Showing posts with label lichter-scale. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lichter-scale. Show all posts

Monday, 23 August 2021

Little Black Spreadsheet

To be honest, before blogging, I was never one for writing in a journal or diary, other than dates of appointments and birthdays to remember. I am of the Baby Boomer generation, where "Little Black Book" was a literal paper book.

After a long dry spell in a lustless marriage, I decided to confirm how bad it was and put a pocket diary and pencil in my bedside drawer, into which I would log every time we had sex. Twelve months later I pulled it out and found it empty. That's when I found an unopened box of condoms that had passed their expiry date.

When I decided to address my unhappiness with some transactional sexual pleasure, I started a (Little Black) spreadsheet, my FOTM book, of who, where, when and quality of service. By having a written record, I had something to trigger memories, like ‘pinching’ oneself to remind yourself that this is real, that I was crawling out of that hole of depression, that I had to take responsibility for my own happiness.

But in time, it’s purpose changed to more of a management tool. It helped in selecting the type of Ladies Of Pleasure (LOP) I would see, which brothels had the best ladies (to my taste), frequency vs length of service. I remember discussing this point with one special lady, of shorter encounters (30 mins) more frequently, or longer 1 hour encounters less frequently. Of course, I was sucked (literally) into longer encounters more frequently! The diary also provided a form of budget monitoring.

Further, I was able to keep a record of which ladies were available on which days of the week.

It also helped me in discovering what aspects of sex I enjoyed best. Each encounter was rated (1-5) in 5 categories, ‘KODSQ’, Kissing, Oral (fellatio), DATY (cunnilingus), Sex (coitus), and overall Quality of service (personal connection, attitude, etc). In time, I found some exceptional ladies that qualified for a 6 or 7/5 on some points, then later I high-lighted the date of some encounters in red for “above and beyond the call of duty” (House rules). These exceptional ladies fell into the 'nympho' category where their pleasure was as important as mine. Buddy pleasure extends well beyond the purely physical.

(Note that there are no categories for looks or body type)!

(Wow! 30 times with 20 ladies in 12 months back in 2011. Sort of broke my 'monthly' rule. Sadly, 2019 totaled just 2).

When I started blogging ‘The Cunning Linctus’, it was initially a personal journal of specific encounters with my Ladies Of Pleasure, especially for very special or interesting times. I started a ‘Cunning Conversations’ series of some of my very interesting post coital pillow talks. In time, the blog became public and I started addressing broader issues like sex education, writing/blogging techniques, then later I added in erotic fiction.

Now some 13 years since it started, with Covid lock-downs and generally less time to sample who’s out there, I used it for forward planning. As I read reviews of ladies I found interesting, I made a note of name, place, availability and types of service (as reviewed), then as I found more reviews of a lady, I updated the details with the accuracy of the ratings. So when an opportunity arose, I had a list of possibilities to choose from and some expectation of the type of service I might get.

But come 2021, we are in this city's 6th Covid lock-down. My last 2 excursions have been more like 'buddy calls' than 'booty calls'. Post prostate ED recovery hasn't been quite as successful as I hoped. So it might be time for my LBS to be relegated to the book of memories beside the photo albums.


Click to see who else has been Wicked
especially when diarized!

Friday, 9 July 2021

Cunnilingus - Techniques, Do's, Don'ts and Attitude

When I saw the prompt for 'The Oral Sex Project' was "Oral Techniques", I thought it was time I collected and refreshed a group of posts from 2012 & 2013. They were written from a male perspective, in primarily transactional sex situations and were originally targeted at fellow 'punters'. Those posts started out with "Cunnilingus 101" which is by far my most frequently read post, passing 6000 views in 9 years, and still gets 1 or 2 views per day. In this compilation essay, I present them in a different order, starting with a question from a reader.

Co-incidentally, the current "4Thoughts" meme prompt is "Addiction" and I can't think of anything more addictive in sex than the visual, olfactory, tactile, aural and palatable delights of cunnilingus.

(Gender note: This was written 9 years ago where he/him and she/her had their traditional meanings. Any use of 'male' references should be read to include all 'givers' of cunnilingus, and she/her refers to persons with a vulva).

