Saturday, 17 July 2021

Coitus Interruptus

The prompt for '4ThoughtsOrFiction' this week is "Bedroom Bloopers", and there is nothing more likely to interrupt coitus than a phone call.

Bedroom Bloopers
'Break her bed, not her heart!'*
In my first story, I never even got to the bedroom. I had been seeing a Lady Of Pleasure, TM, regularly for a while and we had exchanged telephone numbers. This was back when Lady Thomas could mostly care for herself during the day and I was still working and taking occasional 'long lunches' with various LOPs. On this particular day, our work team was out to lunch and I was sitting next to my boss, when my phone rings - it was TM asking if I was coming to see her today. I explained that I was at a work lunch and wouldn't be able to get there.

Several months later, I was having a 'long lunch' with another LOP and was naked and about to get into bed, when TM rang again, so I had to make up some apology.

Well the 'relationship' with TM developed when she retired from sex work and asked if I would like to continue seeing her privately in a 'booty buddy' type of arrangement, which I took up. One particular appointment had to be cancelled due to a severe storm that damaged the roof of her house. So I saw her the next morning and after a couple of wonderful hours in the bedroom, we were reclining in the lounge sipping chai lattes, she in just a robe and I was mostly dressed ready to go to work. The dogs started barking and there was a knock on the door. It was the plumber sent by the estate agent, come to inspect the storm damage. Ooops! Almost 'bedroom blooper'! With slight embarrassment, I pulled on my shoes and slipped on my coat, bidding my buddy a discreet farewell while she showed the plumber where the damage was. To add to my 'blooper', I forgot to leave my 'gift' (sorted that out the next day).

With age, retirement and Lady Thomas' declining health, my opportunities for 'me time' declined - I had to resort to squeezing an extra half hour onto the occasional shopping trip (I have written elsewhere about my lustless, sexless marriage). My home life was now mostly about being her carer.

On one occasion, I was up to my balls in a wonderful LOP, when there was an urgent phone call. LT was ringing to ask "Will you be home soon? I'm busting and need a hand to go to the toilet". Fortunately, my LOP was very understanding and our time was just about up, so after a quick shower and cuddle goodbye, I returned to home duties.

In the last month or so, LT is going through a number of other health issues (eyes, shoulder, legs, bowels), that my 'carer' duties have progressed to effectively nursing. With disturbed nights, lack of sleep and busy days, 'me time' is almost zero. With low enthusiasm and my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-gone, it is now effectively 'blogger interruptus'! It's 9am and LT has fallen asleep after a sleepless night, so I get an hour to squeeze out this post.

* I found this photo in a simple Google image search. It has appeared in a number of memes but I was unable to find its origin.

Click the badge to see who else
has had 'Bedroom Bloopers'.


  1. It is funny how many almost bedroom bloopers one can think of - I have a scorcher of one - just need to write it up
    May x

  2. life often has a way of getting in the, well....way. I hope you get some time for you soon. I commend you for taking care of Lady Thomas :)

    1. Thnx Unk. I wish it was that simple, what with my own health issues - age and prostate related ED - see other posts.


Comments, feedback and discussion is always welcome. But please understand that there will be about a day's delay for moderation.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


A-to-Z Challenge (20) aging (21) andropause (6) anger (1) arousal (5) au naturale (4) Australian kiss (3) average (1) bare-back (3) begging (2) benefits (6) bloopers (1) blow job (3) breakfast (4) buddy (15) carer (6) changing (1) choices (8) Christmas (2) client (13) coitus (3) conversation (16) cosplay (2) cunnilingus (25) DATY (21) depression (9) Desire (3) DFF (1) DFK (1) e[lust] (30) ejaculation (5) embarrassment (4) erectile dysfunction (16) erections (3) erotic fiction (17) Exhibitionism (1) fellatio (2) fiction (3) Food 4 Thought (3) french kiss (3) french-maid (2) friends-with-benefits (1) fuchter-scale (9) G-spot (1) goodbyes (3) hair-trigger (3) happy-ending (13) health checks (7) help (1) humor (6) insemination (1) Joie de Vivre (2) KinkOfTheWeek (3) lady-of-pleasure (53) laughter (8) legality (3) Libido (3) lichter-scale (5) linctus (15) Lingerie is for Everyone (3) lust (11) lustless (1) masturbation (8) matrimony (7) mindfulness (1) Money (1) monochromerotic (1) moroccan (5) multi-orgasmic (9) not cumming (13) observation (3) orgasmic (24) orgasms (14) paying (12) penetrative sex (6) Photography (5) poetry (4) preferences (10) professional (11) prostate cancer (8) PSE (4) radiotherapy (6) rape-in-marriage (4) raunchy (19) regular (32) reminiscence (12) respect (13) reunion (2) sabbatical (4) scruples (2) seduction (7) senses (1) sex education (5) sex toys (1) Sexmas (1) sexual health (10) sexygenarian (9) squirting (6) starfish (6) STDs (2) stress (1) sympathy sex (4) taboo (1) tastes (10) TMI (1) tongue-engine (12) uncovered (2) vaginal sex (3) viagra (15) Voyeurism (1) Wealth (1) wicked Wednesday (6) Wishes (1) woman-on-woman (2)