"To All The Girls I've Loved Before" Sing Along

I've been musical all my life, from boy soprano, through church choir, when my voice broke to bass-baratone. Then a folk music trio in high school, then later a gospel quartet, and some solo work.

So often a mathematical mind goes hand-in-hand with music, and I find music and songs going round in my head most times of the day.

Having written recently about Lust Lost and Found, Ten Out Of Ten  (year in review) and earlier about my Little Black Spreadsheet, and during this Covid voluntary self 'isolation', I've picked up on brushing up on some programming skills (HTML and CSS), I thought it was time to collect some statistics and put together a 'tag cloud', of sexual encounters over the last 15 years.

With Hal David's song "To All The Girls I've Loved Before" (performed variously by Willie Nelson, Julio Iglesias, et al) as my inspiration:-

To All The Girls I've Loved Before (2007-2021)

Notes: # of encounters is in brackets; Hover over a name to get the name of the establishment(s).
Click the ☝ next to a name to go to posts on The Cunning Linctus blog about the subject lady!

Amanda (1) Mai (1) ☝ Montana (1)
May (1) Britney (1) ☝ Amanda (1) Yumi (1) Yuri (1) Lilly (1) Kim (1) Anna (1) Windy (1) Mayar (1) Yuri (1) 'anon' (1) Gigi (1) Sakura (1) Niko (1)
Crystelle (1) Jordan (1) Josie (1) Tiffany (1) Trish (1) Jessica (1) Aysha (5) ☝ 'anon' (1) CoCo (1) Coco & Sophie (1) Hanni (1) Kay (1) Naomi (1)
Celina (1) Simone (1) Victoria (1) Jessie (1) Rebecca (4) Meghan (9) ☝ Crystal (3) Pattie (1) Angelique (1) Laura (1) Sonia (1) Roxy (1)
Kim (3) ☝ Jade (3) Sandy (4) Crystal (10) Daniella (19) ☝ Chanel (9) ☝ Alex (3) Jade (3) Jane (3)
Sam (3) ☝ Emma (2) ☝ April (15) ☝ Ruby (45) ☝ Kaz (14) ☝ Kaycee (3) Jane (3)
Angela (2) Brenda (2) Sienna (2) Amber (8) ☝ Grace (12) ☝ Veronica (6) ☝ Tori (2) Diane (2) Eva (2)
Anastasia (1) Ella (2) Jess (2) ☝ Linda (2) Zoya (2) May (2) Phoenix (2) Isabella (2) Candice (2) Marley (2) Jemma (1)
Belle (1) Cristal-Hot-Babe (1) ☝ Jenny (1) Sylvan (1) Vanessa (1) Nicki (2) Vanessa (1) ☝ Kelly (1) ☝ Roxy (1) Pako (1) Jennifer (1)
Nikita (1) Dior (1) Foxy (1) Michelle (1) Simone & Veronica (1) Cassie (1) Montana (1) Simone (1) Imogen (1) Kim (1) Mandy (1) Celeste (1)

Click the badge to see who else Sings Along
on Wicked Wednesday.

Elust #145 - Merry Kissmas

 (This post reproduced per the conditions of acceptance of a post link for publication)

Image courtesy of Sara Bella.

Welcome to Elust 145.

Elust is the only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #146? Start with the rules, come back January 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!  

Erotic Fiction

Snowy Woods
Abduction game
Shower time with Lizzy
Droit de Seigneur 23
Christmas Eve Treat
Exploring Loose Morals Online

Erotic Non Fiction

Return Of Slut's Buddy
On The Edge of a Knife
2021: Year in Review
Merry Kissmas
Cum Let Me Warp Your Brain and Reprogram You
Happy New Year 2022!

Books and Movies

Top 20 Sexiest (& Romantic) Movies of ALL Time to Binge Watch

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

4 Hot Roleplays You Can Do At Home

Lust Lost and Found

This post is a rework of "Lustless" posted in Feb. 2019.

Can Something You Never Had be LOST?