Why Doesn't She Respond to Cunnilingus?

The simple answer is - use your tongue - TALK TO HER!

Does she want you 'down there' at all?

Does she enjoy being touched and if so, where?

Does she enjoy self masturbation?  Some ladies just cannot bring themselves to have oral sex at all, either giving or receiving. Respect her.

Have you asked her how she likes it? Ask for directions!

Does she have any "turn offs"?  See "Cunnilingus Don'ts" below.

What responses were you expecting?  Every woman's response is different. (See "Cunnilingus Responses") If you go down with high expectations, then you are highly likely to be disappointed.  

Cunnilingus is NOT fore-play - there needs to be a lot of play before you go down. Below in "Cunnilingus 101", I cover a lot of basics around techniques.

There was a phrase used in old-fashioned marriage vows, "With my body I thee worship", that is worth revisiting.  Good "sex" is a 'whole of body and mind' experience by/for both partners.

Are you both enjoying yourselves?  Then enjoy the ride and be surprised at what might happen!

Cunnilingus 101

Don't get me wrong, I am not professing to be an expert, though many of my ladies have made very complimentary noises ("Oh my God, don't stop!"). In fact it was one of my lovely appreciative ladies that dubbed me "Thomas the Tongue Engine". I have learnt by trial and error (fortunately not too much of the later).  Also, I am writing as a male, but as I write below it is critical that you take guidance from your lady(s). Further many of the points raised come from my ladies themselves in our conversations

From the start, you need to understand that it is not just about technique, but like all good sex, is very much about attitude, mood and personal "connectedness".  So if you have come together with mutual 'joie de vivre' and desire for mutual pleasure, then you have started off on the right foot.  

Invitation to Dine At The “Y”?

Now it might seem trite and obvious, but ensure beforehand that the lady will be receptive, either by explicit or implicit Q&A in your introduction.  Remember, that in the commercial environment, not all ladies are willing to provide this level of service (see my "Respecting Personal Preferences and Space" post). Some ladies don't like it on a first visit - wait until you have got to know each other a bit. Also, time-of-day and time-of-month come into play. I have had some ladies turn down an offer because she has had “too many clients just trying to make me come”!  Personally, I find ladies most receptive in their first booking of the day/week, or last booking of the day when they are ready for some “me time”.

Preparation

Again, it might seem trite and obvious, but it still needs to be stated - make sure you have prepared yourself physically before your encounter - freshly smooth shaved, showered, deodorized, nails closely trimmed, teeth brushed and gargled, and of course you won't be 'going down there' if you have mouth ulcers, cracked lips or cold-sores (you don't want to be giving or receiving anything except pleasure)!

Warming Up

The "warm-up" and "get-to-know" phases are important.  Don't just dive straight in - there will be caressing, kissing, and discovering erogenous zones, neck, ear-lobes, breasts, nipples. Slowly work your way down her body with light kissing and licking, perhaps down one leg, up the inner thighs, across her pubes, then the other leg and back up, circling in on her sweet spot.

Anatomy 101

Lets pause at this point to ensure you have a working knowledge of the female genital anatomy - the outer and inner lips (labia), the location of the clitoris and urethra relative to the vaginal entrance (advanced Linguists will also need to know the location of the "G-spot").  Internet photos and video will help in understanding the enormous variety, but only with experience can you appreciate the variety of "innies", "outies" and "flaps", prominent and embedded clits, not to mention artificial adornments.

Technique - More Lips, Less Tongue

In terms of technique, I can't go much better than the phrase from fellow dearly departed blogger ‘The Barreness’ - "More lips, less tongue" (and definitely no teeth!).  Cunnilingus is much more akin to kissing than intercourse, and should not be seen as just an opportunity to fuck your lady with your tongue (or finger), though digital stimulation of her G-spot may be used by experienced practitioners once she is fully excited, if agreeable.

Its not a good idea to home straight in on her clit. Perhaps kiss your way up her inner thigh, circle the outer labia. Gently lick across the outer labia, very gently sucking each lip in turn. Lick up and down her slit, from her clit to gently parting her lips with your tongue. Well, you can work out the rest...

