Yum! Cum!

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N.O. - No!!! (#AtoZChallenge)

As sex bloggers, we celebrate "Yes! Yes! Yeeeees!!!!"

In the sub-genre of Kink and BDSM though, "No!" or a 'safe word' is equally important, primarily to avoid injury, but also to communicate a boundary of comfort.

Image from pixabay.com

But in all human relationships, respecting each others boundaries is important. In this time of Corona Virus quarantine and isolation, sadly there has been a rise in family violence. In marriage and committed relationships, there must always be 'give and take', or recognition and respect of each others differing boundaries. Sadly, there are still some men that think "she must give" and "I will take". In my own marriage, I wanted the traditional wording of "taking" each other, to be reversed to "giving" of ourselves to the other.

Unfortunately, the fantasy of romantic love often includes the concepts of being swept off your feet by your knight in shining armour and being taken away to his castle to live happily every after. At the heights of sexual ecstasy, utterances of wanting to be 'taken' or 'possessed' are common. But these are just enjoyable, emotional fantasies of the moment and are not constructive in mundane, day to day life.

In marriage IRL, "No!" means "No!". Sadly, it's only been in the last 30-40 years that "rape in marriage" has finally been recognized and a wife is no longer her husband's chattel, well at least here in Oz and some other countries. Sadly, there are still places and cultures where the male has all the power - please remember to pray for these oppressed women. 

As I moved into the world of transactional sex, enforcement of boundaries is even more important and has a contractual type basis. Sadly, there are still too many men that treat these Ladies of Pleasure as objects for their use and constantly try to push those boundaries. Worse are the creeps that traffic young women into their service where they aren't even permitted to utter the word "No!".

As sex bloggers, we must always remember the fine line we walk between being sex positive and remembering and respecting those who do not have such freedom.

 
Click to see who else is taking the challenge. 

L - Linctus (Love Juice) (#AtoZChallenge)

When I started out on this new life, I had never had the pleasure of cunnilingus, of going down on my wife. So when I started to experience these new delights and thought of blogging, my first thought of a blog title included "cunnilingus", but I quickly found that title taken. I was also having some interesting and sometimes funny pillow talk experiences, so I went with a play on words to make "The Cunning Linctus" (some of my posts included "Cunning Conversations").

Now "Linctus" is normally a cough syrup. Because of "Love Juice's" sensual, almost intoxicating taste and smell, "Linctus" seemed a suitable descriptor.

Now a lady's linctus is normally vaginal lubrication, but then I encountered the occasional squirter ("Christmas Drinks at the Y" with Miss R). I thought I had died and gone to heaven, from gulping down mouth fulls, to a warm waterfall flooding down over my loins. Hot damn...

But there is the other "linctus", enjoyed by a few ladies. Miss T was one such lady that seemed like she couldn't get enough of my "Linctus" when she brought me to some explosive orgasms. OMG...

 

Click to see who else is taking the challenge. 

K - Kissing

Kissing is one of those activities that can cover a multitude of situations. There is the simple greeting kiss on the cheek(s), which can be between friends or familial. There is the welcome back/home kiss, intense and longing. There is the goodbye kiss, also often long but sad. A variation of the goodbye kiss, is the chaste goodbye (its over), extra sad. At the other extreme is the Judas kiss.

Coming to romantic kissing, there are the erogenous kisses, caressing and exploring all the various erogenous zones of each other's bodies. Then there is the very special vulva kiss, the "Australian Kiss" or Dining At The 'Y'.

I was reminded of this kissing subject, cooling down after a very hot session with a favourite Lady Of Pleasure and she complimented me on my kissing style. She then made a comment about another client's kissing style (open mouthed) that she found a total turn-off. Thus our conversation turned to various kissing styles that we had encountered, both as client and service provider.

Top (or is that bottom) of my list (of turn-offs), is the "non-kisser" - she thinks it is 'too personal'. OK, I respect her choices but I reserve my choice to not book her. "Too personal"? WTF? She isn't taking me into the bedroom to shake hands after all? This is a warning sign of a possible "star-fish" experience.

