Pocket Pussy DIY Surgery

Unfortunately, sex toys for men don't get much press, after all, a man would have to be really desperate to use one of them, wouldn't he? If a man can't get a women and has to resort to a silicone toy or doll - well, it's just not 'manly'!

Now, I've never done a toy review before (and probably won't again). This is not a solicited nor paid review. I'm not reviewing, nor recommending a specific brand, its more a review of the generic type of toy and the 'surgery' required to make it truly usable. I've included pictures of the box of the specific device I used.

With the Covid-19 pandemic lock-down and my specific health situation, desperate times call for desperate measures. In a previous post about recovering from radiotherapy for prostate cancer, I described my use of a penis pump vacuum device (though not a real review as such), which elicited some positive comments. So I was moved to try and now review a silicone vagina device. 

'Pocket pussies' come in a wide range of styles, sizes and prices ('Pocket Pussy' is a colloquial generic name for these types of toys and not a specific toy's name). Some claim to have molded their toy's labia from real life porn stars - a good marketing ploy to ask a higher price, I'm sure. But see my comments below about the comparison of the toy's labia to real women I have licked, sucked and fucked. Probably the best known brand is the Fleshlight range. My review is based on a cheap, generic variety, "Fresh Innocence - Jodie".

First we will look at the claims printed on the box.

• Tight smooth opening, simulates virgin's vagina to give you that fresh and tight sensation every time. Yes, but too tight/small - see comments.
  
• Easy grip. Yes.
  
• Noduled love tunnel has strategically placed nodules for arousal, intensity and pleasure. Yes, but dependent on lube.
• Smooth texture to give you the most realistic and orgasmic sensation. Yes.
  
• Hygienic and easy to clean. Yes.
• Length - 5", 5.5" and 6" available.
• Fabrication material - TPR (Thermo Plastic Rubber -  PVC- and BPA-free)

Initial Trial

The immediate impression is how small the labia and vulva opening are. The opening is about the size of a pencil (OK for 'pencil dicks' I suppose). With copious lube and the flexible stretching of the material, penetration was finally achieved after much manipulation (and my member is only average in length and girth). But if this was a girl IRL, I could be arrested for statutory rape.

It is obvious that these types of toys are NOT suitable for arousal or achieving an erection initially. A good hard erection is essential before attempting penetration.

I found that the amount of lube required to achieve penetration negated the feeling of the internal nodules. IRL, I would class this 1st trial as a 'star fish' experience.

'Surgery' and 2nd Trial

Now I'm not the sort of person to give up easily - I'm a 'Fix It' sort of man. So I got out my sharp pointed craft knife to perform 'surgery' on my toy's vagina opening. Note that TPR cannot be 'sliced', I had to insert the point and pull out to achieve a tear. See before and after photos.

For my 2nd trial, I decided to use saliva as my lube. The Tongue Engine found the experience not unpleasant. Penetration now came more naturally, but by now my erection was loosing hardness, so I never reached the inner sanctum in this trial.

3rd Trial

So I resorted to the good ole regulars of porn, self talk, imagination and hand masturbation. I continued until orgasm was nearing, and then returned to my 'pocket pussy'. Now the noduled love tunnel really lived up to the claim of arousal, intensity and pleasure, bringing me to a quite intense orgasm. Now for someone like me suffering ED that often doesn't climax at all, and if and when, then just a small squirt with little intensity, my PP orgasm was very nice.

General Comments

This particular toy has a bar-bell type shape, so the narrow middle allows a full wrap around hand grip. The outer end has another pencil size hole to prevent any vacuum effect and to facilitate cleaning. In use, whilst thrusting its not unlike hitting the cervix at the end of the vagina.

The material is sufficiently stretchy and strong to allow it to be stretched over a tap head to flush water through it for cleaning. A couple of fingers inserted also facilitate washing around the nodules inside. I found I could work a handkerchief through the device with my fingers to help drying the inside.

Conclusion

Remember that these comments relate to a specific make/model, though I suspect the issues I've raised should be considered whatever brand you buy. 

Further, I am reviewing from the perspective of senior citizen with post prostate cancer ED. But a shy teenager just starting to explore the possibilities of penetrative sex, would find such a toy useful 'training wheels'.

Would I recommend the use of a 'Pocket Pussy'? Considering all the issues described above, it would be a qualified 'yes'. For $30 for an 'entry level' device (excuse the pun), its worth a try, but 'surgery' may be required. But would I pay $100 for a top-of-the line toy or $3000 for doll, no way. When Covid restrictions have eased enough, then my $300/hr Ladies Of Pleasure leave these toys at the bottom of the toy box.

D.E. - Dysfunctional Erections (#AtoZChallenge)

Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is one of those conditions that will effect all men as they age, but sexual performance is so deeply ingrained in the male psyche, that ED is often hidden, denied or just not spoken about.

