Peri-menopause meets Orgasm-Ejaculation-Dysfunction

As erotic fiction writers, we are obviously writing 'fiction', often from reminiscences of what is or once was or fantasizing about what we wish there was. But as we age, the reality of our personal sex lives can be very different. This is a real-life, warts and all story of such an encounter.

The Characters

CC (name changed even though I only know her working name) is a 50+ year old sex worker. I first met her 4 years ago and we immediately hit it off and we were able to share intimate details of our aging lives.  CC is now peri-menopausal, suffering night-sweats, dry vagina etc. starting to cause some issues for her work.

Now with CC being a mature age sex worker, she does tend to get a reasonable number of aged clients, including with erection implants (flexible rods and inflation devices). But she also has to put up with the young, immature wanna-be-studs with zero communication skills and zero understanding of female arousal. She gets rather tired and sore by such constant 'pounding' by these types. Such understanding is a big part of my own sexual maturing.

I am a septuagenarian now suffering OED. Regular ED (Erectile Dysfunction) hit about 10 years ago, then 3 years ago prostate cancer, treated with radiation therapy (that I have blogged about before). With a roasted prostate, ED and declining libido ensued. But with medication therapy, libido has improved somewhat and ED is addressed with sildenafil, compression ring, porn and arousal for usable erections. But actual orgasms are hard to come by and ejaculations not much more than a little pre-cum (no more 'cream pies', and vasectomy ensure no more babies) - thus OED.

As we shared our situations in a recent session, we agreed that our 'spirits are willing but our flesh is weak' (though I don't think this is quite how Matt.26:40-43 was meant to be interpreted).

Our Recent Session

I was fortunate that my personal situation was allowing me several days of uninterrupted respite time for myself for a change.  So there was no rush and CC and I relaxed in each other's arms, chatting, catching up, cuddling and kissing various erogenous zones.

As we discussed her dryness problems, I suggested that some oral lubrication was needed. CC jumped at the suggestion; cunnilingus is an activity that we have enjoyed since our first meeting. I am a great believer that 'she comes first'. I soon have her well lubricated and aroused. After several tremors and having become super-sensitive, I come up for more kissing, cuddling and chatting. We roll together for a little body-to-body arousal.

With my own OED issues, orgasm and ejaculation are no longer my goal. So when CC asks me what position I would like to go to next, I do not ask for a PIV position. Instead, I suggest she move on top and we can arouse each other by her rubbing her vulva along my erection (the 'pussy slide' or 'outercourse'). More lube has us slipping and sliding over each other. With CC in the 'driver's seat' she has full control about which parts of her body are being aroused, the moves and the timing. This is full on 'outercourse'. It brings to mind another lady I knew who used her labia in such an awesome way that I called it 'Deep French Fucking'.

CC is super aroused calling "Oh fuck. This is driving me crazy". It feels pretty good for me too. She slides up my shaft till her labia clasp my glans, then down again, then up and clasp again. A little shudder runs through her. Though my erection is full, I don't push the issue that I know will not have an ecstatic ending. Outercourse is sufficient for both of us at this age.

Hot and perspiring, we cuddle together for some finale kissing. I give her 'girls' one last lick and kiss before we head for the shower.

Image 'Gravity Sexual Health and Counseling';
original source of diagram unknown.

The State of the Onion

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone"!

Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 – 1919)

My 'state' at this point, is a bit like an onion, crinkly dry skin, a white tossled top, the dark brown of youth now salt and pepper. As you peel the skin, there are multiple layers, enough to make you cry. Now I don't want to bore you with the problems of my union, I've touched on it enough in other posts, so lets have some fun.

(I did NOT have sexual relations with THAT woman)

Now a State of the Union address is like an Annual Report, with a Profit and Loss (Cost/Benefit) Statement listing all the Income and Expenditures to see if you've come out ahead or behind (Profit or Loss) for the year. The Balance Sheet lists all your Assets and Liabilities at the time of the report to see if you are sufficiently liquid to continue going forward.

Expenditure/Costs (March 2020 - February 2021)

• 6 packets of Viagra
• 2 cock rings and 1 novelty 'bunny' ring with vibrating bullet
• 1 'Pocket Pussy' and 2 bottles lube
• 1 printed copy of "The Best of The Cunning Linctus" (present for buddy)
• 1 clit sucking combination dildo (present for buddy)
• 1 pr 'Spoiler' printed nickers (present for buddy)
• 4 pr silky g-string pyjamas for self
• 1 box covid-safe face masks
• 1 bottle sanitizer
• 200 hours writing blog posts and comments
• 4 x 30min sessions of R&R (Rut'n Recreation @ std rate of $300/hr)
  Note: with Covid and lock-downs, opportunities have been very limited.
• 3,000 hours personal care for Lady T.