Be Sensitive to Feedback

Be guided by your lady’s responses. If in doubt ask her if she likes something. If she puts her hands on your head and pulls you hard into her or wraps her legs around you in a neck lock, then you know you are doing something right - just beware the orgasmic pelvic 'punch in the nose'.  Be aware that she will get super-sensitive and that you then need to pull back or stop (unless of course she screams “No! No! NO!!! DON’T STOP!!!”.

Also be aware of the variety or intensity and frequency of female orgasm. Some ladies will not come easily. Others only come once. There is a plateau state where a lady will shudder on the brink for some time. Mostly you will encounter clitoral orgasms, but deep vaginal orgasm typically from G-spot stimulation is something different. It wasn’t until I triggered one once that I now understand the difference - “My god.  I haven’t had one of those for months!” was her response.

Know When to Back Off

As part of your feedback, be sensitive about when it isn't working and when you need to back off. In your early attempts, don't be discouraged if you just can't make it work for your lady. Or it simply just might not be her day. Be respectful, and don't overstay your welcome.

Give Her Time To Recover

Be aware of her sensitivity afterwards. She might not be ready to progress straight into intercourse.

Post DATY Benefits

If you have pleasured your lady well, she will very likely be highly desirous to have her fill of you.

Cunnilingus Responses

Of the dozens and dozens of ladies I have had the pleasure and delight of "dining on", every one responded differently. I will try to roughly group them by similarity of response. I have a separate post dedicated exclusively to "O-O-O-OMG! The Female Orgasm".

The Unexpected

With many professional Ladies of Pleasure, orgasm can be a wearying drain on a day full of clients. Thus many refuse cunnilingus outright. I remember one lovely young thing agreeing, but saying that she probably wouldn't be able to cum - I was delighted to have her bucking in under 5 minutes. Another neophyte didn't even expect that she could or was "allowed" to cum in a commercial arrangement - she squealed with surprise and delight when she did.

One A Day

Not all ladies are able to be multi-orgasmic. One special buddy of mine, could only ever have one orgasm per day. So we timed our meetings so that that one was a mighty good one. (It's a bit like blogging - some people can write one or more times per day, but some of us struggle with a weekly post).

Vocality

Vocal response during orgasm varies from a small grunt and sigh, through "Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh God, Yes!", to the "screamer"s - one lady I saw was nicknamed "Firecracker" - she went off so loudly that everybody in the place knew it. Some others wanted to, but bite on their wrist to hold it back. But beware, her verbal response is easily exaggerated. (For myself, I'm afraid I'm a 'quiet achiever'!)

Encouragement

When a lady is really starting to appreciate your ministrations you will receive encouraging signs. She will be pushing back into you. I have had ladies who I could swear their vulva was kissing me back. Then there are those that give directions - take notice - she knows what she likes so let her guide you. Then there are ladies that grab my head and pull my face hard against their cunt, twisting and squirming their pelvis against my face  - just be careful she doesn't suffocate you.

The Linctus of Love

Probably the first obvious response is lubricating. Like all the responses listed here, the degree will vary enormously from lady to lady and time to time. But from my experience at least, gushing or squirting is highly unlikely from cunnilingus alone, though there are the exceptions.

The "Lichter" Scale

I have had enough ladies 'in my face' to know that the intensity of the female orgasm is very much an individual thing and that 'stronger' does not automatically imply 'better', so I won't put any numbers on the Lichter scale. I have ladies who's orgasms are a ripple through their body. And I've had ladies who's orgasms seize their body totally stiff - pity me if I have their legs around my neck. There are orgasms that are a single contraction with perhaps a single after-spasm. On the other hand, I have had ladies who contracted repeatedly, perhaps up to a dozen times.

Controlled Release

Occasionally I meet a lady who knows her own body very well, an obvious player of her fine instrument. Although technically on the receiving end, she controls and paces her response, not allowing herself to tip over the edge of full orgasm. She prefers to rumble along a plateau of continuous pleasure in pre-orgasm, then only letting herself go when she is good and ready for maximum effect.

