Monday 27 April 2020

W - Waiting - Delayed Gratification (#AtoZChallenge)

Delayed gratification is a psychological technique for training impulse control. Two fundamental drives in humans are pain aversion and pleasure seeking.

Delayed gratification can have a number of uses in real life. As children, we were told to eat our vegetables first and we didn't get dessert until we had. In planning your day (at work) its often best to do the 'painful' and mundane things first, so the pleasant things can be seen as a 'reward'. One of the best methods to address procrastination (delaying or avoiding something) is to plan a 'reward' for yourself, after the things being avoided, are completed.
Delayed gratification is necessary to live with the cycles and time-lines of nature. We have to dig manure and prune thorns before we get to enjoy the fruits of our labour, whether edible or the beauty of flowers. I taught my 3 year-old grandson to garden by planting lettuce seeds and tomatoe seedlings. On each weekly visit, he would rush out to see how his 'marties' were growing. The pleasure and excitement he got when he finally picked a bag of cherry tomatoes to take home to his mum, was a sight to behold.

It is a fundamental lesson one must learn if we are to grow through life, whether emotionally, academically or physically. Growth requires work and effort, and the higher the goal one strives for, the harder the work and preparation. Consequently, it is probably the most important life skill you can teach your children. Learning the skill to grow and learn, is more important then academic knowledge itself.

There is also a situation where delay builds up anticipation, and repeated until the final gratification is much better then if taken at the beginning. This is the basis of sexual foreplay. At the extreme is Tantric techniques, where it is entirely focused, by meditative methods, on the continuous build-up, aiming at avoidance of the ultimate climax all together.



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