astuto; AKA Thomas the Tongue Engine; AKA le linguiste adroit; AKA il linguista abile;

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Monday, 28 January 2019

The Rider

(An Australian classic recrafted #literotica
with apologies to 'Banjo' Paterson, "The Man from Snowy River"
public domain since 1991
)

Content Warning! Contains sexually explicit graphic descriptions.
There was movement on the forums, for the word had passed around
That the MILF from "Butterflys" had got away,
And had joined the Wild Ladies - she was worth a thousand pound,
So all the studs had gathered to the fray.

All the tried and noted punters from the brothels near and far
Had mustered at "The G" o'night,
For the punters love hard riding where the Wild Ladies are,
And Sir Thomas sniffs their perfume with delight.


There was Stiffy, who made his name, when FIA ruled the net,
The old man with hair as white as cum;
But few could fuck beside him when his blood was fairly up -
He would go where ever whore and man could go.
And Randy of the Overblow came down to lend a hand,
No better fluffer ever held a cock;
For never whore could throw him while the bed-springs still held up,
He learnt to fuck while still a lad at school.

And one was there, a callow youth on a skinny, small-breasted whore,
He was something like a sprinter undersized,
With a touch of 'tuckey pony - three parts thoroughbred -
And such as are by Melbourne Ladies prized.
He was hard and tough and horny- just the sort that won't say die -
There was courage in his quick impatient thrusts;
And he bore the badge of lust in his bright and fiery eye,
And the proud and lofty carriage of his cock.

But still so youthfully skinny, one would doubt his power to stay,
And the old man said "That whore will never do
"For a long and tiring fuck - lad you'd better stay away,
"Those thighs are far too rough for such as you".
So he waited sad and wistful - only Randy stood his friend,
"I think we ought to let him cum" he said;
"I warrant he'll be with us when he's cumming at the end,
"For both his whore and he are mountain bred".

"He hails from Yarra River, up by 'Buang's side,
"Where the whores are half as cheap and twice as rough,
"Where a horse's hoof strikes fear from every furtive glance,
"The man that holds his own is good enough,
"And the Yarra River riders in the Gully make their home,
"Where the linctus runs those giant thighs between;
"I have seen full many punters since I first commenced to play,
"But nowhere yet such fuckers have I seen".

So he went — they found the Ladies atop the fucking bed —
They were faced the headboard with arses in the air,
And the old man gave his orders,
'Boys, go at them from the jump, no use to try for fancy riding now. 
And, Randy, you must whip them, try and wheal them on the rump. 
Ride boldly, lad, and never fear the spills, 
For never yet was punter that could keep these Ladies tight, 
If once you breach the sphincter of those cunts.' 

So Randy whipped and whealed them — he was racing on the wing 
Where the best and boldest floggers take their place, 
And he raised his flogger o'er them, and made their arses sting 
With the 9tails, as he met them face to face. 
Then he halted for a moment, while he dropped the dreaded lash, 
And they saw his swollen donger full in view, 
And they charged beneath his torso with a sharp and sudden dash, 
And licked and sucked his member to the hilt. 

Then fast the punters followed, where the gorges deep and red
Resounded to the slapping of their thrusts, 
In the gangbang wild and wet, they queued 
To lick and suck and fuck. 
And upward, ever upward, Wild Ladies held their way, 
Where fountains of squirt, high and wide were sprayed; 
And the old man muttered fiercely, 'We may bid the Ladies good day,
NO man can hold them down all this day.' 

When they reached the 'gasm's summit, even Randy took a pull,
It well might make the boldest hold his breath, 
The hairy twats grew thickly, and the hidden flesh was full 
Of fucking holes, and slick and swollen clits. 
But the man from Yarra River let his Lady have her head, 
And he swung his flogger round and gave a cheer, 
And he raced her down the climax like a torrent flood the bed, 
While the others stood and watched in very awe. 

He sent the linctus flying, but the Lady kept her head, 
He cleared the convulsing body in his stride, 
And the man from Yarra River never eased off in his thrusts — 
It was grand to see that mountain fucker ride. 
Through weary legs and bodies, on the rough and broken bed, 
Through the slippery spreading labia, at a racing pace he went; 
And he never drew a breath till he landed safe and sound, 
At the bottom of that hot and luscious descent. 

He was right among the Ladies as they 'roused a second time, 
And the watchers on the sidelines standing mute, 
Saw him ply his tongue so fiercely, a clit to raise the thrill, 
As he traced across the labia in hot pursuit. 
Then they lost him for a moment, 
Where two luscious labia meet 
'Mongst the tangled legs and bodies, the Wild Ladies panting yet, 
With the man from Yarra River mounted still. 

And down by 'Buang's gullies, where the rugged Ladies 'cline, 
Their tired and weary bodies to recoup, 
Where the air is musky scented, and the milky breasts do shine 
At midday in the warm and mellow air,
Where 'round the O'blow spillway, the river flows away 
To the billabongs and plains, toward Melbourne as it runs, 
The man from Yarra River is a household word to-day, 
And punters tell the story of his ride.
---xxxxXxxxx---
PS. Feb.5th

Now, do yourself a favour and read or listen to Paterson's original.
This iconic bush-ballad, beautifully captures the excitement of high-country horsemen rounding up wild brumbies.  I just hope my poor parody achieves even half that adrenaline pumping excitement.
Then try and find a copy of the movie of the same name, starring Tom Burlinson as Jim, The Man From Snowy River, with Kirk Douglas, Jack Thompson and Ingrid Thornton. If not the full movie, at least watch the YouTube clip of Jim's amazing down-hill ride - no CGI or special effects here - brilliant scenery, riding and cinematography.

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