Clitoral vs Vaginal Orgasm

This is one of those topics that is more meaningful to ladies than to we mere males. Some people still dispute whether different types of orgasm even occur. Mind you, I'm sure most ladies only experience one type of orgasm, whether or clitoral or vaginal stimulation - it's all about individual nerve and neuronal 'wiring'.

It took me 2 years of 'research' before I encountered a practical demonstration. This particular lady was quite multi-orgasmic. After her third or fourth (clitoral) orgasm, I added some digital stimulation of her G-spot to my cunnilingus. Suddenly there was a deep-down, almost rumbling sort of contractions that built up and up to a full body orgasm. Her response was "Oh God, I needed that. I haven't had one of those for months".

The Blossoming

One of the most beautiful sights for a cunnilinguist, is the blossoming of your ladies vulva. Again, the degree of response is highly individual and highly dependent on the lady's personal anatomy (go and read "Pussy Pride" if you are not fully aware of the wide diversity of vaginal anatomy). Like an erectile response, her labia engorge with blood, swelling until they spread and 'pop' out like a flower bud opening. By this time, her vagina is gaping open, calling to you, "Come and fuck me". (The particular lady I visualise with fond memories, was coincidentally a "one-a-day" lady.

Read up on "Sexual Arousal" at https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Sexual_arousal”)

All that's left to say, is "Bon appetit!".

Cunnilingus Don'ts

After discussing the above posts with my buddy, "Oh Gracious One", she shared with me some of her turn-offs.

No Means No!

Even in a "commercial" arrangement, this still applies - this is a negotiable option only. And it doesn't just mean a verbal "No"! If your lady pushes you away or expresses discomfort or dislike, that's still "No!". Proceeding with unwanted cunnilingus is "Rape" in some jurisdictions, or at least "Sexual assault".

Don't Bite

I could hardly believe OGO when she said that she had men bite her lady bits. Firm nibbling with your lips perhaps if she agrees, but biting - ouch. How would you like it if she sunk her teeth into the tip if your cock? Oh, you do? Its all about preferences - respect each other's.

Beware Stubble Rash

Facial hair, like public hair, is a choice and acquired taste. The two-day-old stubble might look "manly" but even 5-o'clock shadow can be quite irritating on a ladies sensitive bits. I always try and have a fresh shave before visiting my ladies. I did forget once and my lady told me it was rough - so I placed my hands on her inner thighs so my stubbly cheeks don't touch her skin and a wonderful time was had by all.

Don't be a Pussy

OGO told me that one of her pet peeves is the man that lightly flicks his tongue on her bits. She likes her cunnilingus full on, like Deep French Kissing on the mouth. Again, find out what each individual lady likes.

Oral Hygeine

No-one like kissing anyone with halitosis. But with cunnilingus, the risk of infection is higher. So gum disease, bleeding gums or cold sores on the lips means cunnilingus is off the menu, just like if she has her period. But kissing of her erogenous zones, ears, neck breasts, inner thighs or mons can be a real turn-on.

Long Nails are Not In

If you plan on searching for her "G" spot, your finger nails had better be clipped and filed.

Your "Visiting Kit"

When visiting my ladies, I have my own "visiting kit" - razor, tooth brush, mouth wash, deodorant, nail clippers, massage oil and condoms.  Be a good scout and Be Prepared, and you will be hearing "Don't stop!", instead of "DON'T!".

Foot Note

Colloquially, cunnilingus is also known as DATY (Dining At The 'Y'), and apparently also as "The Australian Kiss", mind you I've never heard this expression in Australia myself - perhaps it was a "foreigner's" description of an Ozzie's ministrations.

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Wednesday, 14 June 2017

To All the Girls I've Loved Before - Thank You

I see from my diary, that its been 10 years since my sexual liberation, so in the words of Hal David, sung variously by Willy Nelson, Julio and Englebert, I want to say 'Thank You' to "All the girls I've loved before".
 