LADIES: Please don't shut off here thinking this is a male topic. This affects couples, and men suffering this need the support, love and encouragement of their partners to work through it. You will probably have to learn together to modify your intimate relationships to allow for these changes.

I see I have covered this subject 10 times over the last 10 years, so I'll try not to cover too much old ground. Follow links for further reading.

I was in my late 50's when it first hit me, losing my erection mid-coitus. A quick visit to my doctor, and a Viagra prescription got me up and going again, but there are side effects. Over time, I started to realise there are multiple facets to this condition. First there is the lack of or loss of erection itself, then there is the decreased sensation/feeling, this in turn leads to inability to orgasm or ejaculate. 

But in this last year, post prostate cancer radiotherapy treatment, I hit rock bottom. Everything was gone, and I wrote "Paradise Lost, Vale Sir Lust".

In researching my ED, I discovered that erection comes in two stages, the initial achievement of erection and secondly maintaining an erection. These stages are driven by different bio-chemical processes, which is why in early cases, erection can be attained but not maintained. Further I found that orgasm and ejaculation are not necessarily correlated. Did you know there is a medical journal, the "International Journal of Impotence Research", dedicated to understanding the underlying processes, the pathologies that leads to dysfunction and the search for medications and methods to counteract such dysfunction?

As I started to read learned research articles (not easy since my doctorate is in computer science and data analysis, not biochemical processes, but my university organic chemistry studies 50 years ago have helped), I started to get a new perspective of the problem and some promising hints into how I might regain some function.

Let me try and describe the erection process in lay terms, stripped of too much biochemical detail. Medical thinking about the causes/processes of ED flipped back and forth over 20 years or more. The thinking was that there were psychological and physiological causes separately. In younger men, psychological causes were considered principle and treatment was around relationships. In older men, physiological causes were prominent, namely ageing of blood vessels causing thickening and decreased flexibility of blood vessels. 

From around 2005, understanding of the biochemical processes improved and the inter-relationship of psychological and physiological aspects were better understood. Working backward, the actual erection is caused by inflow of blood into the two 'corpus cavernosum'. This process is triggered by Nitric Oxide (NO), a signalling chemical sent from the nerve endings enwrapping the cavernosum. (NO is synthesized from L-arginine by NO synthase (NOS)). The NO causes the blood vessel walls to relax encouraging blood inflow.  PDe5 inhibitor drugs like Sildenafil (Viagra) work by increasing bio-availability of NO. It is the signalling from the brain, initiated by a range of all sorts of erotic stimuli, touch, sight, smell, sound, that trigger this process. Conversely, inhibitory brain processes like depression, can disable this triggering process.

The cavernosum run down either side of the penis. The corpus spongiosum runs down the under-side of the penis and is responsible for holding the urethra open and restricting the outflow veins so blood is retained, holding the erection. A different Nitric Oxide process (eNO) is involved in retaining an erection. This is also a signalling chemical from nerve endings, but these are triggered by physiological conditions of the erection, specifically 'hematologial shear', which is a function of the actual blood flow affected by the flexibility and smoothness of the blood vessel walls and the viscosity of the blood. So a good psychologically aroused state can initiate a good erection, but aging or damaged blood vessels can limit retention.

Nerves are involved in both stages and sensory nerves provide feeling/touch sensations back to the brain, so nerve damage (surgical or radiotherapy) or peripheral neuropathy (eg. from diabetes), can also affect various aspects of ED.

Finally, there is the issue of treatment. It is best to take a holistic view, psychologically as well as physiologically. Physiological conditions can be permanent or temporary (eg.alcohol) and the best you can hope for is to moderate underlying conditions eg. diabetes, arteriosclerosis, hypertension etc. As has been mentioned, PDe5 inhibitors have proved generally beneficial in the absence of any other underlying pathology. To improve 'hematologial shear', keep well hydrated. Low testosterone has been linked to lower libido (psychological), but there is no evidence that testosterone supplements improve ED. Similarly, L-arginine supplements are promoted in men's 'health supplements', but a placebo-controlled, crossover comparison found no difference in ED improvement between oral L-arginine and placebo.

In the specific case of ED due to radiotherapy, some general healing of damaged tissue, both cavernosum and nerves, has been achieved with daily low doses of PDe5 inhibitors. Extra high doses of PDe5 inhibitors can also improve erection response and retention, if side effects can be tolerated. EG. Viagra is normally only recommended up to 100mg, but controlled experiments with 150mg and 200mg doses have had some success. The author seems to be having success with 150mg and plans to go for another 'test drive' once his Lady Of Pleasure is out of COVID19 self isolation. The other factor in ED 'recovery' noted in some studies, is frequency of use, even if it is DIY ('Use It Or Lose It' will be addressed in a coming post). 

 
Click to see who else is taking the challenge. 

