AKA the cunning linguist; AKA el lingüista astuto; AKA Thomas the Tongue Engine; AKA le linguiste adroit; AKA il linguista abile; AKA the cunning linguist; AKA el lingüista astuto; AKA Thomas the Tongue Engine; AKA le linguiste adroit; AKA il linguista abile;

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Wednesday, 20 March 2019

e[lust] 116

(This post reproduced per the conditions of acceptance of a post link for publication)
Elus6 116 Hyacynth Header
Photo courtesy of A Dissolute Life Means
Welcome to Elust 116-
The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #117? Start with the rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 ~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~
The Space Between Us

Language Matters

Extraordinary Hands

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Chips

I believe I can fly.

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

photographie érotique ~ a perspective

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Love Hurts
Lustless
Parity
Relearning How to Masturbate.
My Cunt is Art
Hormones, Anxiety and Menopause

Erotic Non-Fiction

Watching Their Mouth

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

The night I went to a BDSM club
A higher age of consent for bdsm?
Fear

Erotic Fiction

hands up
Do you Dare? After Party Party
The Waiting Game
Vicki's Dream
The Fear Factor
Bloomed Bright
My legs are longer than my patience.

Erotic Non-Fiction

A couple of couples

Blogging

Amazing Love

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Do you really want to hurt me?

Writing About Writing

The Problem with Perfectionism

Elust

Sunday, 17 February 2019

Lustless

Now I know this post doesn't naturally fit in the normal theme of "The Cunning Linctus", but it is a story that needs to be told. Sexual desire (lust, libido) is the basis for procreation, and is intricately tied to our self-image/identity. There are all sorts of reasons why lust can be stunted, so it is important for 'sex positive' writers to take a step back occasionally and gain some understanding of why some people are 'sex negative' - they are not all just evil religious spoilsports.

So, going back 50 years to the start of my relationship with my wife.

Courting

I guess you couldn’t have found two more neophytes when we started dating. First serious relationship for both of us. No sexual experience. I was from an up-tight religious background, and my girlfriend was from a broken home, living with a protective mother. Add to this her serious medical condition. Our courtship involved a lot of joint volunteering, caring and charity type activities. We were young, optimistic and idealistic. As far fetched as it sounds, we really were 25 year old virgins in the ‘age of Aquarius’ when we married.

Wedding and Honeymoon

A mistake we made with our wedding, was travelling a couple of hours to the honeymoon hotel. Due to a late start, no sex that night - not all that unusual I am told for  a wedding night. This ‘1st’ honeymoon was just a long weekend due to study commitments, so there was just one fumbling sexual encounter.

Back at our new apartment,  between settling in and study, our sexual start to married life was not exactly hot and steamy.

Five weeks later, we had planned a 2 week holiday as our formal ‘honeymoon’. But again we misjudged the situation, and daily travelling and a different bed every night, left our “honeymoon” sexless.

Now I know many men would have walked away from the ‘marriage’ at that point claiming non-consummation, but not us.

The Marital Bed

Our first six months was a very fumbling, intermittent sex life. Between women’s issues and her other health problems 2 or 3 times a month, sex was infrequent and mediocre. I think there was one very good encounter when I took the whole day off and we spent half the day in bed, mostly in fore-play, finally achieving successful coitus. Whilst my wife enjoyed extended foreplay, she was mostly not comfortable going below the waist. In month’s 7 to 12, despite moving into a house from the 1 bedroom apartment, sex virtually ceased, with my wife no longer able to relax enough to allow penetration - vaginismus, ‘frozen vagina’.

Over the next couple of years, the vaginismus subsided, but her health problem meant that we visited hospital ER more often than we had sex (4-5 times per year). As for quality, “Think of England”.

Starting a Family

We had discussed starting a family with a number of my wife’s medical specialists, but none were very supportive of the idea. A new specialist discussed the pros and cons with us and the risks involved - the risks to the pregnancy of her medication vs the risks of not being medicated. But he was encouraging and we set about slowly reducing her medication to about half. To achieve pregnancy as quickly as possible, we used the ‘Billings method’ of temperature monitoring to identify her ovulation days. So we were having the most frequent sex of our married life - once a month whether she liked it or not. Conception occurred soon after.
But the joy of the birth was short-lived on discovery of our baby’s own medical condition that would require serious surgeries over the following several years. Any thoughts of further children were quickly put out our minds, and a vasectomy sealed it.