I won't repeat my history that lead to that liberation - it was covered in 'Was the last-time, the LAST Time?'.  Sadly I confess that in that 35 years I had never had or received oral sex, nor had my lady ever orgasmed. 

It was in that time of depression that I 'saw the light', that I had to take responsibility for my own happiness, emotional and physical needs. Not wishing to leave the marriage, I turned to professional help - commercial sex.

I am fortunate to live in a state and country where commercial sex is legal and regulated. So in the past 10 years I have learnt and experienced many aspects of this 'service' industry.
 
There have been 1 or 2 'star-fishes' who obviously didn't want to be there, that provide a receptacle rather than a service. 
 
There have been those that seemed quite inexperienced and nervous. There have been some that really tried to provide a good service, but there has been no 'connection'.  Can there really be a 'connection' between a sex worker and client?

I will digress slightly at this point to thank a Punter Review web forum.  This particular site encourages ladies to join in general conversations and is well moderated.  It was here that I learnt how best to choose a lady from the introductions, that might best suit my needs.  Reviews from other punters also provided recommendations and service descriptions.  So I quickly found myself enjoying the company of a number of special ladies, that I dedicate this post to.

I quickly developed skills in cunnilingus with guidance from some of my ladies. For the first time I experienced ladies that really wanted/needed sex themselves - yes, there are ladies in the sex industry that are not there just for the money, but because of their own high sex-drive needs. For the first time I experienced ladies' orgasms in all their wonderful varieties - O-O-O-OMG. Then to top this off, I found my first squirter. To all these wonderful ladies, "Thank You"!

So despite the danger of overlooking someone, here is my "Honor Roll" in roughly chronological order:-

  • First off, thanks to Kelly who popped my punting cherry. Tho in hindsight, not great sex, she was a very gentle, kind lady that guided me for an enjoyable first time commercially. I almost felt like a virgin being introduced to sex for the first time. I needed it.
  • Daniella was a dark horse, passed over at our first introduction, but next time I discovered a highly sexed, passionate women whose company I enjoyed over eight years. It was she who taught me the joys of DATY and nick-named me 'Thomas the Tongue Engine'. I have written about our times together three times on this blog - 'Maid in Morocco', 'That Smile' and 'A Bad Habit'.
  • Megan introduced me to CIMS, snow-balling and the taste of cum. But more importantly, Megan took me out of the time-constrained commercial environment, to Booty-Buddy visits at home, of 'Breakfast with Benefits', and coping with a Buddy relationship coming to an end.
  • Sandy was a hot New Zealand blonde, with whom I discovered the difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms.
  • April was probably the first 'screamer' I encountered, and my head in a scissor lock whilst she convulsed, won't be forgotten. And I sustained the first and only 'punch' in the nose in my whole life (from a convulsing pubic bone). If the end-of-the world was at hand, I couldn't think of a nicer lady to go out with a bang with.
  • Cristal HotBabe ('The Wicked Wench of Wupert Street') was a once off PSE that you've got to try once in a life-time. It was wild, almost gymnastic with some positions I've never seen or heard of before or since.
  • Kaz is an all round lovely lady - great body, good conversationalist, great kisser and great sex. I discovered that ladies that have mastered kegal muscle control can add an amazing dimension to sex - I quipped that she does 'DFF'. Also 'Munching on Special-K'.
  • Grace introduced me to humour and laughter during sex. Wow, cumming and laughing at the same time is an experience. Yes, sex should be fun.
  • Amber is one of those sex machines with a voracious appetite, and a very nice lady to boot.
  • Ruby is an incredibly passionate lady, a great kisser and very orgasmic. I swear her prominent nipples are wired to her clit. A keen lover of cunnilingus, I was rewarded by her squirting, again and again and again. Awesome.
To these ladies and all my other companions, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!

Saturday, 18 July 2015

Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry

I had the most unusual thing happen recently - two weeks running, I had my ladies crying! 