With my girlfriend at the time, lust wasn't exactly 'lost', rather it never developed. I guess you couldn’t have found two more neophytes as far as sex was concerned, when we started dating. First serious relationship for both of us. No sexual experience. I was from an up-tight religious background, and my girlfriend was from a broken home, living with a protective mother. Add to this her serious medical condition. Our courtship involved a lot of joint volunteering, caring and charity type activities. We were young, optimistic and idealistic. As far fetched as it sounds, we really were 25 year old virgins in the ‘age of Aquarius’ when we married.

Due to poor time planning and travel, the wedding night was sexless (not that unusual apparently). We only had a long-weekend due to study commitments, but a full honeymoon was planned in the semester break. But our sexual initiation this first weekend was very fumbly and definitely less than lustful. 

Back at our new apartment, between settling in and study, our sexual start to married life wasn't improving. Five weeks later, we went on our formal ‘honeymoon’. But daily travelling and a different bed every night, left our “honeymoon” sexless.

Our first six months was a very fumbling, intermittent sex life. Between women’s issues and her other health problems 2 or 3 times a month, sex was infrequent and mediocre. I think there was one very good encounter when I took the whole day off and we spent half the day in bed, mostly in fore-play, finally achieving successful coitus. Whilst my wife enjoyed extended foreplay, she was mostly not comfortable going below the waist. In month’s 7 to 12, despite moving into a house from the 1 bedroom apartment, sex virtually ceased, with my wife no longer able to relax enough to allow penetration - vaginismus, ‘frozen vagina’.

Over the next couple of years, the vaginismus subsided, but her health problem meant that we visited hospital ER more often than we had sex (4-5 times per year). As for quality, “Think of England”.

We finally found a medical specialist that was somewhat supportive of us starting a family by carefully reducing medication by half and closely monitoring my wife's medical condition. It was a matter of treading the fine line between the congenital danger of high dose meds. and the dangers of a low dosed medical condition. Using the Billings method, conception was achieved in 3 months. Wow, sex, whether she wanted to or not, once a month for 3 months - the most frequent sex in our married life before (or since). The 9 months of pregnancy went smoothly health-wise, though sex was off. Then life was hit for a six when our child was born with multiple congenital conditions requiring immediate life-saving surgery, then full repair and follow-up surgeries over the next 5 years.

The first couple of years post natal, were sexless. I guess conjugal relations were of such a low priority, that the years slipped by. In hindsight,  I estimate that over 20 years, we averaged between 0 and 2 times per year.

At around the 30 year mark, we were empty-nesters, mortgage paid and a comfortable career. My wife’s medical condition had settled a little. I started pressing/encouraging increased (resumed?) sexual activity, but with little success. It seemed to be a matter of “Well, if you really must. Hop on and get it over with” - hardly encouraging - 'sympathy sex' at best. I backed off somewhat and tried to get her interested in mutual masturbation, but there was no interest - touching ‘down there’ was off limits, and oral was abhorrent to her.

Eventually, I got her to talk about our situation, but all I got was “I just don’t enjoy sex and never have”. Well, after that smack in the face, I promised that I would never ‘bother’ her about it again, and I haven’t.

It was 3-4 years later, that she started to open up a bit more about her childhood. It seems that her introduction to sex was as a pre-teen, hearing her drunken alcoholic father having his way with his wife and hearing her mother pleading to be left alone. Even in the 1960’s, a woman was still her husband’s chattel and conjugal rights were expected. "Rape in marriage" was inconceivable by definition of ‘marriage’.

After a few months, she asked her mother about it, and she had her first ‘lesson’ in sex-ed, including rape. The ancients described this as "The sins of the father will be visited on his children to the 3rd and 4th generation" (Ex.20:5, Num.14:18, Deu.5:9).

Never a truer statement has been made, than "The must important sexual organ is the one between our ears"!