Income/Benefits

• 4 Rut'n Toot'n Clit Lick'n respite sessions with buddy
• 50 DIY orgasms with PP
• 100's of hours enjoyable reading of sex blogs, porn and enjoying the community
• Government funded 'aged care assistance' for Lady T, including fortnightly house keeping

Assets (as at 1st March 2021)

• 1 tongue in perfect clit-lick'n order
• Overall good health and the prostate cancer issues has been fully resolved
• Loving, supportive family and delightful grand-children
• Pre-approved government funding for aged/nursing home care when needed
• Sound pension investment portfolio
  Note: after a sharp drop in value at the start of the covid pandemic, a rebalancing of investments out of international property (airports, shopping centres, toll-roads, etc, all of which were badly affected by covid) into bio-tech and 'green' stock has seen a rebound to pre-covid levels.

Liabilities

• 1 aging penis in need of regular chemical assistance and sexercise
• Lady T's declining health and mobility

Auditors Report

Due to undocumented expenditures and the ephemeral nature of some of the 'income', assets and liabilities, I am unable to certify the veracity of the above operating statements of Sir Thomas TTE, although I am sure there is truth in every item reported. I also note that there is no provision for income tax liabilities.

Click to read other 'States of Unions'

Misconceptions About Erections, Orgasms and Ejaculation!

WARNING:- This post is technical with medical anatomical discussions, but bear with me. Enhanced knowledge will lead to understanding when things don't go quite right (ED).

In my previous Penis Project post, I wrote about the 'Penis Conspiracy' and how what goes on in our brain influences our sex life. This post focuses on the physical side with the brain translating sensory input into arousal initiation, triggering the erection process and central in the genital sensory feedback to flood the body with feel-good hormones and orgasm.

The Three Stage Process of Erection

Normal erections generally depend upon 3 processes (ref.): 

1. increased arterial blood flow into the penis by neurological initiation, 
2. cavernosal smooth muscle relaxation, 
3. restriction of venous blood outflow from the penis.

I've included links to various medical websites for more complete descriptions, I focus mostly on the lesser understood aspects.

 (Click for the WebMD article)

From around 2005, understanding of the biochemical processes improved and the inter-relationship of psychological and physiological aspects were better understood. Working backward, the actual erection is caused by inflow of blood into the two 'corpus cavernosa'. This process is triggered by Nitric Oxide (NO), a signalling chemical sent from the nerve endings en-wrapping the cavernosum. (NO is synthesized from L-arginine by NO synthase (NOS)). The NO causes the blood vessel walls to relax encouraging blood inflow.  PDe5 inhibitor drugs like Sildenafil (Viagra) work by increasing bio-availability of Nitric Oxide. It is the signalling from the brain, initiated by a range of all sorts of erotic stimuli, touch, sight, smell, sound, that trigger this process. Conversely, inhibitory brain processes like depression, can suppress this triggering process.

Nitric Oxide is an important  component in general circulatory health. Certain foods and supplements boost Nitric Oxide levels. Whilst these might not be sufficient for treatment of persistent Erectile Dysfunction (ED), a good exercise regime, healthy eating including the above NO boosters, healthy weight level, controlled blood pressure, minimized alcohol consumption and healthy mind-set, will minimize the chances of developing ED.

Having achieved an erection, a separate process retains the erection. The Corpus Spongiosum runs down the under-side of the penis and is responsible for holding the urethra open and restricting the outflow veins so blood is retained, holding the erection. A different Nitric Oxide process (eNO) is involved in retaining an erection. This is also a signalling chemical from nerve endings, but these are triggered by physiological conditions of the erection, specifically 'hematological shear', which is a function of the actual blood flow affected by the flexibility and smoothness of the blood vessel walls and the viscosity of the blood. So a good psychologically aroused state can initiate a good erection, but aging or damaged blood vessels can limit retention. 

Overuse of alcohol affects blood viscosity which can lead to loss of erection, "Brewers Droop", known in Australia as "Fosters Droop". And remember that alcohol shouldn't be taken along with most medications. A little might be fine to relax to start an evening, but too much could deflate not just your ego. And alcohol generally doesn't go well with Viagra leaving you with a pounding headache afterwards.