I had made plans to spend a private afternoon with fav. lady #1, but circumstances conspired against us. So on my next parlour visit to see her, I gave her a present of some perfume, and she burst into tears, hugging, kissing and thanking me. She finally composed herself to tell me that it is the first time in all her years in the industry that she has received a gift like this. Other girls in this parlour have received chocolates, fruit (WTF? Must have been Con the fruiterer from nearby Queen Vic. Market), sex toys or lingerie - "sex toys and lingerie"? Hey guys, how chauvinist - haven't you learnt anything about women?

[Ed. 2021 Oops! I've just given a current favourite an amazing 3 motor sex toy and hand printed knickers (designed and printed by moi), but I know she is a sex toy aficionado, so I guess it is OK if you know the lady will appreciate the gift.]

Then the next week, visiting fav. lady #2, late afternoon, last client of the day, and we had both had rather ordinary days, so booked an hour and said, "Lets finish this day with a bang!" - little did I realize! Now this lady is a DATY enthusiast - our average "cum score" is 4:1. I've "assumed the position" and she has come a couple of times. She has plateaued and has her legs around me, pulling me into her - god she has the most kissable 'outy'. Some digital application to her G spot finally, after long, most delightful dining, brings an enormous, shuddering orgasm. She collapses back, completely "petit mort", sobbing. I come up and wrap her in my arms, and she says "I can't remember when I last had one of those!".

I now know the difference between clitoral and deep, G-spot, vaginal orgasms.

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

O-O-O-OMG! The Female Orgasm

The Female Orgasm

OMG, what am I letting myself in for, writing this post. Does she? Doesn't she? Can she? Wanting or not wanting to? Clitoral vs vaginal? Single or multiple? I was initially worried as a male, writing about female orgasms, but on reflection men have probably observed a greater variety of female orgasms than most women. I don't claim that this will be a scientific analysis, or a definitive thesis, and no attempt at statistics has been made. Rather it is just one man's observations. Further, my observations are almost entirely from 'paid-for-sex' encounters which has its own issues which I will touch on later. 

The Good, The Fantastic and The Ecstatic

What an amazingly beautiful thing, the female orgasm is. Unlike we simple, mere males, the female orgasm is as varied, complex and mysterious as women's psyche and physiology.

One of the things I learnt from my ladies early on, is that strength of orgasm is related to whether she can come only once or multiple times. A big strong orgasm is usually a singleton, leaving her exhausted - eg. "That Smile". The French have a delightful phrase, "petit mort", the "little death" to describe that post-orgasmic exhaustion. Some ladies have even said that they can never orgasm more than once a day. But a less strong orgasm is no guarantee of multiples. But then again, singletons are not necessarily 'strong' - some one-a-day ladies only have gentle, quiet orgasms - every woman is wired differently and responds differently. When it comes to multiples, my golden-girl buddy, AX holds my record of 9 in a single session - ride'm cow-girl.

[Ed.17/6] Then there is the "cluster", a series of strong orgasms with a sub-second pause between. I was reminded of these by a recent rollicking great time with Miss A. With the first convulsion, she had my head in a scissor lock while her body bucked around (I thought I would need a chiropractor) - she was very apologetic once she came down - OMG.

Then there is the perennial question of "Clitoral vs Vaginal". On the surface, this describes the style of stimulation that a lady needs to orgasm. Some/many say they can only orgasm by clitoral stimulation. Vaginal stimulation is more difficult for a lady to control and direct toward achieving orgasm if her guy is just thrusting away - vaginal stimulation to orgasm needs to be focused on the G spot and the entrance of the vagina. With her on top and if he holds off from thrusting, she has a better chance of controlling the stimulation she needs. From my observations, there is also a Vaginal Orgasm that is rare and qualitatively different. Different muscles are involved and is probably related to a lady's ability to control her pelvic floor (kegel) muscles. This orgasm starts deep down, rumbling like an earthquake, building up to an explosion. In my first encounter of this, my lady had had several clitoral orgasms, but after the vaginal orgasm exploded, she exclaimed, "God I needed that. I haven't had one of those for months".

Speaking of 'earthquakes', there are sometimes 'after shocks', different from multiple orgasms from continued stimulation. These are smaller post orgasm 'twitches' that occur unexpectedly, that sometimes bring on the giggles. In "I'll Have What She's Having", I wrote of not just a 'Happy Ending', but a 'Hilarious Ending'.