Post Natal Years

The postnatal hormonal changes and half strength medications caused my wife’s condition to flare up badly, so back onto full strength meds. But breastfeeding was thus out of the question.
Some new medications were coming onto the market, so we went through a series of attempts at new meds, but with numerous side effects, and mostly with no improvement in her condition. The one med that showed promise, caused anaemia and massive weight gain.

So add body-image issues to her medical condition, married life wasn’t a bed of rose petals. The first couple of years post natal, were sexless. I guess conjugal relations were of such a low priority, that the years slipped by. In hindsight,  I estimate that over 20 years, we averaged between 0 and 2 times per year.

Empty Nest - Resuscitation or Expiration?

At around the 30 year mark, we were empty-nesters, mortgage paid and a comfortable career. My wife’s medical condition had settled a little. I started pressing/encouraging increased (resumed?) sexual activity, but with little success. It seemed to be a matter of “Well, if you really must. Hop on and get it over with” - hardly encouraging. I backed off somewhat and tried to get her interested in mutual masturbation, but there was no interest - touching ‘down there’ was off limits, and oral was abhorrent to her.
Eventually, I got her to talk about our situation, but all I got was “I just don’t enjoy sex and never have”. Well, after that smack in the face, I promised that I would never ‘bother’ her about it again, and I haven’t.

Long Overdue Explanations

It was 3-4 years later, that she started to open up a bit more about her childhood. It seems that her introduction to sex was as a pre-teen, hearing her drunken alcoholic father having his way with his wife and hearing her mother pleading to be left alone. Even in the 1960’s, a woman was still her husband’s chattel and conjugal rights were expected. "Rape in marriage" was inconceivable by definition of ‘marriage’.

After a few months, she asked her mother about it, and she had her first ‘lesson’ in sex-ed, including what rape is.
The ancients described this as "The sins of the father will be visited on his children to the 3rd and 4th generation" (Ex.20:5, Num.14:18, Deu.5:9).

A modern brain scan surprised by showing the degree of brain trauma from a simple childhood accident. Mapping the area of trauma with areas of brain function, suggests the possibility of impaired pleasure centres.


Never a truer statement has been made, than "The must important sexual organ is the one between our ears"!

Who Cares For the Carer? Loving Oneself

So that just leaves me. When we vow “For better or worse, in sickness and health”, I guess we all assume that the worse and sickness will only be a small percentage of married life. Our relationship had virtually declined into ‘patient and carer’. I started going through bouts of depression. Who cares for the carer? It was through discussions with a friend at work, that I started to realise that there was no point in just blaming circumstances for one’s unhappiness. I had to take responsibility for my own happiness, thinking outside the square of societal conventions. The Good Book tells us to ‘Love your neighbour as yourself’ - I had been taught the first half all my childhood, but not really much about loving myself - that was always seen as being ‘selfish’.

And so I ‘bit the bullet’ and started taking some occasional ‘me time’ with some ‘ladies of pleasure’, but that’s another story too. When one’s home cooking is all DIY, it’s nice to dine out sometimes.

e[lust] 115

(This post reproduced per the conditions of acceptance of a post link for publication)

Welcome to Elust 115

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #116? Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Erotic Non-Fiction

Erotic Fiction

Poetry

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Writing About Writing

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor


Monday, 28 January 2019

The Rider

(An Australian classic recrafted #literotica
with apologies to 'Banjo' Paterson, "The Man from Snowy River"
public domain since 1991
)

Content Warning! Contains sexually explicit graphic descriptions.
There was movement on the forums, for the word had passed around
That the MILF from "Butterflys" had got away,
And had joined the Wild Ladies - she was worth a thousand pound,
So all the studs had gathered to the fray.

All the tried and noted punters from the brothels near and far
Had mustered at "The G" o'night,
For the punters love hard riding where the Wild Ladies are,
And Sir Thomas sniffs their perfume with delight.


There was Stiffy, who made his name, when FIA ruled the net,
The old man with hair as white as cum;
But few could fuck beside him when his blood was fairly up -
He would go where ever whore and man could go.
And Randy of the Overblow came down to lend a hand,
No better fluffer ever held a cock;
For never whore could throw him while the bed-springs still held up,
He learnt to fuck while still a lad at school.

