Occasionally we read about those early teen years of discovery, perhaps of illicit liaisons. But we seldom read of the other end of life. Sure we hear of changes during menopause, and of course there is the perpetual whinging of married men saying their wives have lost their libido. Erectile Dis-function gets an occasional mention, but Viagra and Cialis take care of that.
Loss of male libido can have psychological or medicinal causes. But outright physical loss of sexual desire (lust) and function, just silently slides under the covers.
My ED started at around 60 and I posted "Sex and Aging". But Viagra ushered in a new era for me, but orgasm/ejaculation was less, partly due to the Viagra effects. By age 65, I blogged "As Lust Fades". At 69, prostate cancer was detected - I opted for radiotherapy, since prostatectomy was more likely to cause impotency. The treatment was a breeze and I celebrated every week of "The 39 Days".
In the 2 years since the radiotherapy, the cancer appears to have gone. But sexual function and libido have just about died. At first, it wasn't just inability to orgasm from sex, but sensitivity and feeling was declining. Add in condoms for transactional sex, the old adage of it being like taking a shower in a rain-coat, was all too true. With the prostate having been zapped, its functionality has declined so the volume of ejaculate is not much more than a dribble. Further, I have found the ED has worsened to the point where even a maximum dose of Viagra doesn't produce a workable erection. Neither porn nor masturbation can produce an erection.
The Urologist suggested that a mechanical implant could help (rod or inflatable balloon), but with no willing partner, no feeling sensations, and no orgasms, there is no point. Alas, Paradise has been lost.
Fortunately, the tongue is still in good working order. But I can't bring myself to pay $300/hr for a kiss and cuddle.
Vale, Sir Lust
Alas Sir Lust, I knew him well, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He has borne me on his bed a thousand times, and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My ire rises at it. Here hang those balls that have been kissed I know not how oft. Where be thy thrusts now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the whores on a roar? No one now to mock your limp dangling?
(PS. So what happens to this blog now with the loss of inspiration? Well I still have lots of memories to draw on so I will probably defer to fictional erotic writing.)
(Click to see who else is posting Food For Though about Libido)