Which brings me to the relationship between humour, orgasms and "The Screamer". I believe that women who have a good sense of humour and an ability to have a good laugh, have better orgasms. Both require the ability to be able to "let go" of those psychological constraints we place on ourselves. This also is related to how vocal we become during orgasm - I'm afraid yours truly is a 'quiet achiever' though my ladies have often said they enjoy my sense of humour.

Orgasmic squirting is another less common response, that I only first experienced after many years - see "Christmas Drinks at the Y". There seems to be no scientific consensus as to what it is. My observations are that it does come from the urethra and is thus not vaginal lubrication, and it doesn't taste like urine.

[Edit 21-Jun-2018]If squirting occurs during intercourse, then the convulsive force of the orgasm pushes the penis out.

Finally, there is the ultimate orgasm, the coming together, insemination orgasm. At peak arousal, the vagina is sensitive to each ridge and movement of intercourse. As the penis stiffens and twitches signalling impending ejaculation, her orgasm immediately clamps around the base of his penis, then starts to convulse in inward moving waves, pulling the penis deeper in, sucking the very last drop of cum out of him. As the ejaculation and waves of orgasm subside, her vagina continues to squeeze the cock tight, holding it in. In the wild, this ensues retention of the sperm and heightens the chance of insemination. (In animals, this is known as the 'tie'). Then as post-coital exhaustion envelopes, the captive is released.[/Edit]

Non-Orgasms

To round out this discussion, we should touch on "non-orgasms".

An-orgasmic

Its a sad fact that a significant percentage of women have never had an orgasm. Its not exactly a condition one can 'observe' and write about, but I have been married to such a lady for 40 years. There seems to be three conditions - those that don't know how, those that can't, either physically or emotionally and it could be argued that this later group don't want to have orgasms - the 'loss of bodily control' is just too traumatic. At this point, spare a thought for the millions of girls and women for whom the centre of female pleasure has been cruelly cut out.

Non-sexual Orgasms

Yes Dorothy, such a thing is possible. And I have seen it in person.  Some 20 years ago, Lady Thomas was undergoing a major change in her medications and an ignorant doctor took her off some important meds (Benzodiazapine tranquilizers) 'cold turkey'. The withdrawal symptoms were dreadful, hallucinations, phobias, palpitations and muscle spasms. One day we were sitting chatting about nothing when she started have spasms obviously coming from her pelvic area. It was quite frightening and un-nerving. It put the 'nail in the coffin' of her ever wanting sexual orgasms, ever.

Faking It

Almost as sad as the women who are an-orgasmic, are those that feel they have to fake orgasms. Perhaps they are an-orgasmic and don't want their partner to know, but feel an obligation to please their partner.

In the paid-for-sex world, faking is relatively common, when the woman feels that orgasm is too personal and reserves that for their life partner. Sometimes it is put on when the client expects it even if she doesn't have any left in her that day. They aren't known as the "mattress actresses" for nothing.

Giving and Taking

When it comes to men "giving" women orgasms, I am reminded of the joke, "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb" - A. "One, But the light bulb has to want to be changed!". It saddens me that so many men are only interested in their own orgasm, and so many women's orgasms are solitary affairs.

The great mystery of human sexuality, is that at its best, it is both totally selfish and totally unselfish, at the same time. It is both a journey and one or more climaxes (destinations?). But the reality of ageing, is that more and more, I have to be satisfied with enjoying the journey, irrespective of reaching any climax. I have as yet to hear the thoughts from any of my ladies on ageing for them - perhaps they just hide it and fake it.

Thank You

To all the delightful ladies that have shared time with me over the years, "Thank you" just doesn't seem enough. Perhaps I should say "O-O-O-O-OMG!!! THANK YOU!".

