Coitus Interruptus

The prompt for '4ThoughtsOrFiction' this week is "Bedroom Bloopers", and there is nothing more likely to interrupt coitus than a phone call.

Bedroom Bloopers
'Break her bed, not her heart!'*

In my first story, I never even got to the bedroom. I had been seeing a Lady Of Pleasure, TM, regularly for a while and we had exchanged telephone numbers. This was back when Lady Thomas could mostly care for herself during the day and I was still working and taking occasional 'long lunches' with various LOPs. On this particular day, our work team was out to lunch and I was sitting next to my boss, when my phone rings - it was TM asking if I was coming to see her today. I explained that I was at a work lunch and wouldn't be able to get there.

Several months later, I was having a 'long lunch' with another LOP and was naked and about to get into bed, when TM rang again, so I had to make up some apology.

Well the 'relationship' with TM developed when she retired from sex work and asked if I would like to continue seeing her privately in a 'booty buddy' type of arrangement, which I took up. One particular appointment had to be cancelled due to a severe storm that damaged the roof of her house. So I saw her the next morning and after a couple of wonderful hours in the bedroom, we were reclining in the lounge sipping chai lattes, she in just a robe and I was mostly dressed ready to go to work. The dogs started barking and there was a knock on the door. It was the plumber sent by the estate agent, come to inspect the storm damage. Ooops! Almost 'bedroom blooper'! With slight embarrassment, I pulled on my shoes and slipped on my coat, bidding my buddy a discreet farewell while she showed the plumber where the damage was. To add to my 'blooper', I forgot to leave my 'gift' (sorted that out the next day).

With age, retirement and Lady Thomas' declining health, my opportunities for 'me time' declined - I had to resort to squeezing an extra half hour onto the occasional shopping trip (I have written elsewhere about my lustless, sexless marriage). My home life was now mostly about being her carer.

On one occasion, I was up to my balls in a wonderful LOP, when there was an urgent phone call. LT was ringing to ask "Will you be home soon? I'm busting and need a hand to go to the toilet". Fortunately, my LOP was very understanding and our time was just about up, so after a quick shower and cuddle goodbye, I returned to home duties.

In the last month or so, LT is going through a number of other health issues (eyes, shoulder, legs, bowels), that my 'carer' duties have progressed to effectively nursing. With disturbed nights, lack of sleep and busy days, 'me time' is almost zero. With low enthusiasm and my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-gone, it is now effectively 'blogger interruptus'! It's 9am and LT has fallen asleep after a sleepless night, so I get an hour to squeeze out this post.

* I found this photo in a simple Google image search. It has appeared in a number of memes but I was unable to find its origin.

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has had 'Bedroom Bloopers'.

Missed Wicked Wednesday Connection

It was the current Wicked Wednesday prompt "#432 Missed Connections" that reminded me of this incident some 9 years ago. This Reminiscence is a rework of a post of that time.

I first met TM at a Melbourne brothel back in 2010. We hit it off immediately and soon had exchanged phone numbers. A couple of months later, she decided to leave that establishment, and asked if I would like to continue seeing her privately and exclusively.

We had planned a Wicked Wednesday lunch and afternoon of debauchery. But a massive storm blew up Tuesday night and the roof of TM's house sprung a leak. The owner and/or agent were to come to inspect the damage on the Wednesday afternoon, so our little Wicked Wednesday Connection was Missed, and our tête-à-tête was postponed to Thursday.  

So we had a Wicked Thursday, skipping lunch, launching straight into a fucking awesome couple of hours. 

 

We were recovering, reclining in the lounge, sipping hot chai lattes, she in nothing but a bath-robe, and me mostly dressed. Suddenly the dogs started barking outside - TM looked out the window and saw a couple of tradesmen coming to the door.  It appears that they had been sent to prepare a quotation for repairs.  TM was thus tied up showing the workmen the problem, so I surreptitiously finished dressing, quietly said my goodbye and excused myself.

It was the next day that I got a text message from TM saying that she couldn't find my "envelope" and that she thought we had a "business relationship". Oops! Red face!!!  I quickly arranged a wire transfer.

 

Our "relationship" only lasted a couple of more months before we had to say 'Goodbye'.

D.E. - Dysfunctional Erections (#AtoZChallenge)

Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is one of those conditions that will effect all men as they age, but sexual performance is so deeply ingrained in the male psyche, that ED is often hidden, denied or just not spoken about.

LADIES: Please don't shut off here thinking this is a male topic. This affects couples, and men suffering this need the support, love and encouragement of their partners to work through it. You will probably have to learn together to modify your intimate relationships to allow for these changes.

I see I have covered this subject 10 times over the last 10 years, so I'll try not to cover too much old ground. Follow links for further reading.

I was in my late 50's when it first hit me, losing my erection mid-coitus. A quick visit to my doctor, and a Viagra prescription got me up and going again, but there are side effects. Over time, I started to realise there are multiple facets to this condition. First there is the lack of or loss of erection itself, then there is the decreased sensation/feeling, this in turn leads to inability to orgasm or ejaculate. 

But in this last year, post prostate cancer radiotherapy treatment, I hit rock bottom. Everything was gone, and I wrote "Paradise Lost, Vale Sir Lust".