ED Recovery? The Test Drive

 #F4TFriday

The time has come.

I've been trying a non-invasive method to treat my Erectile Dysfunction (2 year post prostate cancer radiotherapy treatment) for 3 months. As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, there has been a modicum of success with Viagra and cock-ring producing erections that just might be sufficient for coitus. So its time to try it out.

My lustless wife has had no desire for any form of intimacy for decades, so this is not for her. As for me, the days of aching urgent needs, dwindled over the years from daily, to weekly to monthly and the intensity subsided. But now there is no feeling of 'need' any more, just memories of 'that would be nice to have again'. As I face the possibility of widowhood in the next few years, it would be nice to know that I might have something to offer any future partner. Regrets? Sure, I've had a few!

But for now, all I have are some LOP 'buddies', that are understanding, willing and warm and intimate. My carer duties have become almost full time, so the best I can manage is to extend a shopping trip by an hour.

I finally manage to arrange a time. Miss C welcomes me warmly, despite it being 12 months since our last encounter. She reassures me that my situation is not uncommon. Being a middle aged SW, she has quite a number of older clients with post-prostate treatment conditions, including implanted pumps, rods, cock-rings and caverject injections.

As we snuggle up for a kiss and cuddle, a relaxing warmth enfolds me. How nice is that primal need for the intimate touch of another human body. C wriggles in closer, worming her cleft over my modest erection. She assures me that it is stiff enough and its hotness is as good as ever. I don't feel anything especially arousing, just part of the overall warmth of intimacy. I do however feel C's wetness and her own increasing need as she works her clit over me.

Its time I satisfied her needs. I slide down her body and let the old tongue-engine loose on her lady bits. Well at least my tongue is still in excellent working order and all the old sensations are still good.

After she had come down from her orgasm, she asks if I am ready to enter her. She tells me she needs to feel filled. I warn her that condoms decrease sensitivity even more and I'm not sure I can even penetrate. She suggests we try a super-thin non-latex condom and give it a go.

As I slide in, there is relief that my erection has passed the test. Even though there is no feeling of arousal, it is warm and nice to feel the ultimate of human intimacy. But orgasm for me just isn't on the radar.

Sadly our time all too soon comes to an end. As we chat, shower and dress, I tell C that I came expecting that this might be my last time. But I thank her that she has reassured me that there is some sort of future for limited intimacy.

Thank God for these wonderful Ladies Of Pleasure that give men like me, some warmth and intimacy in the autumn of our life.

PS. My visit to Miss C used my last Viagra script, and its still a month or so to the Dr's appointment. So its been a couple of weeks with no daily Viagra. Sadly, even with cock-ring, there is no hint of erection and zero sensation. So whilst my 'treatment' has enabled an erection sufficient for coitus as needed, there appears to have been no  'healing' for long-term improvement. However, I shall continue my 'treatment' for another 6 months and see.

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ED Recovery

#MasturbationMonday 

(plus Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday
- Sunday is my day of rest)

 

Well its 3 months since I started my ED Rehab. and I thought it was time to report in.

Just reiterating the background, following radiotherapy for prostate cancer, my libido dropped to zero, erections, sensation, orgasms and ejaculation also zero, in spite of using Viagra. Before pursuing the Urologist's options of implants, I did some research and decide to try DIY non-invasive rehab.

The plan involves daily half dose (50mg) of Viagra, cock ring (to impede blood outflow from any erection), pornographic stimulation, masturbation once or twice a day, aiming for ejaculation as often as possible. All of this is backed up with 'male enhancement' supplements. The aim is with increased blood flow and nutrients to stimulate healing of the prostate, penile, vascular and nerve tissues.

Well after 3 months, I can report a modicum of success. Prostate tissue is functioning again at about half previous volume of ejaculate. Erections are improving, though not 'hard' yet. With 100mg Viagra, erections are just full enough that penetration might be possible. But the main issue is still the lack of sensitivity, especially with a condom. But masturbation to ejaculation causes loss of any erection (duh)!

On rereading one of the ED Rehab. reference articles, I noticed a mention of vacuum devices. Now I've been having sex for 50 years, but have never tried a penis pump before. Time to try this option too. At a cost about the same as a month's supply of Viagra, it seemed like an economic option. I wasn't sure how it would work with a little limp member to start with. But wow, as I start to pump, my cock is sucked in, centimeter by centimeter, as good as some of my buddies. As I continue to pump, my cock expands and stretches almost the full length of the tube. OMG, its as hard and aching like the first time I tried Viagra 10 years ago. 

At maximum suction my cock is stinging - now I understand the warning on the package that persons with certain conditions should not use the pump at danger of injury to the penis. When I release the vacuum and pull my cock out, it drops limp - well it might give an erection in a 'bottle' but doesn't provide a continuing usable erection for ED sufferers. I try again with a cock ring, but even that doesn't help retain an erection. Oh well. At least it gives some nice sensations. If I leave it on for 10 minutes at medium suction, it should at least provide some needed increase in blood flow for the healing process.