Then there is the "tight lipped" kisser. She might as well be a "non-kisser". I expect this sort of kiss from my maiden aunt.

Turning to the slightly quirky, there is the "lip nibbler" (top or bottom) - usually as a way of kissing yet avoiding "the tongue!"

Next is the "open mouther" my friend described. I find it hard to imagine - he "kissed" her with mouth fixed open with no movement of lips or tongue - strange!

The "hot-rod tongue" kisses with his/her tongue held hard and straight into the other's mouth.  When I encounter this type, I am tempted to suck on it like a lollipop. When used in cunnilingus, many ladies find this "tongue fucking" a bit of a turn-off too until she is good and ready.

Then there is the "not after you've been down there" type. OK, I respect her choice. I just wish I knew at the start so we could arrange our "moves" in a more suitable sequence.

Now we come to my type - "French" kissing (or DFK). This kissing is dynamic as lips and tongue caress each other and intertwine.  My best ladies and I find it such a turn-on.

Finally, the converse of the "not after you've been down there" type, you occasionally meet a "snow baller" - after having Cum In her Mouth (CIM) you then share your linctus together. Its not to every-body's taste mind you. Conversely, if I have given her a cream-pie, I am a gentleman and I am more than ready to clean up my mess and share if she likes. My mother always said, "Don't lick the plate!", but I never took any notice of mother.

Have I missed any styles?

Click to see who else is Mouthing off

this Wicked Wednesday #458

The Five Senses Of Sex

A few years ago, I had the great pleasure of a number of home visits with a delightful Booty Buddy, TM (a previous Lady Of Pleasure). Now TM had an uncommon taste for ejaculate. Further she was especially turned on by the multi-sensual process.  

For the sake of this post, it might be best if I write in the first person from her perspective, based on how she described it to me.

(TM) "Tom had taken a half day off work for a morning visit. I had a nice lie-in in bed awaiting his knock on the door. When he arrived, he had warm, fresh-baked croissants and fresh squeezed orange juice - yum. We quickly slipped back into my still-warm bed to share breakfast, but that was short-lived as we couldn't keep our hands and mouths off each other.

Now I was pretty horny waiting for him, but I was wet and needy now in no time. I love fucking mature experienced gents like Tom - he really knows how to please a women, his touches, his kisses, his mouth, his tongue. For now, he makes it all about me. I lost count of how many times he had me orgasming, but Tom still hadn't come himself (its an age thing he tells me). It must have been almost an hour before we rolled apart, breathless, hot and perspiring.

We must have cuddled together for all of 5 minutes as we cooled a little and caught our breaths. But like Oliver, I wanted MORE, but not just for me this time, but something special for US, together.

I rolled Tom onto his back, and slid down his body, trailing my fingers down his arms and kisses down his chest. As I reached his cock, I flicked the tip of his glans with my tongue, then engulfed his shaft in my mouth. His still semi-erect cock stirred back to life.

But I wasn't after just a common old blow-job - I have something very special in mind. Now we have discussed this once before and Tom had indicated that a DIY hand-job gave him better control and outcome. I signal to him to take hold. I slide down further so I can lick his scrotum and suck his balls. I look up the length of his body and ours eyes meet. His eyes are smiling, his lips are moist and he licks them lightly. The look of his tongue and lips bring back memories of where they were just half an hour ago. I can feel my cunt getting slick and hot with the memory. My gaze caresses his whole body, his shoulders, chest, those abs, the bulging arm muscles as he pumps his cock. I stretch my arms up to surround his hips and my fingers stroke his stomach and I can feel him lifting to meet his down strokes. My head is against his leg and I can hear his pulse starting to race in his arteries. His breath is fast now - the sound of his gasps has my own breaths and heart beating in sync. My nostrils are on fire now as they take in the sent of our earlier sex. I can smell and taste my own cunni-linctus on his thighs and scrotum.

Tom's hand is really pumping now. I can see his engorged purple glans above his fist. His shaft is thick and red and hard now. He lets out a little grunt and his torso lifts and starts to shake a little. He has stopped pumping now and just holding his glans. The thick purple veins are bulging around his dick the urethra along the underside is bulging now, filling up with his lovely cum. I can see it starting to twitch, then Tom lets go and says "Its your's now"!