And one was there, a callow youth on a skinny, small-breasted whore,
He was something like a sprinter undersized,
With a touch of 'tuckey pony - three parts thoroughbred -
And such as are by Melbourne Ladies prized.
He was hard and tough and horny- just the sort that won't say die -
There was courage in his quick impatient thrusts;
And he bore the badge of lust in his bright and fiery eye,
And the proud and lofty carriage of his cock.

But still so youthfully skinny, one would doubt his power to stay,
And the old man said "That whore will never do
"For a long and tiring fuck - lad you'd better stay away,
"Those thighs are far too rough for such as you".
So he waited sad and wistful - only Randy stood his friend,
"I think we ought to let him cum" he said;
"I warrant he'll be with us when he's cumming at the end,
"For both his whore and he are mountain bred".

"He hails from Yarra River, up by 'Buang's side,
"Where the whores are half as cheap and twice as rough,
"Where a horse's hoof strikes fear from every furtive glance,
"The man that holds his own is good enough,
"And the Yarra River riders in the Gully make their home,
"Where the linctus runs those giant thighs between;
"I have seen full many punters since I first commenced to play,
"But nowhere yet such fuckers have I seen".

So he went — they found the Ladies atop the fucking bed —
They were faced the headboard with arses in the air,
And the old man gave his orders,
'Boys, go at them from the jump, no use to try for fancy riding now. 
And, Randy, you must whip them, try and wheal them on the rump. 
Ride boldly, lad, and never fear the spills, 
For never yet was punter that could keep these Ladies tight, 
If once you breach the sphincter of those cunts.' 

So Randy whipped and whealed them — he was racing on the wing 
Where the best and boldest floggers take their place, 
And he raised his flogger o'er them, and made their arses sting 
With the 9tails, as he met them face to face. 
Then he halted for a moment, while he dropped the dreaded lash, 
And they saw his swollen donger full in view, 
And they charged beneath his torso with a sharp and sudden dash, 
And licked and sucked his member to the hilt. 

Then fast the punters followed, where the gorges deep and red
Resounded to the slapping of their thrusts, 
In the gangbang wild and wet, they queued 
To lick and suck and fuck. 
And upward, ever upward, Wild Ladies held their way, 
Where fountains of squirt, high and wide were sprayed; 
And the old man muttered fiercely, 'We may bid the Ladies good day,
NO man can hold them down all this day.' 

When they reached the 'gasm's summit, even Randy took a pull,
It well might make the boldest hold his breath, 
The hairy twats grew thickly, and the hidden flesh was full 
Of fucking holes, and slick and swollen clits. 
But the man from Yarra River let his Lady have her head, 
And he swung his flogger round and gave a cheer, 
And he raced her down the climax like a torrent flood the bed, 
While the others stood and watched in very awe. 

He sent the linctus flying, but the Lady kept her head, 
He cleared the convulsing body in his stride, 
And the man from Yarra River never eased off in his thrusts — 
It was grand to see that mountain fucker ride. 
Through weary legs and bodies, on the rough and broken bed, 
Through the slippery spreading labia, at a racing pace he went; 
And he never drew a breath till he landed safe and sound, 
At the bottom of that hot and luscious descent. 

He was right among the Ladies as they 'roused a second time, 
And the watchers on the sidelines standing mute, 
Saw him ply his tongue so fiercely, a clit to raise the thrill, 
As he traced across the labia in hot pursuit. 
Then they lost him for a moment, 
Where two luscious labia meet 
'Mongst the tangled legs and bodies, the Wild Ladies panting yet, 
With the man from Yarra River mounted still. 

And down by 'Buang's gullies, where the rugged Ladies 'cline, 
Their tired and weary bodies to recoup, 
Where the air is musky scented, and the milky breasts do shine 
At midday in the warm and mellow air,
Where 'round the O'blow spillway, the river flows away 
To the billabongs and plains, toward Melbourne as it runs, 
The man from Yarra River is a household word to-day, 
And punters tell the story of his ride.
---xxxxXxxxx---
PS. Feb.5th

Now, do yourself a favour and read or listen to Paterson's original.
This iconic bush-ballad, beautifully captures the excitement of high-country horsemen rounding up wild brumbies.  I just hope my poor parody achieves even half that adrenaline pumping excitement.
Then try and find a copy of the movie of the same name, starring Tom Burlinson as Jim, The Man From Snowy River, with Kirk Douglas, Jack Thompson and Ingrid Thornton. If not the full movie, at least watch the YouTube clip of Jim's amazing down-hill ride - no CGI or special effects here - brilliant scenery, riding and cinematography.