It is nice though to wake in the morning with some sense of warmth and fullness, but not 'morning wood' yet, but enough to encourage me to undertake another round of 'therapy'.

I think I've reached the point where it is time to take a test drive, to suck it and see, you might say. Its time to look up one of my understanding, accommodating Ladies Of Pleasure.

Stay tuned for the next report... 

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Paradise Lost - Vale Sir Lust

Occasionally we read about those early teen years of discovery, perhaps of illicit liaisons. But we seldom read of the other end of life. Sure we hear of changes during menopause, and of course there is the perpetual whinging of married men saying their wives have lost their libido. Erectile Dis-function gets an occasional mention, but Viagra and Cialis take care of that.

Loss of male libido can have psychological or medicinal causes. But outright physical loss of sexual desire (lust) and function, just silently slides under the covers. 

My ED started at around 60 and I posted "Sex and Aging". But Viagra ushered in a new era for me, but orgasm/ejaculation was less, partly due to the Viagra effects. By age 65, I blogged "As Lust Fades". At 69, prostate cancer was detected -  I opted for radiotherapy, since prostatectomy was more likely to cause impotency. The treatment was a breeze and I celebrated every week of "The 39 Days".

In the 2 years since the radiotherapy, the cancer appears to have gone. But sexual function and libido have just about died. At first, it wasn't just inability to orgasm from sex, but sensitivity and feeling was declining. Add in condoms for transactional sex, the old adage of it being like taking a shower in a rain-coat, was all too true. With the prostate having been zapped, its functionality has declined so the volume of ejaculate is not much more than a dribble. Further, I have found the ED has worsened to the point where even a maximum dose of Viagra doesn't produce a workable erection. Neither porn nor masturbation can produce an erection.

The Urologist suggested that a mechanical implant could help (rod or inflatable balloon), but with no willing partner, no feeling sensations, and no orgasms, there is no point. Alas, Paradise has been lost.

Fortunately, the tongue is still in good working order. But I can't bring myself to pay $300/hr for a kiss and cuddle.

Vale, Sir Lust

Alas Sir Lust, I knew him well, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He has borne me on his bed a thousand times, and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My ire rises at it. Here hang those balls that have been kissed I know not how oft. Where be thy thrusts now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the whores on a roar? No one now to mock your limp dangling?

(PS. So what happens to this blog now with the loss of inspiration? Well I still have lots of memories to draw on so I will probably defer to fictional erotic writing.)

(Click to see who else is posting Food For Though about Libido)

The Five Senses Of Sex

A few years ago, I had the great pleasure of a number of home visits with a delightful Booty Buddy, TM (a previous Lady Of Pleasure). Now TM had an uncommon taste for ejaculate. Further she was especially turned on by the multi-sensual process.  

For the sake of this post, it might be best if I write in the first person from her perspective, based on how she described it to me.

(TM) "Tom had taken a half day off work for a morning visit. I had a nice lie-in in bed awaiting his knock on the door. When he arrived, he had warm, fresh-baked croissants and fresh squeezed orange juice - yum. We quickly slipped back into my still-warm bed to share breakfast, but that was short-lived as we couldn't keep our hands and mouths off each other.

Now I was pretty horny waiting for him, but I was wet and needy now in no time. I love fucking mature experienced gents like Tom - he really knows how to please a women, his touches, his kisses, his mouth, his tongue. For now, he makes it all about me. I lost count of how many times he had me orgasming, but Tom still hadn't come himself (its an age thing he tells me). It must have been almost an hour before we rolled apart, breathless, hot and perspiring.

We must have cuddled together for all of 5 minutes as we cooled a little and caught our breaths. But like Oliver, I wanted MORE, but not just for me this time, but something special for US, together.

I rolled Tom onto his back, and slid down his body, trailing my fingers down his arms and kisses down his chest. As I reached his cock, I flicked the tip of his glans with my tongue, then engulfed his shaft in my mouth. His still semi-erect cock stirred back to life.

But I wasn't after just a common old blow-job - I have something very special in mind. Now we have discussed this once before and Tom had indicated that a DIY hand-job gave him better control and outcome. I signal to him to take hold. I slide down further so I can lick his scrotum and suck his balls. I look up the length of his body and ours eyes meet. His eyes are smiling, his lips are moist and he licks them lightly. The look of his tongue and lips bring back memories of where they were just half an hour ago. I can feel my cunt getting slick and hot with the memory. My gaze caresses his whole body, his shoulders, chest, those abs, the bulging arm muscles as he pumps his cock. I stretch my arms up to surround his hips and my fingers stroke his stomach and I can feel him lifting to meet his down strokes. My head is against his leg and I can hear his pulse starting to race in his arteries. His breath is fast now - the sound of his gasps has my own breaths and heart beating in sync. My nostrils are on fire now as they take in the sent of our earlier sex. I can smell and taste my own cunni-linctus on his thighs and scrotum.

