Monday, 7 March 2022

Is That All There Is? Back in My Day!

"Back in my day" there was no internet, no BLOGs, no word-processors, hell no personal computers. I learned to type by punching programs onto Hollerith cards. I had to write my thesis (300 pages) long-hand and send it off to be typed. I then wrote corrections in blue pencil and sent pages back for retyping. "Cut and Paste" was literally "Paper, Scissors, Clag"!

Unfortunately my teen sex life was similarly old fashioned DIY. Married life started 'not with a bang but a whimper' (yes, we were 25yo virgins in the Age of Aquarius, back in those days). 

One day in 1982, I had to fly across the country to Perth for work (a 2,700km flight), and took the opportunity for my first visit to a brothel. It was only one day's work and the flight home wasn't till midnight (the 'Red Eye'). Bored and horny, I went to a porn theatre after work. But that only made me feel worse. In the phone booth in the foyer I found several cards advertising sexual services. I selected a brothel in the general direction of the airport and hailed a taxi.

"The Brothel" by Vincent Van Gogh

It was a nondescript house in a suburban street. The interior was typical suburban 1970's nondescript. I remember I had my work briefcase with me, which the madam asked to search. In the room, ablutions consisted of a bowl of warm soapy water and a hand wash by the lady (no shower or spa bath like we find these days). The girl was nice enough, not that I remember much. I was as nervous as a kitten - I was only a couple months out of virginhood. The 'dom went on and the deed was over in under a minute - talk about premature ejaculation. I don't remember much else.

I do remember walking out thinking, "Is that all there is?". After all the stories of glitz and glamour and fabulous sexual adventures in brothels - is that all there is?

The $27 charge was low enough that I put the credit-card receipt through work as a dinner expense!

Well it was another 25 years of marital sex sliding from bad to sympathy to zero, before I took the plunge into brothel sex again, and finally my real sex education began. But that's another story, or rather BLOG of stories.

3 comments:

  1. You had me laughing at your declaring the $27 for dinner expenses!
    ~ Marie xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The proprietor's name on the receipt was sufficiently esoteric that it passed as a restaurant name. Sadly I never got to munch on some muffin or dine at the Y!

      Delete
  2. Great post Sir T - very entertaining :-)
    May x

    ReplyDelete

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