I pounce, and clamp my mouth around his glans, clamping my lips tightly so that he has no escape.  I can feel his cum building up in his locked shaft, swelling even more. Tom's body arches and stiffens and a little 'Urgh' slips out in agony, before the ecstasy as I release my grip. Tom erupts like a massive hot geyser blasting his love-juice against the back of my throat. I gulp down the first mouthful. He keeps coming for what seems like ages, but probably only 5-10 seconds. My mouth is full again and his cum is running out the corners down his shaft. As his orgasm subsides, I swirl his load around in my mouth, savouring the taste and texture - not unlike molluscs sauteed in salted butter and cream - just my favourite, although an acquired taste. As I swallow my second mouthful, I lick up and down and round and round his cock, licking up every last drop.

As his deflating cock subsides, I come up his body and we embrace and share a fantastic, salty, Deep French Kiss.

Tom tells me it is the most intense orgasm he has ever had.

Now that's the way to Break Fast!"

"Port and cigar" finale

This post is addressed to those fellow senior connoisseurs that don’t always achieve a “happy ending”.

Being of an age now where BJs never “Blow” (neither covered or bare-back) and 50% of the time the Main Course is not completely fulfilling either, a special Lady-of-Pleasure introduced me to DIYHJ with CIM&S.

On our 2nd ‘outing’ I discovered she had a real taste for cum. However, I have yet to find a lady that really understands what a man needs in a good HJ, so I suggested I DIY in preparation for her.  

Now, not only does she have a “taste” for it, but is quite turned on watching – the straining arm muscles, bulging veins, the reddening, thickening member, her open mouth hovering over-head, her tongue occasionally flicking out to lick off some pre-cum, the tightening of the scrotum. Then just at the crucial moment, I say, “Its all yours!”, and she pounces. Her suction on my exploding knob is awesome, much better than either DIYHJ or BBBJs individually. And she keeps sucking with every spasm, milking me dry, swallowing every last drop.

So if you find a lady that offers CIM&S, then I highly recommend this finish. Once she has had her quota of O’s and the main course has explored all positions, then this is a magnificent “port and cigar” finale - smokin’.

 

Cunnilingus - Responses

To wrap up my trilogy on Cunnilingus, starting with "Cunnilingus 101" then "Cunnilingus Don'ts", I thought it was time to write a follow-up post about the female responses to cunnilingus.  Again, like the original post, this is purely one man's observations, so additional feedback, especially from lady readers, would be very much appreciated.

Of the dozens and dozens of ladies I have had the pleasure and delight of "dining on", every one responded differently.  I will try to roughly group them by similarity of response.

The Unexpected

With many professional Ladies of Pleasure, orgasm can be a wearying drain on a day full of clients.  Thus many refuse cunnilingus outright.  I remember one lovely young thing agreeing, but saying that she probably wouldn't be able to cum - I was delighted to have her bucking in under 5 minutes.  Another neophyte didn't even expect that she could or was "allowed" to cum in a commercial arrangement - she squealed with surprise and delight when she did.

One A Day

Not all ladies are able to be multi-orgasmic.  One special buddy of mine, could only ever have one orgasm per day.  So we timed our meetings so that that one was a mighty good one.

Vocality

Vocal response during orgasm varies from a small grunt and sigh, through "Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh God, Yes!", to the "screamer"s - one lady I saw was nicknamed "Firecracker" - she went off so loudly that everybody in the place knew it.  Some others wanted to, but bit on their wrist to hold it back.  But beware, her verbal response is easily exaggerated.

Encouragement

When a lady is really starting to appreciate your ministrations you will receive encouraging signs.  She will be pushing back into you.  I have had ladies who I could swear their vulva was kissing me back.  Then there are those that give directions - take notice - she knows what she likes so let her guide you.  Then there are ladies that grab my head and pull my face hard against their cunt, twisting and squirming their pelvis against my face  - just be careful she doesn't suffocate you.