Tom's hand is really pumping now. I can see his engorged purple glans above his fist. His shaft is thick and red and hard now. He lets out a little grunt and his torso lifts and starts to shake a little. He has stopped pumping now and just holding his glans. The thick purple veins are bulging around his dick the urethra along the underside is bulging now, filling up with his lovely cum. I can see it starting to twitch, then Tom lets go and says "Its your's now"!

I pounce, and clamp my mouth around his glans, clamping my lips tightly so that he has no escape.  I can feel his cum building up in his locked shaft, swelling even more. Tom's body arches and stiffens and a little 'Urgh' slips out in agony, before the ecstasy as I release my grip. Tom erupts like a massive hot geyser blasting his love-juice against the back of my throat. I gulp down the first mouthful. He keeps coming for what seems like ages, but probably only 5-10 seconds. My mouth is full again and his cum is running out the corners down his shaft. As his orgasm subsides, I swirl his load around in my mouth, savouring the taste and texture - not unlike molluscs sauteed in salted butter and cream - just my favourite, although an acquired taste. As I swallow my second mouthful, I lick up and down and round and round his cock, licking up every last drop.

As his deflating cock subsides, I come up his body and we embrace and share a fantastic, salty, Deep French Kiss.

Tom tells me it is the most intense orgasm he has ever had.

Now that's the way to Break Fast!"

How Long is Enough?

No, I don't mean linear measure – my ladies and I are quite satisfied with my very average 15cm - rather, I mean elapsed time. Besides, 2cm of tongue seems to elicit more pleasure.

 

My question arises from age related changes. In 'normal' sexual relations, the length of time involved is essentially always determined by the male's time to ejaculation. In my earliest experience, with premature ejaculation issues, 2 minutes was about my mean. I have read research that suggests the average length of copulation is 5-7 minutes.

But for we senior citizens (I'm just a year away from my 'soixante neuf' year), with ED (pharmacological assistance required) and prostate issues, ejaculation at all is rare. So without ejaculation, how/when does an encounter end?

 

Now I admit that my personal situation limits my sexual 'relations' to financially constrained time limits. Some ladies seem to impose their own personal limit of around 10 minutes before the “Have you come yet?” question. Most are quite unfamiliar with men that don't cum, and feel professionally inadequate that they have not been able to 'satisfy' their client to 'completion'. And of course they have to 'keep' themselves ready for other clients during the day/night. And as a profession as a whole, they are not there for their own satisfaction – although I am blessed to have a few very special regular ladies that I see that tend toward the 'nympho' end of the market.

 

So between kissing and cuddling, two way oral and a variety of positions, we generally last 45-60 minutes before we have 'had enough', although it's generally my call. Further, I have very sensitive skin, so friction 'burn' is also a factor, irrespective of lubricant, or condom or not. Thank God for tongues.

 

So fair readers, back to my question, “How long is enough?” I would be very interested to hear your comments and of your 'measure'.

"Port and cigar" finale

This post is addressed to those fellow senior connoisseurs that don’t always achieve a “happy ending”.

Being of an age now where BJs never “Blow” (neither covered or bare-back) and 50% of the time the Main Course is not completely fulfilling either, a special Lady-of-Pleasure introduced me to DIYHJ with CIM&S.

On our 2nd ‘outing’ I discovered she had a real taste for cum. However, I have yet to find a lady that really understands what a man needs in a good HJ, so I suggested I DIY in preparation for her.  

Now, not only does she have a “taste” for it, but is quite turned on watching – the straining arm muscles, bulging veins, the reddening, thickening member, her open mouth hovering over-head, her tongue occasionally flicking out to lick off some pre-cum, the tightening of the scrotum. Then just at the crucial moment, I say, “Its all yours!”, and she pounces. Her suction on my exploding knob is awesome, much better than either DIYHJ or BBBJs individually. And she keeps sucking with every spasm, milking me dry, swallowing every last drop.

So if you find a lady that offers CIM&S, then I highly recommend this finish. Once she has had her quota of O’s and the main course has explored all positions, then this is a magnificent “port and cigar” finale - smokin’.

 

I Lust, Therefore I Am

This topic came up in relation to a forum discussion on prostate surgery.  Men are not the best at seeing their doctor for regular health checks, but the very thought of prostate surgery and possible (probable?) decline or loss of sexual function, sends shivers through any red-blooded male.  Not being able to get a 'rise' at the sight of a beautiful sexy woman, to not be able to get an erection ever again, or have no sexual feelings in your penis, to some, is like having the very core of your being cut out.