So that just leaves me. When we vow “For better or worse, in sickness and health”, I guess we all assume that the worse and sickness will only be a small percentage of married life. How one deals with and transcends the "worse" is a measure of your character and depth of love. Our relationship had virtually declined into ‘patient and carer’. Any hope of 'normal' marital sex was totally LOST! I started going through bouts of depression. Who cares for the carer? It was through discussions with a friend at work, that I started to realise that there was no point in just blaming circumstances for one’s unhappiness. I had to take responsibility for my own happiness, thinking outside the square of societal conventions. The Good Book tells us to ‘Love your neighbour as yourself’ - I had been taught the first half all my childhood, but not really much about loving myself - that was always seen as being ‘selfish’.

And so I ‘bit the bullet’ and started taking some occasional ‘me time’ with some ‘Ladies Of Pleasure’. I had tried once before on a business trip, but it was over in a couple of minutes and I remember thinking "Is that all there is!". But this time, I was lucky to find a kind, more mature lady, that was very understanding of my situation and led and guided me through a lovely time.

FOUND

And so it was that in my mid-50s, I FOUND what I had never had. Through a forum of men in situations like myself, I learned about brothels and private sex workers, of the wide range of services available and of all the different types ladies, from 'star-fish' to nymphos. With some delightful ladies, I discovered/learned about the differences between women and men's arousal patterns, of pleasuring a woman, how mutual enjoyment can be far better than individual pleasure, that love and sex can coexist separately. I learned the difference between love-sex and fun-sex. I learned how humor and laughter can enhance the sexual experience. I learned to give and receive oral for the first time - I've had some wonderful teachers. I've learned about Booty Buddies, Friends With Benefits and Sugar Daddys. OMG I feel so embarrassed to be confessing my sexually deprived upbringing.

In the anonymity and privacy of brothel pillow talk, I have had ladies confide things they might not even share with a BFF, of their likes and dislikes as far as client behaviour is concerned, and I've learned a lot about fellow men's lack of sexual education, experience and confidence - just like me. So I set about to write a BLOG about what I was learning, of personal experiences and educational essays, then later fictional pieces.

For others in situations like mine, I wrote "A Lustless Relationship Survivors Memorial".

I've found fulfillment in my writing, of bringing pleasure and sex-positive knowledge to a wider community. And I've found a wonderful community of fellow writers, that support and encourage.

Losing IT Again

But with age, I discovered declining libido, of Erectile Dis-function. Then we add on prostate cancer and the impact of roast prostate by radiotherapy and how that leads to further ED, lower libido, loss of ejaculation ability and lowered tactile sensation.

But I'm working on IT. With regular ED meds. and regular self-love and trial 'test drives', all is not completely lost, if not totally re-found! Never is there a truer saying than "Use it or lose it!".

Click this badge to see

who else has Lost and/or Found
Wicked things on Wednesday!

Nipple Nibble

 

The BoobDay meme rules state that it is "in honour of chests and breasts of all shapes and sizes belonging to all types of folks" so I thought it was about time I contributed.

Now my ED means that natural penile arousal is rare, but it seems almost as compensation, my nipples seem to be aroused 12 hours a day, and I'm sure my Viagra dose includes a little nipple erection too.

OMG, I could do with some nipple nibble right now as I write this post.

Happy "Boob Day" all you nipple lovers!

Elust #143 - Oh God, I'm Cumming

 (This post reproduced per the conditions of acceptance of a post link for publication)

Image courtesy of Milady and Oz.

Welcome to Elust 143.

Elust is the only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions, it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #144? Start with the rules, come back December 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

Erotic Fiction

Oh God, I'm Cumming

Cuck Envy

Daddy Comfort

Punishment

The Cycle

The Dinner Date

Witchy Pegging Session- A Domination Duo

Locktober – Trick or Treat

Titrate My Urges: Chapter 1 (Untitled, Unpublished Novel Excerpt)

Erotic Non Fiction

Creating The Best Day

The Queen Will Mindfuck You Now…

Hard to get out of bed, sometimes

Anal Action Duo with Vanessa and Mr & Mrs S Couple

The Doctor Will See You Now

Kinky Devils. Torturegarden Halloween Party

State of the World

Sex Work Is Work – But So Many Forces Are Working Against It

Shame That Is Not Our Own

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

8 Small Penis Humiliation Ideas To Make Subs Cry

Honey Birdette Spreader Bar

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

4 Toys That Stimulate the Internal Clitoris

Ghosting, Breadcrumbs, and Gaslighting

Never TMI (Too Much Information) About Happiness!