The Linctus of Love

Probably the first obvious response is lubricating.  Like all the responses listed her, the degree will vary enormously from lady to lady and time to time.  But from my experience at least, gushing or squirting is highly unlikely from cunnilingus alone.  I would certainly like to hear if your experience differs.

The Lichter Scale

I have had enough ladies 'in my face' to know that the intensity of the female orgasm is very much an individual thing and that 'stronger' does not automatically imply 'better', so I won't put any numbers on the Lichter scale.  I have ladies who's orgasms are a ripple through their body.  And I've had ladies who's orgasms seize their body totally stiff - pity me if I have their legs around my neck.  There are orgasms that are a single contraction with perhaps a single after-spasm. On the other hand, I have had ladies who contracted repeatedly, perhaps up to a dozen times.

Controlled Release

Occasionally I meet a lady who knows her own body very well, an obvious player of her fine instrument.  Although technically on the receiving end, she controls and paces her response, not allowing herself to tip over the edge of full orgasm.  She prefers to rumble along a plateau of pre-orgasm, then only let herself go when she is good and ready for maximum effect.

Clitoral vs Vaginal Orgasm

This is one of those topics that is more meaningful to ladies than to we mere males.  It took me 2 years of 'research' before I encountered a practical demonstration.  This particular lady was quite multi-orgasmic.  After her third or fourth (clitoral) orgasm, I added some digital stimulation of her G-spot to my cunnilingus.  Suddenly there was a deep-down, almost rumbling sort of contractions that built up and up to a full body orgasm.    Her response was "Oh God, I needed that.  I haven't had one of those for months".

The Blossoming

One of the most beautiful sights for a cunnilinguist, is the blossoming of your ladies vulva.  Again, the degree of response is highly individual and highly dependant on the lady's personal anatomy (go and read "Pussy Pride" if you are not fully aware of the wide diversity of vaginal anatomy).  Like an erectile response, her inner labia engorge with blood, swelling until they spread the outer labia and 'pop' out like a flower bud opening.  By this time, her vagina is gaping open, calling to you, "Come and fuck me".  (The particular lady I visualise with fond memories, was coincidentally a "one-a-day" lady).

Read up on Sexual Arousal at “https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Sexual_arousal”.

Bon Appetit

Well that's enough for now. Your feedback and sharing your own experiences would be greatly appreciated.

All that's left to say, is "Bon appetit!".

Cunnilingus Don'ts

With the popularity of my "Cunnilingus 101" post, and after discussing it with my buddy, Oh Gracious One (OGO), and she telling me of some of her turn-offs, I thought it time I wrote about the "Don'ts" of cunnilingus.

No Means No!

Even in a "commercial" arrangement, this still applies - this is a negotiable option only.  And it doesn't just mean a verbal "No"!  If your lady pushes you away or expresses discomfort or dislike, that's still "No!".  Proceeding with unwanted cunnilingus is "Rape" in some jurisdictions, or at least "Sexual assault".  Reread my original post  and RESPECT your ladies wishes.

Don't Bite

I could hardly believe OGO when she said that she had men bite her lady bits. Firm nibbling with your lips perhaps if she agrees, but biting - ouch. How would you like it if she sunk her teeth into the tip if your cock? Oh, you do?  Its all about preferences - respect each others.

Beware Stubble Rash

Facial hair, like public hair, is a choice and acquired taste.  The two-day-old stubble might look "manly" but even 5-o'clock shadow can be quite irritating on a ladies sensitive bits. I always try and have a fresh shave before visiting my ladies. I did forget once and my lady told me it was rough - so I placed my hands on her inner thighs so my stubbly cheeks don't touch her skin and a wonderful time was had by all.

Don't be a Pussy

OGO told me that one of her pet peeves is the man that lightly flicks his tongue on her bits.  She likes her cunnilingus full on, like Deep French Kissing on the mouth.  Again, find out what each individual lady likes.

Oral Hygeine

No-one like kissing anyone with halitosis. But with cunnilingus, the risk of infection is higher. So gum disease, bleeding gums or cold sores on the lips means cunnilingus is off the menu, just like if she has her period. But kissing of her erogenous zones, ears, neck breasts, inner thighs or mons can be a real turn-on.