Mind you I read of ladies having similar feelings of loss of sexual identity after mastectomy.  For women, this is a double whammy of both body image as well as self identity.

I heard of a case of a young man in his late 20's, who developed testicular cancer. Despite treatment, it really messed with his mind and self worth.  He couldn't bring himself to touch his wife and the marriage eventually broke up.  Needless to say it had a profound effect on his wife too, who had a strong sex drive. Her whole persona of wife, lover, mother, in a happy, caring relationship, was down the toilet.  With two young children to raise, no career, no support and unmet 'needs', she talked to a girlfriend, who suggested she try 'sex work' (thank goodness in Australia this option is available, legal and safe).  It was here that I met her.  Apart from some rollicking good times, we also had some very deep conversations.  The work and her clients had opened her eyes to a whole new world, of the possibility of sexual enjoyment without having to commit to the unknown of a long-term relationship.  Having saved up a little nest egg, she has left the industry now, gone back to college to study for a new career, and maybe dip her toe into the dating scene again - but she has thrown off the shackles of thinking that a girl 'needs' a man in her life to feel complete.  I wish her all the best.

Lust in the sense of sexual feelings (as distinct from unrequited desire for someone) is at the core of our humanness. Menopause and age can be like thieves in the night that creep up on you and steal your natural lust away.  These are things we will all have to deal with at some point, both in ourselves and in our partners. But to have 'it' taken in traumatic circumstances can be mentally debilitating. It is so important to not put all your 'identity eggs' in the 'lust basket', but to have other charitable and creative outlets for self-worth.

PS. I have personally just had a prostate biopsy, and thank goodness, the results are all clear. So my declining post rate, in line with declining 'lust' and performance, is just old fashioned aging.  Thank goodness my tongue is still as strong and lusty as ever. There is nothing like a little dose of Cunning Linctus to perk one up.

As Lust Fades

There are plenty of comments around about women losing their libido, usually following menopause (usually from their bewildered partners). But men are very reluctant to admit it of themselves.  This is sometimes called "andropause", although medically, this is an ill-defined term, medically implying a decrease in testosterone levels.

Its not that I'm not interested in sex any-more - far from it.  And I still enjoy sex very much.  Its just that there is no 'urge', no 'stirring in the loins', no 'automatic boners', no 'morning glory'.

Let me back up to the start of my 'problems'.  It must be five or six years ago now when I found my erections wilting mid-session (mind you, that particular lady wasn't exactly very encouraging).  I spoke to my doctor about ED and he prescribed Viagra. Wow! But the after effects are not nice, so I halved the dose, then halved again, still getting a good usable erection with some reduction in side effects.  In time, I switched to Cialis with slightly less side effects and improved erections for several days (see "4 o'clock in the morning").  But last year, the gastric reflux 'heart burn' was getting quite severe - the doctor ordered a gastroscopy and some acid-burn scarring was found in the lower oesophagus. So I've stopped Cialis and I'm now trying herbal 'Viagermax' which in combination with a good cock-ring is serving me well.

BUT.  Whilst medication has helped my ED and I am enjoying 'the journey' better, I have found I am reaching 'the destination' less often (ie. failure to cum).  Neither oral nor Mrs Palmer get me over the line much anymore.  Only a small number of ladies get me there because of their technique, which I wrote about as "DFF Deep French Fucking".

But fading lust is something more.  When I first liberated myself, I set myself a goal/limit of once a month (diarized as FOTM).  Now dear diary, you know how it is, once you are onto a good thing you naturally want more.  So 4-weekly crept back to 3-weekly, and on occasions the urge became an ache that just begged to be salved.  I remember talking with a wonderful regular at the time about which was better, more frequent 'quickies' or longer lingering encounters less often - we decided that there was a need for both. When I found a bordello close to work with particularly enticing ladies, I found myself slipping out for early, long 'lunches' more often - mind you their loyalty scheme of a free visit every 10 kept me regular.  I found that at about 10-12 days, the urge was stirring (I was in my late 50's, not early twenties where 10 hours would be closer to the mark).  So into the third week I was planning my calendar for a slow day for a 'long lunch'.

But now I'm a retired pensioner, with restricted discretionary disposable income, and more difficulty finding "me time" away from home, I only manage to catch up with my buddies once a month.  And I also find the "lust" has gone.  There is no physical 'need' to 'get my rocks off' any more - 'blow and go' is a thing of the past.  My sexual desires are much more volitional, a desire for intimacy, of companionship, etc. (still not available at home).  My issue now is finding suitably accommodating ladies.

On the physical side, my next concern is where is my prostate going - I've had BPH for 15 years and my PSA level has been slowly creeping up to now be at the top of the 'normal range', so I am at the monitor closely (6 monthly) stage before resorting to biopsy.  Is an enlarged prostate the cause of 'not cumming'?