(Image 'dreamstime.com')

1. Do you feel that happiness is luck or is it a practiced mindset?

Happiness is definitely not just about luck. Sure there is luck in what we start with and luck (good and bad) impinges on our progress through life.  But the journey of growing happiness and overcoming the down-turns of life, is definitely about mindset! Practice, practice, practice!

2. If you could transport to the happiest place in the world where would you be?

Frankly, the happiest place in the world is where I am right now. Sure there are transiently happy places, particularly on holidays, but for ongoing happiness - right here, now. An important part of happiness is being satisfied with what you have if your basic needs are met. A constant search for 'more' and the greener grass on the other side of the hill, is the classic recipe for unhappiness.

I live in the outer suburbs of the beautiful city of Melbourne Australia. The weather is temperate (Mediterranean) with daily average maximum temperatures between 12 and 25C. Average rainfall is 25" pa. Being on the south coast, we do get some winter icy blasts from the antarctic, and in summer extreme hot northerly winds blow in across central Australia, so summer heat waves can reach 40C. We are blessed with some of the finest, healthiest fresh food in the world.

I live in a Retirement Village (independent living, NOT nursing home) and it is all about Lifestyle. From the community centre with library, indoor bowls, billiards, gymnasium, cafe, bar, kitchen, 'treatment' room for hairdresser, massage, podiatrist. Then there are the organized activities and classes, Friday Happy Hour, line dancing, pilates, card nights, craft group, dinner dances, events and available for private functions.

The very active Social Committee organizes one or two monthly events, alternating between in-house and excursions. Pre-covid, they organised short holiday trips for groups of residents. The 'green fingers' run the communal vegetable gardens, the wood-workers (male and female) have a large well equipped workshop, where apart from personal projects, make equipment and furniture for a disabled organization. The sewing ladies have a project sewing 'splints' for the disabled.

For the more physical, there are walking and cycling groups and the golfers.

All units are wheel-chair accessible and wired with monitored personal alarm system. I have home-care assistance come in once a week to help me care for Lady T. The grounds are flat and free of steps, for easy wheel-chair and mobility scooter access

For more personal intimate needs, there are 12 brothels within a 12km radius, so plenty of opportunities for "Happy Endings".

3. In 2022, what will you do to improve your health?

Two years of Covid and lockdowns have taken their toll. Dr. tells me I have to cut back on carbs. and increase exercise to avoid getting to a pre-diabetic stage. Dealing with lower sexual function post prostate cancer radiotherapy is a constant process of regular meds. and regular 'sexercise' - 'use it or lose it'.

4. What is your money psychology?

a. Money worshipper:
b. Money avoidance:
c. Money vigilance:
d. Money status:

I am essentially 'money vigilant'. Coming from a contract IT career, there have been regular periods of no work, so putting aside for the inevitable 'rainy days' has been my modus operandi. I have also grown up with a charitable philosophy of "Live simply so that others may simply live!". Australia's excellent compulsory superannuation scheme forces every worker to save toward their retirement. So I find myself a retired man of 'independent means', a self-funded retiree.

Bonus: Do you have any goals for your blog in 2022?

My 'sex blog' activity has been slowing and will continue at that rate into 2022, mainly on fiction (due mostly on fewer personal experiences to draw on).

But I do want to create a new 'nom de plume' in 2022 and sign up to Medium and start writing about other interests, politics, philosophy, religion and IT related stuff.

Wishing you all Health and Happiness (and hopefully some Wealth and Success in 2022)!