Long Nails are Not In

If you plan on searching for her "G" spot, your finger nails had better be clipped and filed.

Your "Visiting Kit"

When visiting my ladies, I have my own "visiting kit" - razor, tooth brush, mouth wash, deodorant, nail clippers, massage oil and condoms.  Be a good scout and Be Prepared, and you will be hearing "Don't stop!", instead of "DON'T!".

Cunnilingus 101

Since "Cunning Linctus" is the result of good cunnilingus, I thought the time was long overdue for a "Cunnilingus 101" post.  Now don't get me wrong, I am not professing to be an expert, though many of my ladies have made very complimentary noises ("Oh my God, don't stop!").  I have learnt by trial and error (fortunately not too much of the later).  And I am writing as a male, so you should also get some female perspectives.

From the start, you need to understand that it is not just about technique, but like all good sex, is very much about attitude, mood and personal "connectedness".  So if you have come together with mutual 'joie de vivre' and desire for mutual pleasure, then you have started off on the right foot.  

Invitation to Dine At The “Y”?

Now it might seem trite and obvious, but ensure beforehand that the lady will be receptive, either by explicit or implicit Q&A in the introduction (whether face-to-face, by phone or e-mail).  Remember, that in the commercial environment, not all ladies are willing to provide this level of service (see my "Respecting Personal Preferences and Space" post). Some ladies don't like it on a first visit - wait until you have got to know each other a bit.  Also, time-of-day and time-of-month come into play.  I have had some ladies turn down an offer because she has had “too many clients just trying to make me come”!  Personally, I find ladies most receptive in their first booking of the day/week, or last booking of the day when they are ready for some “me time”.

Preparation

Again, it might seem trite and obvious, but it still needs to be stated - make sure you have prepared yourself physically before your encounter - freshly smooth shaved, showered, deodorized, nails closely trimmed, teeth brushed and gargled, and of course you won't be punting if you have mouth ulcers, cracked lips or cold-sores (you don't want to be giving or receiving anything except pleasure)!

Warming Up

So, now you're in the bedroom.  Sure, the punting situation is time-constrained, but the "warm-up" and "get-to-know" phases are still important.  Don't just dive straight in - there will be carressing, kissing, and discovering erogenous zones, neck, ear-lobes, breasts, nipples.  Slowly work your way down her body with light kissing and licking, perhaps down one leg, up the inner thighs, across her pubes, then the other leg and back up, circling in on her sweet spot.

Anatomy 101

Lets pause at this point to ensure you have a working knowledge of the female genital anatomy - the outer and inner lips (labia), the location of the clitoris and urethra (advanced Linguists will also need to know the location of the "G-spot").  Internet photos and video will help in understanding the enormous variety, but only with experience can you appreciate the variety of "innies", "outies" and "flaps", prominent and embedded clits, not to mention artificial adornments.

Technique - More Lips, Less Tongue

In terms of technique, I can't go much better than the phrase from fellow dearly departed blogger ‘The Barreness’ - "More lips, less tongue" (and definitely no teeth!).  Cunnilingus is much more akin to kissing than intercourse, and should not be seen as an opportunity to fuck your lady with your tongue (or finger), though digital stimulation of her G-spot may be used by experience practitioners once she is fully excited, if agreeable.

Its not a good idea to home straight in on her clit. Perhaps kiss your way up her inner thigh, circle the outer labia. Gently lick across the inner labia, very gently sucking each lip in turn. Lick up and down her slit, from her clit to gently parting her lips with your tongue. Well, you can work out the rest...

Be Sensitive to Feedback

Be guided by your lady’s responses.  If in doubt ask her if she likes something.  If she puts her hands on your head and pulls you hard into her or wraps her legs around you in a neck lock, then you know you are doing something right - just beware the orgasmic pelvic 'punch in the nose'.  Be aware that she will get super-sensitive and that you then need to pull back or stop (unless of course she screams “No! No! NO!!! DON’T STOP!!!”.