So dear reader, you understand now why my blogging has fallen off - less source material.  But I trust the chronicles of my journey might be of some help to other men, perhaps struggling with some sexual issues and can't/won't discuss them with anyone.  Don't be shy - drop my a line/comment, even anonymously.

With lust unsatisfied or when lust fades,

I'm just not my 'nice' self anymore!

The "Dry Rut/Root". Nonsex?

Do you remember the dim distant past of your callow youth, of those fumbling first sexual encounters? Do you remember carefully avoiding penetration, of rubbing yourself across the girls pubes (we didn't know about clitorises back then), then finally leaving your gift of sticky, creamy linctus on her stomach?  You could then claim that "I did not have sexual relations with that woman!" (technically) and she could claim that "I am still a virgin!" (technically). In Australia, this was colloquially known as a "Dry root".

It was a recent encounter with V1, one of my very favourite Ladies of Pleasure, that brought this back to mind.  When I first met V1 about 2 years ago, she was quite concerned about my "girth" so I told her the story about the fairy that could dance on the head of a pin and I taught her to "dance".

We have moved on significantly since then and our service provider/client roles have virtually disappeared.  Our times together are almost both completely selfish and selfless as we use each other for our mutual pleasures.

V1 is a tall, slim, small busted lady, but what she lacks in volume simply exposes her very prominent, very sensitive nipples.  From the moment of our first kiss, it is like electricity shooting through her body straight to her clitoris.  Nibbling her ear lobes or warm breath on the nape of her neck has her quivering.  As for kissing her nipples, it is almost as if she has two extra clitorises all wired together.  Moving down to dine at The "Y", the merest breath on her clit brings her to the edge of her first orgasm.

Several very wet, loud orgasms later when I come up for breath, she rolls me over and proceeds to straddle me, rubbing her clit hard against me (thus the trigger thought for the title of this post).  She just can't get enough clitoral stimulation.

She writhes, squirms and "dances", stiffens in orgasm, falls onto me in deep, passionate French kissing, then as her shudders subsides, she sits up and recommences her rubbing.  I must say with V1, that it is far from "dry"!

We will take a short break at this point (to get our breath back) and explain that there are two approaches to the "dry root/rut".  The basic method is facing each other with either on top with your member up between yourselves so that she rubs her clit along the back side.  The second approach is probably best with you on top pulling yourself well up over her body so that your member is pushed right back and down across her clit and across the folds of her vulva just avoiding penetration so that her clit rubs across your top side.

(rather wet "dry ruts" - reblogged from gifporntube)

Now back to the main course. Our "relationship" I guess has developed like this since I no longer come easily and my use of Viagra ensures a good hard prolonged erection ("a hard man is good to find!"), so there is no pressure on her to make me come (or not make me come) and she can abandon herself to her own pleasures.

When the buzzer finally goes off, I find we having been going constantly for almost an hour - awesome.  V1 is glowing with that orgasmic sheen of perspiration.  We share a glass of iced water and head off to the shower.  V1 can't help herself and takes advantage of one last embrace and rub before we towel off.

PS. Just a WARNING that non-penetrative "dry rutting" is NOT a reliable method of contraception.

PPS. Under Victorian (Australia) prostitution law, where any form of sexual "penetration" is required to be "protected", I don't think I would be wanting to try and argue that a "dry rut" is "non-penetrative" in a court of law!

Breaking the Fast

OK, so my little 7 week sabbatical hasn’t really been a "fast", since I have managed to slip out once or twice for a little pick-me-up, though somewhat average.  But this week I’m back at work and was able to slip out for a regular lunch-hour catch-up with one of my best regulars.

I first met V three years ago in a double to celebrate my birthday (a big ‘0’), but its only been since early this year that I have been seeing her regularly.  And our times together have just got better and better.  Today hit the "awesome" level.

I arrived just before 12:30 on Monday, just before the lunch time "rush" and I got V straight away - a quick glance at the clock told me I could squeeze in a 45 minute booking (before I had to be back at work).  

I think I must have been her first client of the day and in fact her first since her last shift last Thursday.  To say that she was 'horny' would be no understatement and she matched my needs exactly.  Once she was stripped off, she dropped to her knees in front of the low settee on which I was sitting for a regular oral welcome.  I lifted her face and our tongue entwined in some delicious DFK then I kissed down her neck to her nipples.  Now V is not well endowed in the bust department but does have very prominent, VERY sensitive nipples - in fact I could swear that they are hot wired to her clitoris. In no time flat she is crushing her pelvis against me (remember I am sitting on the edge of the settee and she is kneeling) and has wormed herself onto my manhood, rubbing her clit along my shaft.