In researching my ED, I discovered that erection comes in two stages, the initial achievement of erection and secondly maintaining an erection. These stages are driven by different bio-chemical processes, which is why in early cases, erection can be attained but not maintained. Further I found that orgasm and ejaculation are not necessarily correlated. Did you know there is a medical journal, the "International Journal of Impotence Research", dedicated to understanding the underlying processes, the pathologies that leads to dysfunction and the search for medications and methods to counteract such dysfunction?

As I started to read learned research articles (not easy since my doctorate is in computer science and data analysis, not biochemical processes, but my university organic chemistry studies 50 years ago have helped), I started to get a new perspective of the problem and some promising hints into how I might regain some function.

Let me try and describe the erection process in lay terms, stripped of too much biochemical detail. Medical thinking about the causes/processes of ED flipped back and forth over 20 years or more. The thinking was that there were psychological and physiological causes separately. In younger men, psychological causes were considered principle and treatment was around relationships. In older men, physiological causes were prominent, namely ageing of blood vessels causing thickening and decreased flexibility of blood vessels. 

From around 2005, understanding of the biochemical processes improved and the inter-relationship of psychological and physiological aspects were better understood. Working backward, the actual erection is caused by inflow of blood into the two 'corpus cavernosum'. This process is triggered by Nitric Oxide (NO), a signalling chemical sent from the nerve endings enwrapping the cavernosum. (NO is synthesized from L-arginine by NO synthase (NOS)). The NO causes the blood vessel walls to relax encouraging blood inflow.  PDe5 inhibitor drugs like Sildenafil (Viagra) work by increasing bio-availability of NO. It is the signalling from the brain, initiated by a range of all sorts of erotic stimuli, touch, sight, smell, sound, that trigger this process. Conversely, inhibitory brain processes like depression, can disable this triggering process.

The cavernosum run down either side of the penis. The corpus spongiosum runs down the under-side of the penis and is responsible for holding the urethra open and restricting the outflow veins so blood is retained, holding the erection. A different Nitric Oxide process (eNO) is involved in retaining an erection. This is also a signalling chemical from nerve endings, but these are triggered by physiological conditions of the erection, specifically 'hematologial shear', which is a function of the actual blood flow affected by the flexibility and smoothness of the blood vessel walls and the viscosity of the blood. So a good psychologically aroused state can initiate a good erection, but aging or damaged blood vessels can limit retention.

Nerves are involved in both stages and sensory nerves provide feeling/touch sensations back to the brain, so nerve damage (surgical or radiotherapy) or peripheral neuropathy (eg. from diabetes), can also affect various aspects of ED.

Finally, there is the issue of treatment. It is best to take a holistic view, psychologically as well as physiologically. Physiological conditions can be permanent or temporary (eg.alcohol) and the best you can hope for is to moderate underlying conditions eg. diabetes, arteriosclerosis, hypertension etc. As has been mentioned, PDe5 inhibitors have proved generally beneficial in the absence of any other underlying pathology. To improve 'hematologial shear', keep well hydrated. Low testosterone has been linked to lower libido (psychological), but there is no evidence that testosterone supplements improve ED. Similarly, L-arginine supplements are promoted in men's 'health supplements', but a placebo-controlled, crossover comparison found no difference in ED improvement between oral L-arginine and placebo.

In the specific case of ED due to radiotherapy, some general healing of damaged tissue, both cavernosum and nerves, has been achieved with daily low doses of PDe5 inhibitors. Extra high doses of PDe5 inhibitors can also improve erection response and retention, if side effects can be tolerated. EG. Viagra is normally only recommended up to 100mg, but controlled experiments with 150mg and 200mg doses have had some success. The author seems to be having success with 150mg and plans to go for another 'test drive' once his Lady Of Pleasure is out of COVID19 self isolation. The other factor in ED 'recovery' noted in some studies, is frequency of use, even if it is DIY ('Use It Or Lose It' will be addressed in a coming post). 

 
Click to see who else is taking the challenge. 

Embarrassing Moments - Forgetting to Pay

It was a recent post by Capital Punter on the protocol of paying, that brought this incident to mind.  It wasn't just forgetting to pay that was embarrassing, but the situation that led up to it.

I had started to see T privately after she decided to leave the "industry".  I was her only "client" but we had never actually discussed payment or amounts.  On previous visits I had simply left a generous "gift" in an envelope on the table.

On this particular occasion, we had planned to go out to lunch on the Wednesday, but a massive storm blew up Tuesday night and the roof of T's house sprung a leak and she had water dripping through the ceiling.  The owner and/or agent were to come to inspect the damage on the Wednesday afternoon, so our little tête-à-tête was postponed to Thursday.  

So on Thursday, we had had a wonderful couple of hours and were reclining in the lounge, sipping hot chai lattes, she in nothing but a bath-robe, and me mostly dressed but in stockinged feet and jacketless.  

Suddenly the dogs started barking outside - T looked out the window and saw a couple of tradesmen coming to the door.  It appears that they had been sent to prepare a quotation for repairs.  T was thus tied up showing the workmen the problem, so I quietly said my goodbye and excused myself.

It was the next day that I got a text message from T saying that she couldn't find my "envelope" and that she thought we had a "business relationship".  Oops!  Red face!!!  I quickly arranged a wire transfer.