WARNING:-  Viagra was originally developed for treatment of high blood pressure. It works in erection improvement by lowering blood pressure through release of Nitric Oxide. There are medical conditions that contraindicate its use - get a doctor's check before starting its use. Use the smallest dose needed - there is a maximum recommended dose - over-dosing can cause serious problems.

The Corpus Cavernosum Vessels

Note that the Corpus Cavernosum are in fact two blood vessels of sponge-like tissue, the length of the penis, that fill with blood to effect an erection. These vessels form in the fetus in the very earliest stages during development of the circulatory system. At the time of gender bifurcation, these vessels form either the penis or the female clitoral structure. It is an important lesson in sexuality for men to understand, that the female clitoral structure extends from the external head (analogous the the male glans) and extends internally with two Corpus Cavernosa, behind the labia, around the urethra and join the top wall of the vagina at the 'G spot'. So the female clitoris undergoes a penis like 'erection', swelling and puffing out the labia.

Understanding Orgasms and Ejaculation

The whole sexual arousal cycle is a feedback loop between sensory arousal in the brain flooding the body with hormones, and sensations in the genitals feeding signals back into the brain. In one sense, orgasm is arousal reaching a peak with a final 'explosive' flood of senses then 'collapses' into the 'resolution' phase. In females, orgasm triggers rhythmic contractions of muscles. Clitoral orgasms use muscles around the urethra and vaginal openings, the same muscles used in a male orgasm. A vaginal orgasm is contraction of the kegal muscles across the base of the pelvis and contract along the inner length of the vagina. In men, orgasm and ejaculation are in fact separate events.

Ejaculation is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system in the spinal cord.

In men, arousal causes a build up of ejaculate fluid within the 'bulb of the penis' located at the base. An observant woman might see the urethra on the underside of the penis, swelling and throbbing. This filling up leads to a special feeling of impending, uncontrollable ejaculation, although with practice, 'edging' allows you to pull back from the 'edge', then build up to almost the point of no return again, then pull back again.

With age, erection can in fact inhibit orgasm and ejaculation, with effectively numbing sensations. As the erection starts to deflate, ejaculation might then occur - warning: this condition can lead to condom slippage.

While men experience pelvic contractions, not unlike the female, they are not central to the male orgasm and ejaculation. Pelvic contractions can best be felt during prostate massage. Rhythmic ejaculation contractions primarily are caused by muscles at the base of the penis, rather than pelvic floor, although they are connected.

Origin and Composition of Ejaculate

Probably the biggest misconception, is the origin of ejaculate. Sperm is generated in the testicles and passes up the Vas (a Vasectomy cuts this Vas as a permanent contraceptive measure). The sperm mixes with fluid from the Seminal Vesicle and from the Prostate - by volume the majority is prostatic fluid. The outlet from the prostate joins the urethra through a valve and another valve above the junction stops urine mixing during ejaculation, and conversely ejaculate going back into the bladder (retrograde ejaculation). 

This misconception is perpetuated by porn talk about "draining balls". If anything, it is the prostate that is being 'drained'. 

Ejaculate from a man who has had a vasectomy contains no sperm and won't have a milky colour (so technically, no 'cream-pies'). If a man has had prostatectomy surgery (cutting out the prostate) for Prostate Cancer, there will be virtually no ejaculate and very poor, if any, orgasms (erection and coitus is still possible with an implant or injection, but sorry, no 'happy ending').

Lust Through the Years

Dear Diary,

I know its been quite some time since we communicated, but with this pandemic virus and isolation, the possibilities for intimate socializing have been zero. Sure, I wrote last year, "Vale Sir Lust", but the demise of my lust is slightly exaggerated. Whilst my "get up and go" has not entirely "got up and gone", with chemical assistance and a lot of effort, I can "get it up" occasionally, but the "go" is only a trickle. But worse, the lustful urges are just a slightly sad, warm memory.

At least, one of the benefits of aging, is time and history for introspection and reminiscence. One of those observations, is the way lust changes through the years. Briget Delaney asked for Erotic Journals about being "Lustful" - I cover the range of lust here, but I don't think there's too much erotica in it.

Pubescent Lust - Learning, Dreaming, Wishing, Waiting, Discovery

As a pre-teen boy, from those earliest stirring in the loins, you knew that you were at the start of something wonderful, of manhood. There was the discovery that rubbing and friction produced a wonderful feeling, and then the magic of an erection - was "Jack and the beanstalk" really a youngster's erotic tale? 