After a couple of delightful minutes, I help her up off her knees and back onto the bed where I have full access to give her my special tonguing.  She starts coming almost straight away.  I don’t think I have ever had such an orgasmic lady.  As I kiss my way up her body to those nipples she arches her back yet again and we slide together.  What follows was the most awesome 25 minutes of continuous DFK and grinding, thrusting orgasms.  Thank goodness I was V hard and not liable to come.  

Almost breathless and covered in perspiration, we finally roll apart.  V then goes down on me and swings a leg over to receive some soixant-neuf.  Her oral and handy-work is great but I’m just not reaching the line.  I finally suggest that I take charge - I dry off and with some vigorous DIY, V sucks my knob at the critical moment for an explosive CIM finale.

Soixant Neuf miniature: Sex Museum, 
Shanghai, China (Flickr)

We have five minutes left on the clock and chat about birthdays, the health benefits of a good sex life and how fantastic sex is with someone you can relate to, trust and can completely relax with.

And so its shower, gargle with her mouth-wash, dress, share a glass of iced water, and head out back to work.

It’s so good to be "back in the saddle"!

Sex and Aging

I guess its easy to write-off our wife’s loss of libido to aging and menopause, but there is also an impact of aging on our (men’s) sex life too (if not quite as severe as total loss of libido) that needs to be discussed more.  I am writing this from experience, being in the middle of it, so YMMV.

I come from a history of “hair-trigger” and learnt early on to prolong and enjoy foreplay before “the event”.  And so it was on my first punt some 25 years ago.  It was an overnight business trip away, I was sick of porn and needed the “real thing”.  Now this was before showers in bedrooms so I was washed by the lady from a bowl of warm water (does that give my age away?  It was all of $20 (which I claimed as a business meal allowance)).  Into bed, a little foreplay, then into “it” and, “bam”, it was over in 30 seconds.  So my feeling about my first experience of punting, was “Is that all there is?  What a waste of time and money”.

Fast forward to my middle fifties.  Home “life” had got so bad I was getting quite depressed and so tried punting again.  Fortunately, the first lady I saw was extremely helpful, took command, calmed my nerves, the main event lasted longer than 30 seconds and a most enjoyable time was had all round.  But over the following 3-4 years, I noticed significant changes.

Now of course, condoms reduce sensitivity which help subdue the “hair trigger”, but I then found myself losing my erection mid-stream.  Fortunately, I have a very understanding GP doctor who prescribed Viagra. Wow!  (The pros and cons of Viagra deserve a separate posting).  Not only was I enjoying “the ride” much more, but in combination with my new skills in DATY, my ladies seemed to find more enjoyment in riding a thick, rock-hard cock.  From 30 seconds, I could now last 20-30 MINUTES!  The journey was now more important (and pleasant?) than the “destination”.

But my prolonged fucking sessions masked something else that crept up on me.  I suddenly realised that more and more, I wouldn’t cum at all.  To some degree, it was in fact due to prolonged sessions that in fact decreased my sensitivity.  I discussed this with my understanding doctor, who advised that it was simply due to declining testosterone levels with age, and to just enjoy the ride.

I also noticed something else changing.  When I started punting again, I promised myself a FOTM (after abysmal annual or biennial attempts at home).  Needless to say, I soon found I had an “ache” after a fortnight, and by three weeks, I just had to go and “get my rocks off”. (Yes my young readers, I do remember my youth when the “urge” hit a couple times a day, but I never got the chance back then to “scratch that itch”).  But in the last year or so, I have found that that physical urgency just doesn’t come much any more.  There is a psychological “need” for the warmth and intimacy, but the physical “need” has declined markedly.

In the early stages, I think there was a sense of anger over my past situation, and I set out to visit as many parlours and ladies as I could financially and physically manage.  But I seem to have worked that out of my system and have found a parlour where I have a half a dozen or so lovely ladies that tick all my boxes, and I find much more pleasure in seeing my regulars.

With respect to not cumming very often, I have settled into several different patterns.

1. There are times when I really do need to cum, so I avoid masturbation for at least a week, then in our session, enjoy all the delights and varieties of foreplay, then in the main course, not try and prolong it but with my lady’s assistance with various squeezing and pressure techniques, achieve a happy ending.  I am very lucky in having a couple of favourite ladies who at times, to bring our session across the line, have removed the offending desensitizer for a natural or OWO (BBBJ) finish.
2. Then there are other times when “cumming” just isn’t important to me and my lady and I just enjoy the whole gammut of sexual pleasures including a wide variety of positions of the old fashioned....
3. Finally, with some ladies, the specialty is all oral, and one particular favourite has acquired a taste and provides that most explosive CIM finish ever.

As for the future, that remains to be seen.  I read of men having a fulfilling sex life into their 80’s - if I could be that lucky.

My next age related hurdle will be retirement and the loss of that regular income that has made my punting hobby possible.  Perhaps I will have to become acquainted with a circle of divorcees and widows that need some “comfort”!