ED Recovery? The Test Drive

 #F4TFriday

The time has come.

I've been trying a non-invasive method to treat my Erectile Dysfunction (2 year post prostate cancer radiotherapy treatment) for 3 months. As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, there has been a modicum of success with Viagra and cock-ring producing erections that just might be sufficient for coitus. So its time to try it out.

My lustless wife has had no desire for any form of intimacy for decades, so this is not for her. As for me, the days of aching urgent needs, dwindled over the years from daily, to weekly to monthly and the intensity subsided. But now there is no feeling of 'need' any more, just memories of 'that would be nice to have again'. As I face the possibility of widowhood in the next few years, it would be nice to know that I might have something to offer any future partner. Regrets? Sure, I've had a few!

But for now, all I have are some LOP 'buddies', that are understanding, willing and warm and intimate. My carer duties have become almost full time, so the best I can manage is to extend a shopping trip by an hour.

I finally manage to arrange a time. Miss C welcomes me warmly, despite it being 12 months since our last encounter. She reassures me that my situation is not uncommon. Being a middle aged SW, she has quite a number of older clients with post-prostate treatment conditions, including implanted pumps, rods, cock-rings and caverject injections.

As we snuggle up for a kiss and cuddle, a relaxing warmth enfolds me. How nice is that primal need for the intimate touch of another human body. C wriggles in closer, worming her cleft over my modest erection. She assures me that it is stiff enough and its hotness is as good as ever. I don't feel anything especially arousing, just part of the overall warmth of intimacy. I do however feel C's wetness and her own increasing need as she works her clit over me.

Its time I satisfied her needs. I slide down her body and let the old tongue-engine loose on her lady bits. Well at least my tongue is still in excellent working order and all the old sensations are still good.

After she had come down from her orgasm, she asks if I am ready to enter her. She tells me she needs to feel filled. I warn her that condoms decrease sensitivity even more and I'm not sure I can even penetrate. She suggests we try a super-thin non-latex condom and give it a go.

As I slide in, there is relief that my erection has passed the test. Even though there is no feeling of arousal, it is warm and nice to feel the ultimate of human intimacy. But orgasm for me just isn't on the radar.

Sadly our time all too soon comes to an end. As we chat, shower and dress, I tell C that I came expecting that this might be my last time. But I thank her that she has reassured me that there is some sort of future for limited intimacy.

Thank God for these wonderful Ladies Of Pleasure that give men like me, some warmth and intimacy in the autumn of our life.

PS. My visit to Miss C used my last Viagra script, and its still a month or so to the Dr's appointment. So its been a couple of weeks with no daily Viagra. Sadly, even with cock-ring, there is no hint of erection and zero sensation. So whilst my 'treatment' has enabled an erection sufficient for coitus as needed, there appears to have been no  'healing' for long-term improvement. However, I shall continue my 'treatment' for another 6 months and see.

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How Long is Enough?

No, I don't mean linear measure – my ladies and I are quite satisfied with my very average 15cm - rather, I mean elapsed time. Besides, 2cm of tongue seems to elicit more pleasure.

 

My question arises from age related changes. In 'normal' sexual relations, the length of time involved is essentially always determined by the male's time to ejaculation. In my earliest experience, with premature ejaculation issues, 2 minutes was about my mean. I have read research that suggests the average length of copulation is 5-7 minutes.

But for we senior citizens (I'm just a year away from my 'soixante neuf' year), with ED (pharmacological assistance required) and prostate issues, ejaculation at all is rare. So without ejaculation, how/when does an encounter end?

 

Now I admit that my personal situation limits my sexual 'relations' to financially constrained time limits. Some ladies seem to impose their own personal limit of around 10 minutes before the “Have you come yet?” question. Most are quite unfamiliar with men that don't cum, and feel professionally inadequate that they have not been able to 'satisfy' their client to 'completion'. And of course they have to 'keep' themselves ready for other clients during the day/night. And as a profession as a whole, they are not there for their own satisfaction – although I am blessed to have a few very special regular ladies that I see that tend toward the 'nympho' end of the market.

 

So between kissing and cuddling, two way oral and a variety of positions, we generally last 45-60 minutes before we have 'had enough', although it's generally my call. Further, I have very sensitive skin, so friction 'burn' is also a factor, irrespective of lubricant, or condom or not. Thank God for tongues.

 

So fair readers, back to my question, “How long is enough?” I would be very interested to hear your comments and of your 'measure'.

DFF - Deep French Fucking

A couple of things came to me recently that lead to this post.  A national paper's 'Lifestyle' blog had an article on the perennial issue of why women don't/can't orgasm with vaginal sex.  Then there is that bland term "penetrative sex" - the sex-blog world talks lots about the peripheral, preliminaries (bondage, spanking, cunnilingus, fellatio, etc), but the "final" sex act is somewhat of an anti-climax, although it is supposed to be THE Climax!

Then I had another encounter with "Special K" - we hadn't seen each other for 10-11 months, but in the past year we have become regular 'buddies'.  Her technique for "penetrative sex" is something to blog about.  Of the hundred or two ladies with whom I have had the pleasure of their 'company' (and these being 'professional' sex workers at that), I would venture that barely a half dozen have mastered this technique.

Sure there are various positions, 'cow girl', reverse cow girl, 'doggy', missionary, etc, that spice up the main event.  But I am talking about something more.  In struggling to work out how to describe this pleasure, the nearest analogy I could come up with is comparing the "simple kiss" with Deep French Kissing (DFK).  Thus I settled on "Deep French Fucking".

I have written before about the "dry root", or "non-sex", AKA "outer sex".  If we extrapolate that technique and imagine your lady "Deep French Kissing" your cock with her vulva, you start to get the 'feel' of it.  The primary drive is stimulation of her clitoris.  From her perspective, the key is the use of her pelvic muscles. The most sensitive parts of our genitals are her clitoris and vulva, and the head/tip of his penis.  K has a particular 'move' whereby she 'nibbles' or 'kisses' the head of my cock with the mouth of her vagina, using her muscle control - awesome.

There is a lot of pelvic action, more so by your lady, using both the front and back sides of your cock as well as your knob, rubbing every ridge, and exploring every wet slippery fold of her clitoris and labia majora & minor with the occasional foray into the inner sanctum.  As well as in/out, there will be back & forth, left/right, and rotating/twisting actions.

In some sense, DFF is driven by the lady, but the gentleman should be able to judge which moves are most pleasurable to you both, and use his cock to caress both the outer folds of her vulva as well as inside with a variety of moves.

Couple the above with a whole-of-body embrace, skin-on-skin stimulation and actual Deep French Kissing, you have optimised the chances for your lady to achieve that big "O" during "vaginal sex".

In comparison, doesn't "penetrative sex" sound so bland.  Surely this is why our boys seem to think that sex is only all about in-and-out "pumping" till he has his climax.

I am reminded of the story about the young prince getting married. He asked his father, the King for advice. "Its quite simple" said The King.  On your wedding night, your wife will say, 'I offer my honour', to which you will reply, 'I honour your offer'. Then its just a matter of honour and offer, honour and offer...".

Poor prince, so much to learn.  I'm just sorry that I am just discovering these things in my silver-haired years. Better late than never though. I just hope I can contribute my little bit to sex education to a younger generation.