The Penis Conspiracy! Who Cums First?

I've just been compiling a Table of Contents and I noticed that although I have written about Female Orgasms and pleasuring ladies with Cunnilingus, I have never written about the male side of things, although I did touch on some aspects writing about ED and Prostate Cancer. The other trigger for this post, has been the knowledge gaps and misunderstanding I hear from Working Ladies (of Pleasure) about their clients (as related to me in our pillow chats).

The Penis Conspiracy and the Mythology of Sex!

The biggest mistake of classical Sex Education, is treating sex as primarily anatomical. They teach about the basic mechanics of genitals and processes of reproduction. But they fail to say that the largest sex organ in the body is the one between our ears. And its not just the brain's involvement in arousal, sensory feelings and hormonal responses, but interpersonal attitudes affect how sexual relationships will play out.

"I think Walt Disney creates a lot of mythology," says Seth Prosterman, PhD, (a clinical sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist). "In Disney movies, people fall in love and walk into the sunset, and you get this myth that intimacy is a given once you fall in love, and sexuality is natural and follows that." (ref.) In reality, says Prosterman, "Sex is something that we learn throughout a lifetime."

Unfortunately, all men start their sexual life DIY which is entirely penis focused on the man achieving an erection and orgasm. Sadly, many men carry this into their sexual relationship with a partner through their entire adult life, never growing 'up', leaving their partner high and dry, unfulfilled. Then these men wonder why their marital sex life slowly dries up.

A lot of sexual language is male oriented. Fucking is something the male 'does' to a women. He 'gives' her an orgasm or 'gives' her a baby. As a sex positive blogger I have to be very careful about the words I write and the underlying message of what my words are conveying.

Men are generally NOT taught that men's and women's arousal processes are different. Men's primary stimulation is visual and fast, whereas women's primary stimulation is emotional (romantic) and tactile and builds gently. Further, women's arousal focus is NOT vagina centric, but clitoral centric from the head/glans, behind the labia to the 'G' spot (see below).

She Cums First

As a boy, I was brought up with manners and respect - one held a door open for a lady to let her go first - a bit 'sexist' the feminists will claim. But as I've aged and grown sexually, my mantra for good sex is "She cums first!".

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Even in the transactional sex world I am relegated to, with the wonderful ladies I have built a FWB relationship with, the same still applies. Sure, as a broad principle, sex work is male centric (he is paying after all) and many ladies deliberately don't want to have any sexual response of their own, but when played like a lover, their body can't help but respond. I remember one lady I saw just 2 days into her SW experience - I had gone down her and the old Tongue Engine had elicited a strong orgasm. When she recovered, she was quite shocked and said, "Oooh!!! Am I allowed to do that?". 

Many ladies go into SW after a broken relationship, hoping to satisfy their own sexual needs and earn some money at the same time - but mostly they are disappointed - 90% of the guys just want to 'get their rocks off', some don't even talk to them. But there is that 10% with whom they might find pleasure of their own if they haven't become too jaded yet. I've quoted one lady in a number of posts - running down the corridor when she sees me come in, throws her arms around me and says "Thank God its you. I've had a shitty day and I need some me time!".

Delayed Gratification and a Pleasure Shared

Men have to learn the importance of 'delayed gratification'. By focusing on your lady's arousal and pleasure first, at her peak she will be anxious to pleasure you to a mutual climactic completion. "A pleasure shared is a pleasure doubled, not halved!".

If my BLOG readership is any gauge, the message is getting out and many men are wanting to learn how to pleasure their partner with cunnilingus, the dos, the don'ts and expectations. Those posts, approximately 2% of all my posts, attract around 10% of all views.

This post is focused on traditional cis-gender hetero relationships. LGBQT, D/S and many kink activities have already addressed this issue.

Conclusion

So I hope I have given my male readers something to think about, good sex starts in the brain after all. And to my lady readers, I hope you understand now the 'penis conspiracy' you are up against and you have found some encouragement in how to guide and teach your man to find pleasure together.

 

Sexual Independence Day - Hot Rodding Mai (2007)

Content Warning! Contains graphic sexual descriptions, originally written as a personal journal for private use.

An Old (2007) FOTM Journal

I was going through some old archives on my computer recently in an 'iso' cleanup moment, and came across the following in my old FOTM Journal from 2007 (this was before my BLOG). OMG, 2007 - checking my diary, I see that Mai was only the 3rd LOP I had the pleasure of after finally giving up on a lustless marriage, and diving into the world of transactional sex. After Mai, I was well and truly hooked. Wow, is this what marital sex was supposed to be like? Woo; Hoo; Celebration!!! Sexual Independence Day! "Happy New Year Life"!