Also be aware of the variety or intensity and frequency of female orgasm.  Some ladies will not come easily.  Others only come once.  There is a plateau state where a lady will shudder on the brink for some time.  Mostly you will encounter clitoral orgasms, but deep vaginal orgasm typically from G-spot stimulation is something different.  It wasn’t until I triggered one once that I now understand the difference - “My god.  I haven’t had one of those for months!” was her response.

Know When to Back Off

As part of your feedback, be sensitive about when it isn't working and when you need to back off. In your early attempts, don't be discouraged if you just can't make it work for your lady. Or it simply just might not be her day. Be respectful, and don't overstay your welcome.

Give Her Time To Recover

Be aware of her sensitivity afterwards.  She might not be ready to progress straight into intercourse.

Post DATY Benefits

If you have pleasured your lady well, she will very likely be highly desirous to have her fill of you.  There is just nothing as good as a very horny lady grinding her pubes against you till you both come together.

Feedback Your Experiences

I would love to hear of your experiences (and I’m sure other readers would too).  Do you have any tips to add or question to put out there?  I know this post had only skimmed to topic, so perhaps there might be an “Advanced Cunnilingus” somewhere in the future.

Respecting Personal Preferences & Space

The big lie of the anti-prostitution lobby (and Hollywood) is the "straw-man" argument that generalizes all "working" ladies as down-and-out drug addicts controlled and abused by their "pimps".  Of course, nothing could be further from the truth.

However, as punters it is also easy for us to fall into the trap of expecting all "services" to be the same just because we are paying for them.  But these ladies are individuals with their own preferences and prejudices, feelings and foibles, from the same gamut of backgrounds and relationships as we of the punter population, and deserve to be shown the same respect as anyone else.

Because the service she is selling is such a personal service, unlike any other service or goods for sale, it is imperative that the buyer and the seller should come to an understand at the very beginning of what the ground-rules, preferences and boundaries are. (However, what I am not particularly happy with are the artificial boundaries some ladies put up simply to extract extra cash).

For example, anyone who has 'known' a number of ladies quickly discovers that there is a wide range of natural kissing styles, just as I am sure the ladies will say the same about the gentlemen they see.  But what we are discussing here is when a lady finds passionate kissing too "personal" for her liking - perhaps she has a special friend or partner for whom she wants to reserve that right.  Respect her choice.

If a lady is not comfortable with something you are asking for, then don't make the booking.  If she is offering services beyond your comfort zone, then draw your line - if its in the middle of service just say "I'm not comfortable with that, lets not go there".  Respect each others choices.

I have encountered a wide range or ladies' preferences, from the "star fish" that wanted no personal interaction at all and saw her role purely as a "receptical" for her client (never booked her again), to the almost sex-crazed nymphomaniac (a regular I see as often as I can cope with her).

So lets look at some of these personal preferences:-

Kissing restriction on certain erogenous zones (ear lobes, neck, nipples, toes, etc)? Respect her preferences.

Oral on you, yes, no, with or without? (Note in some Australian states, this is now a legal issue though how it can be policed beats me). Respect her preferences.

Blow-job - COF, Spanish, CIM, swallow? Respect her tastes.

Oral on her, yes or no? Respect her preferences.

Fingering - clitoral stimulation only or internal G-spot? Respect her preferences.

Use of toys? On her? On you? Food as toys? Respect each others preferences.

Fantasies and dress-up? Type? 'French Maid' might be OK, but 'baby diaper' might be too far.  Respect her preferences.

'Dirty' talk? Respect her preferences.

Sexual intercourse itself is a given for 'escort' and brothel services, but recognize that ladies that opt for stripper and exotic dancing services are NOT offering full sex.  So don't embarrass yourself and ask or pressure a lady.  Respect her choice.

Then there are services beyond the 'normal' which are more likely to attract an extra charge and are more usually special offerings advertised.

Anal (Greek)?

B&D

Dom/Sub? Pain?

Sex is meant to be an enjoyable activity, so don't spoil it for yourself or your lady by pushing beyond a person's comfort zone.

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