Then came the obligatory "sex education" talk - what a waste of an hour - just medical talk about sperm, follopian tubes, eggs and the uterus; all about reproduction and absolutely nothing useful about "sex". Real sex-ed occurred in the school yard, especially from boys who had older brothers, where we learnt about sticking your 'willy' into something called a 'cunt'. But it was the secrecy of something illicit that stirred the excitement. Then occasionally there were the crumpled "dirty pictures" that surreptitiously got passed around.

This was the beginning of "lust". The stories, pictures and imaginings warmed the loins and triggered erections - oooh, the pleasure. From rubbing against playground equipment and shimmying up poles to get an erection, we graduated to masturbation and the wonder of ejaculation. Sexual thoughts and dreams seemed to consume the whole day. Sexual dreams were so intense, you could wake up with a very hard erection and pajamas wet with ejaculate, or more embarrassing, wets sheets and the worry that mum might find them.

Lust on the Doorstep of Adulthood

In the late teens, we discovered "lads mags" and saw the naked female form in all its voluptuous beauty, for the first time. For most guys, this was the time of dates, of dances, of sexual exploration, fumbling gropes in the back row of the picture theatre. Some even progressed "all the way".

But for me, growing up in a straight-laced religious family, where dancing was almost evil, and rock music the call of the devil, head-lined by that hip-swivelling  personification of evil, Elvis Presley, that was leading the youth of the world down the path to eternal damnation. The growth of my sexual life was stunted to say the least, though lust persisted. But how could something so natural for all men (I had still to learn about women's lust), be considered the source of temptation to sin?

Eventually, I left home in my tertiary years and my first serious female relationship developed. We progressed through snogging, to gropes, but never "down there".

Lust in Marriage - For Better or Worse

I quickly discovered that my marriage was not going to be "lust-full" - there were all sorts of emotional, medical and sexual baggage. But we stuck it out and 90% of the time I had to DIY. Lust was different now - it was an aching longing for what should be but I didn't have. Despite ongoing serious medical issues, a child was eventually planned and conceived, thanks to the Billings method and coitus once a month whether she wanted to or not - the most frequent sex we had in our entire married life.

With 18 years of further medical issues with our child, on top of aggravated medical problems for my wife, sex took a very distant back seat, from zero to once a year, a "sympathy" fuck at best. 

Work took me away interstate at times for up to a week, so there were many lonely nights with daily porn and masturbation for my unsated lust.

Post Middle Age Liberated Lust

With the mortgage paid off, the family left home and medical condition much settled, I thought we might have a second chance to develop a sex life. But it wasn't to be. She finally got up the courage to tell me that she didn't enjoy sex and never had and would rather not have any ever again.

Well that was a kick in the guts. I was a faithful husband, had a beautiful family, a good career, but my identity as a "man" was in doubt. My painful lust descended into depression. It was a woman at work, divorced and in a new relationship, that opened my eyes to understand that I had to take responsibility for my own happiness, in spite of circumstances. And so I decided to take the plunge into paying for sexual satisfaction.

Well that was probably the best thing I could have done. Depression lifted, I was coping at home as a carer better. There was so much I was learning about women's sexuality, pleasuring each other, and the whole package of close intimate 'relationships' (I guess I was very lucky in my selection of my ladies-of-pleasure way above the average sex-worker).

Lust was quite different now. After each encounter, the euphoria lasted over a week. Around the 3 week mark (I was in my late 50s after all), the wonderful lustful urge became almost all consuming, so I just slipped out for another "long lunch" or left work a little early for a stop-off on my way home, to catch up with one of my wonderful ladies. Lust was moving on from just wanting/needing to "get my rocks off", to desire for the the full intimate encounter.

Sexygenarian Lust as One Ages

One day I was seeing a new lady, that wasn't quite up to my usual level of excitement, when lo and behold, I lost my erection mid-coitus. Aging erectile dysfunction had arrived. My doctor prescribed Viagra and everything was wonderful again. Erections were harder and lasted longer. But as a few more years passed, despite a good hard erection, I found it harder to orgasm at all.

The lustful urges were becoming less frequent, and focused on the totality, and I was settling down to a handful of very special regular ladies rather than going on the prowl for a conquests.

Prostate Cancer, Radiotherapy, Declining Lust and the Future

I've covered this topic extensively in recent posts, which brings me back to my introduction at the top of the page. I'm at the point now where I'm wondering if, when I become widowed, whether there will be a last, if somewhat short chance at some intimate sexuality. There are at least two couples in our retirement village that have hooked up or married since coming here. I read about octogenarians fathering children, and one or two of my LOPs have told me of 80+ year old clients coming in for some relief comfort on the way home from visiting their dying wife in hospital. So you never know.