---xxxXxxx---

The Need For a Quickie

"It is a Wednesday evening in the middle of January (2007) and I really need a fuck. I think I'll try out 'Night Moves', a cheaper Asian 'jìyuàn' (brothel) in Melbourne's eastern suburbs. It is an old house in an industrial area. I park around the back and go and knock on the door. The "mamasan" is quite young and brusk. She takes me straight to a bedroom to meet the available girls. She quotes me the prices and I ask for a "quickie" 20 minute 'xìngjiāo'.

The room is very basic, really in need of tarting up.  A mirror across the bedhead has a crack. A curtain hangs off the end of the curtain rail.  No luxury here. The shower 'cubicle' in the corner is so small, that if I drop the soap, I will have to open the door to bend over to pick it up.

The Introduction

The girls file in and introduce themselves in very broken English that I can barely understand.  Mamasan comes back and asks who I would like.  I ask for Mai, a very small, slightly built Chinese girl.  I quickly shower in the corner cubicle.  I am drying off when Mai comes in.  Even small talk is very difficult with her poor English.

Before I can even get to her, she has slipped her clothes off.  Her head barely reaches the top of my chest. I pull her to me.  She apologies that she is so small, as I touch her breasts - just rather prominent erect nipples with no breast to speak of at all.  She starts to rub her body against me.  I can feel her public hair against my rising cock.  I run my hands down her back and over her bum.  After more rubbing, my erection is full and Mai steps back, unwraps a condom and kneels down to roll it on me (Ed. this was before I needed Viagra - oh the memories of a natural hard-on).  She then starts to give me head.  She is straight forward and fast, no real deep throat.

Impaled

After a couple of minutes of sucking, I don't want a blow job,  I help her stand up.  We are still standing beside the bed.  She is so small and light, I have an idea.  I place my hands under her arm pits and lift her up and impale her straight onto my waiting hot rod - she was already hot and wet and receptive.  Her legs wrap around my waist.  She lets out a little giggle and an "Oooh!". A new move for her?

"Ooooh, Yeah!" Hot Rodded (not Mai though)

She proceeds to lift her body up and down, quite fast, fucking me like a bitch on heat.  She is so light, it is no effort at all.  We fuck for a couple of minutes but I don't want to come this quickly, so I lift her off and lie her back on the bed.

I get a good look at her now, spreadeagled before me.  Her skin is china white.  Her erect nipples are dark brown with no discernible areola and virtually no swelling boobs.  Her pubes are unshaven with just a small black 'landing strip'.  Her labia petals are swelling open already. 

"Avante"

Mai lifts her arms to me, inviting me to enter her.  I reach me hand to her fanny, but she takes it away, drawing me down.  I slide up her tiny body until my cock is 'kissed' by her hot, wet, waiting labia, and I easily slip straight in.  I no sooner have my prick in her kitty, than she starts to fuck, fast.  Her cunt is tight and I feel her muscles wrapped around my rod as she thrusts, up and down, back and forth, fucking, fucking, fucking.  With each withdrawal, I feel her pussy lips sucking my cock back in.  I know this is going to be a quickie. 

I pull back, sliding out of her ravishingly hot depths and roll her onto her stomach.  I lift her thighs to my height and kneel behind her.  I feel for her fanny with my fingers, but Mai is already gaping in anticipation.  She wriggles her bum back until her slick cunt slides onto my aching, waiting rod.  We start to fuck again, she’s rocking her whole body, backward onto me, then forward, her tight twat gripping the tip of my cock with her lips, not letting me slip out, then she thrusts back onto me, her bum slapping into me lap.

Raw Lust - Hot Rodding Mai

Our pace quickens, fuck, slap; in, out; thrust, suck.  Boy she is a good fucker, like a rooting rabbit.  Her pussy is super hot now, even through my condom.  My rod is stiffening even harder and tingling.  I can feel my cum rising in my shaft.  I want to come.  I need a quickie tonight.  I fuck harder and faster till my prick can hold it no longer.  With a final thrust and slap, I ram my cock as far up Mai's cunt as I can and hold her, slamming against her cervix. Her kegel muscles clamp tightly around me trying to suck the cum out of me.  My hands are around her small chest tweaking her nipples.  My cock is throbbing, pulsing, then there is a flood of warmth as my cum fills my rubber.  I hold there for a minute as the last of my spasms subsides and her kegels finally relax their grip. Definitely an 8.5 on the 'fuchter' scale. No "Girl Friend Experience", no 'connection', no kissing, no oral on her, just pure, raw lustful fucking.

