The Cunning Linctus: June 2019

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Breakthrough

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It is a neuro-physiological fact that the pleasure centres in the brain, for humour and sex are adjacent, so there is a good reason why we find people with similar sense of humour, attractive. In the bedroom, humorous banter can heighten sexual enjoyment.

The following stories, all true, have appeared in this blog at various times in the past, but I thought it might be good to bring them all together under the common theme.

"I'll Have What She's Having"

A couple of years ago, a lady-of-pleasure I was seeing, had earned the nickname from her co-workers, of "Firecracker" because when she orgasmed, she went "off like a fire-cracker" and she could be heard throughout the building.

Well, one day Sam and I were having a good time and she had had one squealing orgasm with my tongue. Once she had settled down a little, as she was sliding onto me, she had the back of her hand wedged in her mouth. I asked if there was anything wrong.

"I don't want to make too much noise. There might be someone in the waiting room (next door to our bedroom" was her reply.

"Don't worry about it" I said, "You might give them some encouragement".

She giggled, and came back with "I'll have what she's having!".

Well we both cracked up laughing. As I laughed, my cock twitched inside her. This was the last straw for her and she started convulsing on me, laughing, squealing and crying all at the same time. Needless to say, this tipped me over the edge too. This wasn't just a 'happy ending', it was a 'hilarious ending'.

Dirty Ditties

When FB Amazing Grace found out that I wrote a BLOG, she admitted to having fun making up rhymes. So we created a game of 'dirty ditties' and 'fractured fairy tales', taking turns to create a new line starting from an old nursery rhyme, etc. So "Goldie Locks", "Little Red Riding Hood" et al provided many fun rhymes. If a particular 'dirty ditty' had suitable actions, these were acted out as we went. I must say her rollicking laughs as she 'rode a cock horse' sent wonderful ripples right through our connection. Sadly, we have lost contact - I really miss those fun times. I wish I had had a recorder to capture some of those ditties. One I remember, went:-

"Georgie Porgie full of fun,

Licked the girls and made them come.

With lady come on his chin,

He said with a grin,

Oh what a good boy am I"

Although I am a DOM now, I am still a kid at heart, and 'play time' is my favourite time. Which reminds me, we certainly gave "Girls and boys come out to play" a jolly rogering!

So next time someone calls me a 'fuck wit', I will take it as a compliment.

Punishment Play

This isn't humour in the direct laughing sense, but a light-humoured form of role-playing. Miss A uses a game of 'punishing' little infractions. On the way up to the bedroom, she stumbled on the stairs, flashing her knickers, and then said, "Were you peeking up my dress? You will have to be punished for that". Similarly, there will be 'punishment' for 'touching myself' in the shower, and looking at her boobs as she undresses. Typical punishment might be to make me stand in the 'naughty corner' whilst she sucks me off. All just playful fun, no real bondage, although once she did tie my hands to the bed-head with her stockings and draped her fragrant knickers over my face so I couldn't see her 'punish' me by having her way with me.

Role-Play

Another fun-time role-play, although not strictly humour, was with Miss D in a Nun's Habit costume. Rather than reproduce the full story here, visit the post "A Bad Habit".

Unintended Humour

Sometimes, something's said quite innocently, but is quite humorous in the situation.

I was undergoing a period of radiotherapy treatment for prostate cancer. One day, I was lying on the radiotherapy table with my pubes and mid-riff exposed. The female operator was getting me aligned - I have had target marks tattooed on my mid-riff and thighs and a pair of laser beams show the correct alignment. Her cold hands on my thighs push and roll me a little to get alignment right. At which point she says "Beautiful!". I tell her that "Only special ladies are allowed to say that!". I get a little laugh.

A couple of days later, I have the same operator, and she says the same things. This time, I say "Well, thank you!". She says "Your welcome" and we both laugh.

Pillow Banter

Post coital pillow talk is an obvious time for humorous banter when you are both fully relaxed and bodies flooded with feel-good hormones.

Complementary Employment

Often pillow talk with Ladies of Pleasure, turns to the sort of work we do. I asked one particular lady if she had a second job. She told me that she also worked as a receptionist at a Funeral Parlour. "You have a thing about stiffs, do you?" I answered, which brought loud laughter.

Longevity

In a conversation similar to the above, we were talking about marital status. When I told this lady how long I had been married, she asked, "What's your secret to a long marriage?". My answer, "Don't get caught!"

Guess My Age

On another occasion, we were playing the game of trying to guess each others age. I said to Crystal, "Would you believe 48?", to which she tactfully replied, "I would have put you as early 50's". I replied, "No. I mean 1948". (This was over 10 years ago). Shock flashed across her face, and she started counting on her fingers, working out just how much older than her I was. When she realised what she was doing, we laughed and cuddled.

Irony and Humour

In further chatting with the above Funeral Parlour receptionist, she told me of her new boy-friend of 3 months and her issue with the fact that he has yet to make a move to have sex with her (he doesn't know about her sex work). She asked my advice, "What can I do to get my boyfriend to have sex with me?". We had quite a serious conversation about courting, but I couldn't help but have an inward smile about the irony of a sex worker asking her client, how to get her boyfriend to have sex with her.

The Cunning Linctus

Pages

Saturday, 22 June 2019

e[lust] 119 - Laughter The Best Aphrodisiac

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Erotic Non-Fiction

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Erotic Fiction

Writing About Writing

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Poetry

Sunday, 2 June 2019

Laughter, the Best Aphrodisiac