So dear diary, there is one constant throughout life, and that is sexual lust. I have posted some years ago, "I Lust, Therefore I am", our "ID" as defined by Sigmund Freud. We are human sexual beings after all. The most important thing in life, is how we harness our lust to fit in with all the other aspects of life.

"Lustful"

D.E. - Dysfunctional Erections (#AtoZChallenge)

Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is one of those conditions that will effect all men as they age, but sexual performance is so deeply ingrained in the male psyche, that ED is often hidden, denied or just not spoken about.

LADIES: Please don't shut off here thinking this is a male topic. This affects couples, and men suffering this need the support, love and encouragement of their partners to work through it. You will probably have to learn together to modify your intimate relationships to allow for these changes.

I see I have covered this subject 10 times over the last 10 years, so I'll try not to cover too much old ground. Follow links for further reading.

I was in my late 50's when it first hit me, losing my erection mid-coitus. A quick visit to my doctor, and a Viagra prescription got me up and going again, but there are side effects. Over time, I started to realise there are multiple facets to this condition. First there is the lack of or loss of erection itself, then there is the decreased sensation/feeling, this in turn leads to inability to orgasm or ejaculate. 

But in this last year, post prostate cancer radiotherapy treatment, I hit rock bottom. Everything was gone, and I wrote "Paradise Lost, Vale Sir Lust".

In researching my ED, I discovered that erection comes in two stages, the initial achievement of erection and secondly maintaining an erection. These stages are driven by different bio-chemical processes, which is why in early cases, erection can be attained but not maintained. Further I found that orgasm and ejaculation are not necessarily correlated. Did you know there is a medical journal, the "International Journal of Impotence Research", dedicated to understanding the underlying processes, the pathologies that leads to dysfunction and the search for medications and methods to counteract such dysfunction?

As I started to read learned research articles (not easy since my doctorate is in computer science and data analysis, not biochemical processes, but my university organic chemistry studies 50 years ago have helped), I started to get a new perspective of the problem and some promising hints into how I might regain some function.

Let me try and describe the erection process in lay terms, stripped of too much biochemical detail. Medical thinking about the causes/processes of ED flipped back and forth over 20 years or more. The thinking was that there were psychological and physiological causes separately. In younger men, psychological causes were considered principle and treatment was around relationships. In older men, physiological causes were prominent, namely ageing of blood vessels causing thickening and decreased flexibility of blood vessels. 

From around 2005, understanding of the biochemical processes improved and the inter-relationship of psychological and physiological aspects were better understood. Working backward, the actual erection is caused by inflow of blood into the two 'corpus cavernosum'. This process is triggered by Nitric Oxide (NO), a signalling chemical sent from the nerve endings enwrapping the cavernosum. (NO is synthesized from L-arginine by NO synthase (NOS)). The NO causes the blood vessel walls to relax encouraging blood inflow.  PDe5 inhibitor drugs like Sildenafil (Viagra) work by increasing bio-availability of NO. It is the signalling from the brain, initiated by a range of all sorts of erotic stimuli, touch, sight, smell, sound, that trigger this process. Conversely, inhibitory brain processes like depression, can disable this triggering process.

The cavernosum run down either side of the penis. The corpus spongiosum runs down the under-side of the penis and is responsible for holding the urethra open and restricting the outflow veins so blood is retained, holding the erection. A different Nitric Oxide process (eNO) is involved in retaining an erection. This is also a signalling chemical from nerve endings, but these are triggered by physiological conditions of the erection, specifically 'hematologial shear', which is a function of the actual blood flow affected by the flexibility and smoothness of the blood vessel walls and the viscosity of the blood. So a good psychologically aroused state can initiate a good erection, but aging or damaged blood vessels can limit retention.

Nerves are involved in both stages and sensory nerves provide feeling/touch sensations back to the brain, so nerve damage (surgical or radiotherapy) or peripheral neuropathy (eg. from diabetes), can also affect various aspects of ED.

Finally, there is the issue of treatment. It is best to take a holistic view, psychologically as well as physiologically. Physiological conditions can be permanent or temporary (eg.alcohol) and the best you can hope for is to moderate underlying conditions eg. diabetes, arteriosclerosis, hypertension etc. As has been mentioned, PDe5 inhibitors have proved generally beneficial in the absence of any other underlying pathology. To improve 'hematologial shear', keep well hydrated. Low testosterone has been linked to lower libido (psychological), but there is no evidence that testosterone supplements improve ED. Similarly, L-arginine supplements are promoted in men's 'health supplements', but a placebo-controlled, crossover comparison found no difference in ED improvement between oral L-arginine and placebo.