Mai quickly pulls off me and walks around the bed. I sit on the side as she quickly cleans me up with a handful of tissues.  I shower and dress. I don't think I got my full 20 minutes, but it was an awesome, quickie hot fuck.  Mai is a consummate professional prostitute.  Get the money, get him up quickly and fuck hard and fast."

---xxxXxxx---

My 'Number' - Measuring Up

I generally don't like to dwell on numbers, but less than 50 times in 35 years of marriage (and barely 10% of those enjoyable)? WTF? Why/how did I wait so long? I guess marriage can survive (just) on care and love alone. Compare that to 300+ times (they are $250/hr after all, not live-in arrangements) with about 100 different wonderful, hot ladies, some outright nymphomaniacs, in 13 years. 

What Does the Future Hold?

But here I am now at 72, with post prostate cancer radiotherapy ED. What will 2021 hold? I will continue my trial 'treatment' of regular low-dose Viagra tablets, with a high dose boost when needed. I have some very understanding regular LOPs, with whom I can go for a 'test drive'. Perhaps the memories of Mai might give me a little extra stimulation. I do have 13 years of wonderful memories to reminisce over, even if I can't get a 'hot rod' anymore just reading them!

Click to see who else has been wicked this Wednesday!

Thank God It's You

This post is a rework of "That Smile" from 2013, to Tell You About ... Desire!

When it comes to 'desire', I have a genetic predisposition - I am a male of a certain age (17-70). The degree of desire does vary with relationship status and age. By my late 50's, being in a sexless marriage and relying on sex workers for my sexual pleasure, I found that I could last 3 weeks before the urges started to build up, but by the 4th week, I had 'blue balls' and the urge became an ache.

Now the average sex worker is in it for the money, not her own sexual desire. But occasionally one meets a gem who enjoys the sex as much as or sometimes more than the money. I immediately put her on my 'regulars' speed dial. Daniella is one such regular.

On the day in question, my ache is bad. My favourite brothel is near my home rail station, so I arrive just after 6pm. I had been seeing Daniella, my Moroccan Maid, regularly for a while. I was her last client for the day. When she saw me come in, she ran down the corridor, threw her arms around me, plants a passionate kiss, and says, "Thank God it's you. I've had a shitty day and I need some 'me' time".

With the preliminaries finished quickly, we welcome each other passionately. I quickly go down on her so the Tongue Engine can start to deliver some 'me' time. Her cunni linctus tastes as sweet as honey and my honey Daniella is really 'buzzing'. Finally, in desperation (?) she jumps me and rides me like a woman possessed, possessed with a need, the desire to be fucked, hard, to be filled, to come and come hard on me.  She twists and grinds on me, working her clit hard against my pubes, until she comes, with that deep down vaginal orgasm, that starts by clenching 'little Tom' tightly, then with spasms that spread to her thighs and legs, squeezing around me, then up her body, tensing, throwing her head back.  With such glorious, intense sensations coursing through my body too, I can't help but come with her.

Then she collapses across my chest.  Her gorgeous breasts crushed between us, her chest heaving in exhaustion, her whole body glowing with the sheen of perspiration. And she looks into my eyes with the most contented, serene smile I have ever seen. It was almost like the Cheshire Cat that got the cream (well it was my cream actually).

We lie together, she on top of me, for a couple of minutes as we catch our breaths, then she rolls off into the crook of me arm, and says, "I'm fucked.  I needed that.  I could just go to sleep in your arms".

Thanks Daniella.  You certainly know how to make a man feel like he is desired as the greatest lover in the world.

That smile?  Eat your heart out Mona Lisa!

(Click to see who else is desirable/desiring!)

Post Script

Seven year later, I am no longer of that 'certain age'. Post prostate radiotherapy, the urges of desire are now but a warm memory.

Further, with Covid-19 pandemic lock-down, all our bordellos have been closed since March 2020 and probably won't open again till about June 2021. The city of Melbourne might have managed to crush its 2nd wave of Covid, but we are still having to live in a Covid safe society. So sex with masks at approved social distance, just doesn't have any appeal.