PS. Please don't be shy with the Comments. Share your experiences and thoughts, whether male or female.

oralsex69

Monday, 20 May 2013

Cunnilingus - Responses

To wrap up my trilogy on Cunnilingus, starting with "Cunnilingus 101" then "Cunnilingus Don'ts", I thought it was time to write a follow-up post about the female responses to cunnilingus.  Again, like the original post, this is purely one man's observations, so additional feedback, especially from lady readers, would be very much appreciated.

Of the dozens and dozens of ladies I have had the pleasure and delight of "dining on", every one responded differently.  I will try to roughly group them by similarity of response.

The Unexpected

With many professional Ladies of Pleasure, orgasm can be a wearying drain on a day full of clients.  Thus many refuse cunnilingus outright.  I remember one lovely young thing agreeing, but saying that she probably wouldn't be able to cum - I was delighted to have her bucking in under 5 minutes.  Another neophyte didn't even expect that she could or was "allowed" to cum in a commercial arrangement - she squealed with surprise and delight when she did.

One A Day

Not all ladies are able to be multi-orgasmic.  One special buddy of mine, could only ever have one orgasm per day.  So we timed our meetings so that that one was a mighty good one.

Vocality

Vocal response during orgasm varies from a small grunt and sigh, through "Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh God, Yes!", to the "screamer"s - one lady I saw was nicknamed "Firecracker" - she went off so loudly that everybody in the place knew it.  Some others wanted to, but bit on their wrist to hold it back.  But beware, her verbal response is easily exaggerated.

Encouragement

When a lady is really starting to appreciate your ministrations you will receive encouraging signs.  She will be pushing back into you.  I have had ladies who I could swear their vulva was kissing me back.  Then there are those that give directions - take notice - she knows what she likes so let her guide you.  Then there are ladies that grab my head and pull my face hard against their cunt, twisting and squirming their pelvis against my face  - just be careful she doesn't suffocate you.

The Linctus of Love

Probably the first obvious response is lubricating.  Like all the responses listed her, the degree will vary enormously from lady to lady and time to time.  But from my experience at least, gushing or squirting is highly unlikely from cunnilingus alone.  I would certainly like to hear if your experience differs.

The Lichter Scale

I have had enough ladies 'in my face' to know that the intensity of the female orgasm is very much an individual thing and that 'stronger' does not automatically imply 'better', so I won't put any numbers on the Lichter scale.  I have ladies who's orgasms are a ripple through their body.  And I've had ladies who's orgasms seize their body totally stiff - pity me if I have their legs around my neck.  There are orgasms that are a single contraction with perhaps a single after-spasm. On the other hand, I have had ladies who contracted repeatedly, perhaps up to a dozen times.

Controlled Release

Occasionally I meet a lady who knows her own body very well, an obvious player of her fine instrument.  Although technically on the receiving end, she controls and paces her response, not allowing herself to tip over the edge of full orgasm.  She prefers to rumble along a plateau of pre-orgasm, then only let herself go when she is good and ready for maximum effect.

Clitoral vs Vaginal Orgasm

This is one of those topics that is more meaningful to ladies than to we mere males.  It took me 2 years of 'research' before I encountered a practical demonstration.  This particular lady was quite multi-orgasmic.  After her third or fourth (clitoral) orgasm, I added some digital stimulation of her G-spot to my cunnilingus.  Suddenly there was a deep-down, almost rumbling sort of contractions that built up and up to a full body orgasm.    Her response was "Oh God, I needed that.  I haven't had one of those for months".

The Blossoming

One of the most beautiful sights for a cunnilinguist, is the blossoming of your ladies vulva.  Again, the degree of response is highly individual and highly dependant on the lady's personal anatomy (go and read "Pussy Pride" if you are not fully aware of the wide diversity of vaginal anatomy).  Like an erectile response, her inner labia engorge with blood, swelling until they spread the outer labia and 'pop' out like a flower bud opening.  By this time, her vagina is gaping open, calling to you, "Come and fuck me".  (The particular lady I visualise with fond memories, was coincidentally a "one-a-day" lady).

Read up on Sexual Arousal at “https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Sexual_arousal”.

Bon Appetit

Well that's enough for now. Your feedback and sharing your own experiences would be greatly appreciated.

All that's left to say, is "Bon appetit!".

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