In the specific case of ED due to radiotherapy, some general healing of damaged tissue, both cavernosum and nerves, has been achieved with daily low doses of PDe5 inhibitors. Extra high doses of PDe5 inhibitors can also improve erection response and retention, if side effects can be tolerated. EG. Viagra is normally only recommended up to 100mg, but controlled experiments with 150mg and 200mg doses have had some success. The author seems to be having success with 150mg and plans to go for another 'test drive' once his Lady Of Pleasure is out of COVID19 self isolation. The other factor in ED 'recovery' noted in some studies, is frequency of use, even if it is DIY ('Use It Or Lose It' will be addressed in a coming post). 

 
Click to see who else is taking the challenge. 

ED Recovery? The Test Drive

 #F4TFriday

The time has come.

I've been trying a non-invasive method to treat my Erectile Dysfunction (2 year post prostate cancer radiotherapy treatment) for 3 months. As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, there has been a modicum of success with Viagra and cock-ring producing erections that just might be sufficient for coitus. So its time to try it out.

My lustless wife has had no desire for any form of intimacy for decades, so this is not for her. As for me, the days of aching urgent needs, dwindled over the years from daily, to weekly to monthly and the intensity subsided. But now there is no feeling of 'need' any more, just memories of 'that would be nice to have again'. As I face the possibility of widowhood in the next few years, it would be nice to know that I might have something to offer any future partner. Regrets? Sure, I've had a few!

But for now, all I have are some LOP 'buddies', that are understanding, willing and warm and intimate. My carer duties have become almost full time, so the best I can manage is to extend a shopping trip by an hour.

I finally manage to arrange a time. Miss C welcomes me warmly, despite it being 12 months since our last encounter. She reassures me that my situation is not uncommon. Being a middle aged SW, she has quite a number of older clients with post-prostate treatment conditions, including implanted pumps, rods, cock-rings and caverject injections.

As we snuggle up for a kiss and cuddle, a relaxing warmth enfolds me. How nice is that primal need for the intimate touch of another human body. C wriggles in closer, worming her cleft over my modest erection. She assures me that it is stiff enough and its hotness is as good as ever. I don't feel anything especially arousing, just part of the overall warmth of intimacy. I do however feel C's wetness and her own increasing need as she works her clit over me.

Its time I satisfied her needs. I slide down her body and let the old tongue-engine loose on her lady bits. Well at least my tongue is still in excellent working order and all the old sensations are still good.

After she had come down from her orgasm, she asks if I am ready to enter her. She tells me she needs to feel filled. I warn her that condoms decrease sensitivity even more and I'm not sure I can even penetrate. She suggests we try a super-thin non-latex condom and give it a go.

As I slide in, there is relief that my erection has passed the test. Even though there is no feeling of arousal, it is warm and nice to feel the ultimate of human intimacy. But orgasm for me just isn't on the radar.

Sadly our time all too soon comes to an end. As we chat, shower and dress, I tell C that I came expecting that this might be my last time. But I thank her that she has reassured me that there is some sort of future for limited intimacy.

Thank God for these wonderful Ladies Of Pleasure that give men like me, some warmth and intimacy in the autumn of our life.

PS. My visit to Miss C used my last Viagra script, and its still a month or so to the Dr's appointment. So its been a couple of weeks with no daily Viagra. Sadly, even with cock-ring, there is no hint of erection and zero sensation. So whilst my 'treatment' has enabled an erection sufficient for coitus as needed, there appears to have been no  'healing' for long-term improvement. However, I shall continue my 'treatment' for another 6 months and see.

(Click this banner to read other Thoughts on Hindsight & Regrets)

ED Recovery

#MasturbationMonday 

(plus Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday
- Sunday is my day of rest)

 

Well its 3 months since I started my ED Rehab. and I thought it was time to report in.

Just reiterating the background, following radiotherapy for prostate cancer, my libido dropped to zero, erections, sensation, orgasms and ejaculation also zero, in spite of using Viagra. Before pursuing the Urologist's options of implants, I did some research and decide to try DIY non-invasive rehab.

The plan involves daily half dose (50mg) of Viagra, cock ring (to impede blood outflow from any erection), pornographic stimulation, masturbation once or twice a day, aiming for ejaculation as often as possible. All of this is backed up with 'male enhancement' supplements. The aim is with increased blood flow and nutrients to stimulate healing of the prostate, penile, vascular and nerve tissues.