Thursday, 17 January 2019

e[lust] 114

(This post reproduced per the conditions of acceptance of a post link for publication)
Elust 114 Headr image Rebels Notes naked bottom
Photo courtesy of Rebel's Notes

Welcome to Elust 114-

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #115? Start with the rules, come back February1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

The Painful Truth...

As Wet As I Get

Three, in the end

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Pachelbel

Window

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

FemDom {T}ropes

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Mx Nillin Fucks... Socks!
Knight Attire
Seven years of comments
Erotic Massage

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Gifts?
Our Dynamic
Switch!
Collar me kinky

Erotic Fiction

Marking Time
Coffee-shops and painsluts
The Storm
This belongs to me
Backstage Girl
floral

Writing About Writing

Smut Marathon ~ My Journey
3 Downloadable Tools to Track Your Income

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

#SoSS - Sharing Taboo Topics!

Blogging

End of Year Round Up
Caring too much about the wrong thing.

Erotic Non-Fiction

On Fucking and Being Fucked
Vignette - Pictures of Us
Lunch with a caned girl



Elust

Monday, 10 December 2018

Knight Attire

This post was inspired by a recent Kink of the Week’ prompt about ‘Men In Panties’. Whilst I am not personally into ‘kink’ per se, ‘ladies’ knickers per se, 'dick pics’ or selfies either, I thought the following analysis might be insightful.
As my male readers will know, men’s underwear manufacturers on the whole, don’t cater well for sensual gentlemen. 30-40 years ago, we had ‘Jockettes’ and like, but they seem to have disappeared off the market. Browsing the average High Street men’s wear store finds the average offering something like this:---

Which is fine if you are a tradie and need absorbent material and protection of your sensitive parts from rough overalls.

But sensuous and sexy they are not.
Thus I turned to the ladies section to try and find something more “comfortable” for those more intimate moments. Specifically I was looking for something with a ‘silky’ touch, shear without lace or frills. I also like high-cut g-string for for exposed butt cheeks.  But whilst I like a snug fit, I found many styles just too tight. The following are my current wardrobe:-

In more recent years, we have seen the rise of ‘sex’ shops with a wide range of sexy lady’s lingerie and men’s underwear. Whilst their emphasis seems to be on the ‘posing pouch’ style, some searching found some styles that I liked - specifically they have either a couple of darts sewn in the material to give the front more room. Alternatively, there is the multi-piece design which gives a shaped pouch.
For touch, the red pair are my favourite, but the multi-coloured pair have a special place in my heart. A very special Lady Of Pleasure (LOP) has always admired and loved the touch of some of my attire, and oh could she touch. On a recent holiday OS to visit family, she returned with a present for me - the multi-coloured pair.
Apart from LOP visits, my Knight Attire serve as my ‘pyjamas’, especially since Lady Thomas no longer shares the bedroom, they offer some comfort on those lonely nights.
Acknowledgements
A special thanks is due to Mr Pfizer for assistance in modelling the apparel to maximum effect.

PS

Not bad for a 70 year old, 12 months post prostate cancer radiotherapy.

Saturday, 17 February 2018

Elust 103

Photo courtesy of Tits and Test Tubes
Welcome to Elust 103-
The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #104 Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

The Friend and The Acquaintance

The dress rehearsal

Lake Malawi

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Color Me Kinky

A Slow Burn on a Summer Night.

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Voodoo Me

 *You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Cervical Orgasms: the deep erogenous zones

Erotic Fiction

Snow Day
Bad Dream
Heaven is a Place on Earth
Fucking Women
Laura's Christmas
The Scent of a Woman
More than Friends: A Night Out
Eloise ~ Part one ~ Under my skin
Helios

Erotic Non-Fiction

Pain is confusing
I Don’t Want You to Hurt Me
Chemistry
There's Many a Slip Twixt...
First Experience
Mixed bag/into my own eyes
Swinging 1
Lust and Will
Hot sunshine

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Mortified
Stop Worrying and Learn to Love Fellatio
I come from sexual assault
A life in three tweets

Poetry

-02.02.18_00:18-
The Four In the Morning Fuck

Blogging

Why Do I Blog?

Writing About Writing

10 Things I Will NEVER Write About

Elust
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