N.O. - No!!! (#AtoZChallenge)

As sex bloggers, we celebrate "Yes! Yes! Yeeeees!!!!"

In the sub-genre of Kink and BDSM though, "No!" or a 'safe word' is equally important, primarily to avoid injury, but also to communicate a boundary of comfort.

Image from pixabay.com

But in all human relationships, respecting each others boundaries is important. In this time of Corona Virus quarantine and isolation, sadly there has been a rise in family violence. In marriage and committed relationships, there must always be 'give and take', or recognition and respect of each others differing boundaries. Sadly, there are still some men that think "she must give" and "I will take". In my own marriage, I wanted the traditional wording of "taking" each other, to be reversed to "giving" of ourselves to the other.

Unfortunately, the fantasy of romantic love often includes the concepts of being swept off your feet by your knight in shining armour and being taken away to his castle to live happily every after. At the heights of sexual ecstasy, utterances of wanting to be 'taken' or 'possessed' are common. But these are just enjoyable, emotional fantasies of the moment and are not constructive in mundane, day to day life.

In marriage IRL, "No!" means "No!". Sadly, it's only been in the last 30-40 years that "rape in marriage" has finally been recognized and a wife is no longer her husband's chattel, well at least here in Oz and some other countries. Sadly, there are still places and cultures where the male has all the power - please remember to pray for these oppressed women. 

As I moved into the world of transactional sex, enforcement of boundaries is even more important and has a contractual type basis. Sadly, there are still too many men that treat these Ladies of Pleasure as objects for their use and constantly try to push those boundaries. Worse are the creeps that traffic young women into their service where they aren't even permitted to utter the word "No!".

As sex bloggers, we must always remember the fine line we walk between being sex positive and remembering and respecting those who do not have such freedom.

 
Click to see who else is taking the challenge.