Well after 3 months, I can report a modicum of success. Prostate tissue is functioning again at about half previous volume of ejaculate. Erections are improving, though not 'hard' yet. With 100mg Viagra, erections are just full enough that penetration might be possible. But the main issue is still the lack of sensitivity, especially with a condom. But masturbation to ejaculation causes loss of any erection (duh)!

On rereading one of the ED Rehab. reference articles, I noticed a mention of vacuum devices. Now I've been having sex for 50 years, but have never tried a penis pump before. Time to try this option too. At a cost about the same as a month's supply of Viagra, it seemed like an economic option. I wasn't sure how it would work with a little limp member to start with. But wow, as I start to pump, my cock is sucked in, centimeter by centimeter, as good as some of my buddies. As I continue to pump, my cock expands and stretches almost the full length of the tube. OMG, its as hard and aching like the first time I tried Viagra 10 years ago. 

At maximum suction my cock is stinging - now I understand the warning on the package that persons with certain conditions should not use the pump at danger of injury to the penis. When I release the vacuum and pull my cock out, it drops limp - well it might give an erection in a 'bottle' but doesn't provide a continuing usable erection for ED sufferers. I try again with a cock ring, but even that doesn't help retain an erection. Oh well. At least it gives some nice sensations. If I leave it on for 10 minutes at medium suction, it should at least provide some needed increase in blood flow for the healing process.

It is nice though to wake in the morning with some sense of warmth and fullness, but not 'morning wood' yet, but enough to encourage me to undertake another round of 'therapy'.

I think I've reached the point where it is time to take a test drive, to suck it and see, you might say. Its time to look up one of my understanding, accommodating Ladies Of Pleasure.

Stay tuned for the next report... 

(Click this banner for more masturbatory delights)

Paradise Lost - Vale Sir Lust

Occasionally we read about those early teen years of discovery, perhaps of illicit liaisons. But we seldom read of the other end of life. Sure we hear of changes during menopause, and of course there is the perpetual whinging of married men saying their wives have lost their libido. Erectile Dis-function gets an occasional mention, but Viagra and Cialis take care of that.

Loss of male libido can have psychological or medicinal causes. But outright physical loss of sexual desire (lust) and function, just silently slides under the covers. 

My ED started at around 60 and I posted "Sex and Aging". But Viagra ushered in a new era for me, but orgasm/ejaculation was less, partly due to the Viagra effects. By age 65, I blogged "As Lust Fades". At 69, prostate cancer was detected -  I opted for radiotherapy, since prostatectomy was more likely to cause impotency. The treatment was a breeze and I celebrated every week of "The 39 Days".

In the 2 years since the radiotherapy, the cancer appears to have gone. But sexual function and libido have just about died. At first, it wasn't just inability to orgasm from sex, but sensitivity and feeling was declining. Add in condoms for transactional sex, the old adage of it being like taking a shower in a rain-coat, was all too true. With the prostate having been zapped, its functionality has declined so the volume of ejaculate is not much more than a dribble. Further, I have found the ED has worsened to the point where even a maximum dose of Viagra doesn't produce a workable erection. Neither porn nor masturbation can produce an erection.

The Urologist suggested that a mechanical implant could help (rod or inflatable balloon), but with no willing partner, no feeling sensations, and no orgasms, there is no point. Alas, Paradise has been lost.

Fortunately, the tongue is still in good working order. But I can't bring myself to pay $300/hr for a kiss and cuddle.

Vale, Sir Lust

Alas Sir Lust, I knew him well, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He has borne me on his bed a thousand times, and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My ire rises at it. Here hang those balls that have been kissed I know not how oft. Where be thy thrusts now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the whores on a roar? No one now to mock your limp dangling?

(PS. So what happens to this blog now with the loss of inspiration? Well I still have lots of memories to draw on so I will probably defer to fictional erotic writing.)

(Click to see who else is posting Food For Though about Libido)

The 39 Days

Celebrating the Road Often Traveled
But Seldom Spoken Of
(a 2017 post refreshed in 2021)

The road? Prostate Cancer treatment! The celebration? Eight roots in eight weeks and cancer clear!!! An Erotic Journal? With all the ups and downs of this bumpy road, perhaps it is an E-rocky Journal!

Doctor's Orders

I don't think anything can be more unsettling to a man's lusty sex-life, than the diagnosis of prostate cancer.

I guess it was on the cards - 60% of 70 year olds will have it. And I've always been health conscious and have had annual medical checkups for the last 20 years. So a slowly rising PSA level gave advance warning of possible issues. Early this year, my PSA passed a 2nd critical level, so it was off to the urologist for an MRI, a 10 needle biopsy and CT scan.  Fortunately, we caught it early, it is entirely contained and only about 1cm in diameter.  At my age and current good health, it was recommended that it should be treated (if left untreated, life expectancy could be 10-15 years - I'm aiming for another 25 years at least). I was offered either robotic surgery or radiotherapy. I opted for the later.

Radiotherapy lasts about 8 weeks for 5 days/week. The preliminary CT scan, size and location analysis, determined that I needed 78 RADs, at 2 RAD per treatment, meaning 39 days of treatment were needed.

Week 1, Day 1

After the 1st treatment, I go in to talk with the radiation oncologist doctor. I ask him the most important question of all, 

"Is Viagra and sex OK during radiotherapy?". 

"No problems" he replies. "You can continue your normal sex life".

Well, that's a relief. That was my main concern about radical prostatectomy surgery. Although modern robotic techniques are very good, there was still the possibility of nerve damage, with incontinence and/or impotence side-effects - NO THANKS.

Continue a 'normal' sex life? What is normal? My sex life has definitely not been regular nor 'normal'. 

8 Roots in 8 Weeks

A plan is formulating in my mind. I will set out to have a 'normal' sex life for the duration of my treatment. Doctor's 'orders' after all.

This is my planned 'treatment' of 'prostate exercises'. This will keep the plumbing clear, keep the good prostate tissue working in tip-top shape and boost my endorphine levels for a positive outlook.

Now the radiotherapy centre is a half hour drive from home, allowing for 30-90mins in the centre, it is easy to slip in an extra hour to visit one of my regular ladies-of pleasure.

To summarize, on explaining my condition and planned 'treatment', all my ladies were even more accommodating than ever, and eager to assist with my 'treatment'.  Thankyou ladies.

• Day 5 - Ruby.
• Day 9 - Crystal
• Day 13 - Amber
• Day 18 - Jess (Ruby was on holidays)
• Day 23 - Amber
• Day 28 - Ruby
• Day 26 - Amber
• Day 39 - Ruby - Celebration🙌😈💦💋👅👼👿

Its just a pity that my health insurance doesn't cover these extra 'treatments'.

The Wait

So now I have a 3 month wait before a PSA test and visit to the urologist, to confirm that the cancer has all gone.

And I guess my sex-life will return to its less-than-normal, irregular pre-treatment state. At least my ladies-of-pleasure remain in my life.

PS - Radiotherapy Side Effects

Fortunately, the side-effects of radiotherapy are usually minimal. Mind you, the bowel irritation gives me the shits, and bladder irritation really pisses me off. But that's it, no pain, no fatigue.

PPS - Radiotherapy Humour

One day, I was lying on the radiotherapy table with my pubes and mid-riff exposed.  The female operator was getting me aligned - I have had target marks tattooed on my mid-riff and thighs and a pair of laser beams show the correct alignment. Her cold hands on my thighs push and roll me a little to get alignment right. At which point she says "Beautiful!". I tell her that "Only special ladies are allowed to say that!". I get a little laugh.

A couple of days later, I have the same operator, and she says the same things. This time, I say "Well, thank you!". She says "Your welcome" and we both laugh.

PPPS - Six Months - Declining Side Effects

Doctor's report is that I am cancer clear and my PSA levels are back to a very low normal. One of the minor side-effects was reduction in the volume of ejaculate, and as a consequence reduced ability or time to cum. But here at the 6 month mark, I can see an improvement in volume due to prostate function returning to normal (for my age).

PPPPS - Three Years - Up For It, Just

Well my 6 month review was a bit optimistic. In fact at 2 years I wrote "Paradise Lost - Vale Sir Lust".

But I wasn't going to give up. After much research, I resorted to a 3 month course of daily low doses of Viagra, with very regular DIY sexercises, to the point where I was achieving usable erections, so a test drive was scheduled, with moderate success.

Then COVID hit so it was back to DIY for 12 months. But here we are in 2021, open for business, and time to dip my toes in the water (perhaps that should be dipping my willy in some pussies). Getting up is OK, but my issue is staying up, so I need to use cock rings - a vibrating rabbit ears novelty ring has added some fun, much to my buddy's delight.

And so dear Erotic Journal, my journey has been bumpy with lots of ups and downs. The key is to enjoy the 'ups'!

Click to see who else has been erotically challenged!